I'm not depressed (been there and it's not like that at all.) I'm not in the UK and where I live we don't have strict lockdowns or anything and few cases, although I still don't meet many people, but it's not that really. Or maybe it is, I'm not sure.
Today I just can't shake this feeling of melancholy. I cried in the shower this morning, proper big crying. And it started off as one thing (just feeling a bit lonely) and then turned into thinking about my childhood (a bit lonely and shit) and my poor grandmother who had a hard life, and my mother who also had a hard life but who wasn't a very nice mother so it's hard to feel sorry for her, and my lovely little boy who I love so much and who is just so innocent and sweet.
Normally I'm quite good at just carrying on with things, putting on a brave face and not ruminating too much (but still acknowledging my emotions) but today it just seemed to overwhelm me.
My husband is lovely, we're a great team and do everything together. He's so reliable, caring, never lets me down, is a wonderful father and everything I could hope for. But he's not great at talking about feelings. He'll do an awkward shoulder pat at best. I know he wants to support me but doesn't know how at all. Anyway, the point is I can't really talk to him about my feelings because that usually leaves me feeling more lonely because he doesn't get it.
I wish I could get out of this sad mood. It feels so oppressive.