What do you wish you'd known at 16?

[wonderwhatshappening1978]

What do you wish you'd known at 16?

For me, I wish I'd been told that not every attentive man had good intentions. 😡. You?

That time passes and it is worth waiting.

That its OK to say no.

That I wasn't broken and worthless, my parents were just utter cunts.

That not being popular at school is not important in the long run.

To just wait it out. Some people peak in high school and they are pathetic..some friends will come at university instead.
Don't become so harsh to protect yourself from people hurting you; it'll take a while to shake that.

That my 27-year old boyfriend was a waste of space and an abusive narcissist and that I could do a lot better. Had I dumped him, I wouldn't have ended up with abusive dh.
Also, that at 16, I'd have been much better concentrating on my school work and to study chemistry at university. Working as a biochemist and doing cancer research would have been just as easy with a chemistry degree and you got better lecturers, not the dregs that had tenure that they wouldn't inflict on their own students.

Men, watch what they do and do not pay any heed to what they say. Men will lie and often do not have the best intentions for you.

How important having a vocation is

That other people's opinions really don't matter.

That the vast majority of men are selfish and vile. They really do think we are beneath them.

^

I agree with this. The vast majority of men are shits.

And yes, I have a son. I'll be trying my damndest to make sure he's different.

to be quieter

@lljkk

to be quieter

?

I flipping hate attention.

lljkk my mum would say the same about her childhood, with abusive parents. Hope you're ok-ish.

That I wanted to be a paramedic

Kind of you colouring but I think you misunderstand.

My parents wanted me to be outgoing & sociable.
Teachers always wanted us to speak up & contribute.
Everyone said I'd get used to public speaking -- they were wrong. I've done tonnes, including TV experiences: I still hate public speaking.

I find the more diffident I am the happier I am.
The fewer opinions I have the happier I am.
The less I suggest how to run the world -- the happier I am.

I hate being publicly wrong too, but really, it's about letting the bossy noisy people do their thing & not mixing with them or their ways. I'll do my thing.

Better to be quiet.

Very glad to have misunderstood! Enjoy doing your thing

So much stuff..

First and foremost, to be confident and believe in myself. I was both pretty and clever but I constantly felt worthless, apologised for my sheer existence and that used to attract really abusive men. I only know that NOW, looking back.

To stop people pleasing. I was in my mid 30s when I realised that my feelings mattered too and I have every right to look after myself too and to protect myself from toxic people and situations.

To drink less

That I didn't need a man to make me happy.
I should have worked towards the career I wanted, not the one my mum wanted for me.

You are beautiful, you are likeable. Please don't believe those bullying girls, they have their own problems.

Think about what you would like to do with your life and start doing that.

One day your life will be better than this.

Use a bit of common sense when it comes to boys. What do you think their main motivation is? It's not like a corny teenage romance.

Hear hear

If you have enough money you can just dip in and out of the man pool and not get tied down to one. If I had my time again I would work hard, save and invest hard and just go on dates or have a couple of boyfriends.

I know that sounds quite bad, but at 50 I have decided that I really do not like men in general.

Believe that you deserve good people in your life and be patient enough to wait for their arrival. Don’t settle for the first guy that has given you some positive attention.

That your parents opinion are their own not law.
That you are skinny even though your friend is skinnier.
That not all attention from boys/men is good.
To choose a career path, and train for it even if you do get a job just to move out.
While a mortgage young was good, also keep an eye on your pension.
And don't listen, marriage is not just a piece of paper, especially after kids.