Is this parent alienation or normal?

[Momma2021]

Hi I would like any advice if anyone has experienced simular. My toddler has been acting really angry and aggressive towards me recently, he has been saying out the blue he is going to call the police on me one day he came home and threw himself on the floor and said I was hurting him I was no where near him - like to point out here that I would never hurt my son. He sometimes randomly kicks me out the blue, yesterday we were doing a jigsaw I had told him I will make him space by putting some the ones that aren't edges in the box until we were ready he completely flipped out started punching me, I calmly said to calm down and I ask him to sit in the thinking chair when his time was up he said I'm going to call the police, I calmly said mummy was only trying to help you and you must nt hurt mummy like that I said what would happen if you hurt mummy and she had to go hospital he said I would say sorry to the doctors sad there was no remorse and he said he was happy. Today I was playing with him he wanted me to tickle him and he bit me out the blue and then this afternoon he was banging his head with his hand and I think the issue was that I was sitting next to him and so I moved and then he came sat with me in my knee, I feel sure something is being said by his father but he will not say anything only he's been doing secret things with daddy, I've asked them at nursery they said he is fine there and have made them aware and he acts like he wants to see his dad, is thus behaviour normal toddler behaviour? Has my son got a bit of autism and or the start of parent alienation, has anyone been through simular? Any advice really welcome don't know what to do or to action or wether I need to just keep a note until I have significant proof if there is or could thus be normal for a toddler? And especially in the current climate. Oh and the reason I left his father was as he was narcissistic and emotional abusive so as you can see why I might be looking in this direction. Anyway would be so greatful to any advice as dont want my son to grow up to be a bully
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Momma2021
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Advice is it normal or parent alienation

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Hi I would like any advice if anyone has experienced simular. My toddler has been acting really angry and aggressive towards me recently, he has been saying out the blue he is going to call the police on me one day he came home and threw himself on the floor and said I was hurting him I was no where near him - like to point out here that I would never hurt my son. He sometimes randomly kicks me out the blue, yesterday we were doing a jigsaw I had told him I will make him space by putting some the ones that aren't edges in the box until we were ready he completely flipped out started punching me, I calmly said to calm down and I ask him to sit in the thinking chair when his time was up he said I'm going to call the police, I calmly said mummy was only trying to help you and you must nt hurt mummy like that I said what would happen if you hurt mummy and she had to go hospital he said I would say sorry to the doctors :( there was no remorse and he said he was happy. Today I was playing with him he wanted me to tickle him and he bit me out the blue and then this afternoon he was banging his head with his hand and I think the issue was that I was sitting next to him and so I moved and then he came sat with me in my knee, I feel sure something is being said by his father but he will not say anything only he's been doing secret things with daddy, I've asked them at nursery they said he is fine there and have made them aware and he acts like he wants to see his dad, is thus behaviour normal toddler behaviour? Has my son got a bit of autism and or the start of parent alienation, has anyone been through simular? Any advice really welcome don't know what to do or to action or wether I need to just keep a note until I have significant proof if there is or could thus be normal for a toddler? And especially in the current climate. Oh and the reason I left his father was as he was narcissistic and emotional abusive so as you can see why I might be looking in this direction. Anyway would be so greatful to any advice as dont want my son to grow up to be a bully

Fb mother’s unite is good for this

The 'secret things with daddy' is worrying. I would inform nursery of this, ask for their help in reporting that comment to safeguarding authorities so that there is an official record of it. Also look at the NSPCC Pants resources online and talk to your son about this.

His new behaviour could be many things, but one of the things that can indicate a child is being abused in some way is a sudden change in behaviour. That he is talking about secrets also concerns me.

I echo what the previous poster says and would be concerned a change of behaviour and secrets with daddy indicate something sinister. It may not but I'd certainly be worried about him.

I would be concerned about what the secret things with daddy are

Have you checked him all over for any injuries. I would keep telling him mummy loves him and he can tell you anything. It's not normal behaviour, someone is putting ideas in his head

Thankyou for all your comments, I don't believe he would hurt him physically but knowing what he is like I do believe he is trying to turn him against me and make it look like I'm not looking after him for his own agenda, that's my feeling but again, it's really difficult when he's happy at school and happy to go to his dad but then behaving in this way and won't say anything against his dad to me, he even came home the other day from his dad and we were looking through the magnetic book of words there was a picture of a cave with a tiger jumping the word we were looking for was jump and he said that's scary and I said it is and the tiger is jumping so we are looking for the word jump and instead of trying to write this he wrote moma straight away, he has also been shouting get me down!! When he has been sat on my knee and I've said you can get down I am not stopping you, or you can say can you get me down please and he has said 'say.. get me down!! Which suggests someone has told him to say this, I don't know where to turn and having been in a normal situation, I would be staying with my parents for them to witness his behaviour. I feel like the school just think I'm a hypercondract and his dad is so manipulative this is my worry as I don't know what his game is and I want to make sure I'm putting all the right things in place or what to do? It's hard I was really hoping the school would have had something as this I feel doesn't lead me anywhere

Is he close to anyone else, a grandparent maybe who could have a chat with him? They may be able to get something out of him

I know, I could ask my dad its just so difficult as we can only go into there garden at the moment as they are waiting to get there vaccine and I don't know how he could sutly say something without my son retracting anything back to his father, its so tricky is there any advice on how what I could get my dad to say to him, thanks so much for your time really any advice

Does your son attend a nursery or school?

Hello orlapeely, my son is at nursery. I had spoken to the nursery teacher about it and she said she spoke to my son and she said he was fine, didnt seem to have any concern but then she also told me this in front of my son :/which I was uncomfortable with as again this could all get back to his dad. That apart She is a really good teacher and I would hope my son would say something

If there is any sort of comment that could cause a safeguarding concern then nursery should report rather than investigate by asking the child directly. You could speak to your health visitor (call the local council to find their central phone number) and keep a record of all comments and behaviour from your son that worry you, with dates. This will be helpful if you need to explain the situation to any professionals and to help you spot patterns that might explain it. You don't need to worry that reporting or discussing these things will cause anyone to doubt your parenting- it will show how strongly you care and are taking responsibility for protecting your son x

Thankyou so much! You would have thought so would nt you!? Maybe they have. I have spoken to the health visitor last year with regard to other concerns again in relation to his father and I just felt deflated when I put the phone down, she said clearly you both love your son which had know relevance to my concerns and I thought was rather personal and unprofessional, I feel like without hard Stone proof they don't want to know! Or take any responsibility to listen to any concerns and this seems to be a theme And then it makes you question yourself and your intuition that's exactly what his father wants.
They think you have a vendeture against his father, which I have been as fair as I can since the break up and had to deal with some really horrendous abusive messages, luckily he has backed off.
My son is to see his father tomorrow and so I will see what happens, my son is getting a little but older now and so hopefully he will be able to understand a bit more and hopefully open up, I'm also vigilant in what he is saying and doing