Hi,
This discussion was prompted after someone had forgiven her best friend for running off with her husband.
I’ll start first, the person I forgave was my Mother, she walked out on my Father, me and my sibling when I was 9, she packed her bags, walked out of the door, looked up at me as I was watching her walk away confused, she gave me a cold stare, then got into the car that was waiting for her, (affair partner.)
My Father had a mental breakdown after, he left him job, as he needed to care for me and my sister, a few months later he managed to find a job that worked alongside our school hours.
They never paid maintenance, even though her partner was extremely wealthy. We lived in poverty, I wore shoes that were too small, that had holes in the sides and when I walked home from school, I always got wet socks and feet, a coat that was too small and had ripped, which my Father had sewn up, we didn’t have many clothes and the food we had was all basic.
However, my Father gave us an amazing childhood, he made us laugh, he taught us new skills, read to us, played with us and listened to us when we were crying and missed our Mother, took us out for adventures in the woods to make dens and made our childhood a happy one, even though we spent our young lives without our mother and rarely saw her.
My Mother refused to pay for anything, my Father would ask for money on occasion to buy shoes, a coat, an umbrella for when we had to walk home in the rain from school and this request was always refused, we did receive birthday cards and Christmas cards but never any gifts.
As I grew up and my Mother moved closer (she lived 5 hours away previously,) we had more contact.
When I grew older, I questioned my Mother, I also let her know the affects of her leaving had on us all, I told her we lived in poverty and we had to go without a lot but we had a happy childhood. She was very remorseful and often says, she doesn’t recognise the person she was back then and she has apologised many times.
I forgave her and forgot the past and we do have a good relationship now, she has a lot of mental health issues and she also had a very dysfunctional upbringing involving neglect, foster homes and abuse, something I only found out when I was older.
So what’s the biggest thing you’ve forgiven that’s impacted your life?