Brother lead by his d**k!

[COPPER3]

My DB is 51 and I love him very much, but I DO NOT LIKE HIM!. He recently married for the third time to a younger lady with 3 kids. He then moves them all in with him and my 23yo nephew's small 3 bed house. My nephew works with his Dad too. The new wife had her own house (council and was receiving benefits), it was a lovely house in a quiet village and the benefits meant she was well protected. Why oh why, they had to get married I have no idea, other than my DB is controlling.
He has had a string of women, all moved in with him, within weeks. His own 3 kids have seemed to come a poor second to him.

My DN overheard his Dad and new wife having LOUD sx and had a melt down. He packed his car and left after trying to talk to his Dad how unacceptable it was. My DB apparently refused to accept any wrong and told DN to "F*K OFF"
I am absolutely fuming with my DB! My DN has gone back to live with his mum and is looking for a new job. Of course, my DB is now remorseful and asking DN for forgiveness.

I am so mad with DB and his new wife.
Please help me with my question...
Should I keep quiet and let my brother get on with his new life? (give someone enough rope and they hang themselves attitude)
Or should I tell him just what I think of his stupid, selfish actions and risk us falling out for good?
Thank you for advice.

how much contact do you normally have with him? daily/weekly/monthly/hardly ever? do you have a close relationship?

Keep quiet. Does your brother own the house? His new wife will have a share of it if the marriage fails....

Your nephew is quite old enough to fend for himself...he'll be fine with his Mum.

Keep out of it, it sounds like a lot of drama.

Don’t get involved. If he asks your opinion you can say what you’ve said here and leave it at that.
I couldn’t get past his selfish behaviour tbh. It’s all about him isn’t it?

Your nephews a 23 year old man not a little kid. I think you should stay out it. If your husband wants to marry multiple women and move them in that's his prerogative, his son is an adult now so sadly if he isnt happy he needs to go somewhere else.

*your brother not husband

My DB has totally fucked his life up through his constant and incompetent womanising and generally stupid decisions. I don't have anything to do with him any more.

Your nephew is older enough to fight his own battles and your brother isn’t going to change his behaviour based on you getting annoyed at him so I’d just leave it

Do DB and DN own the house together?

To be fair, new wife made the decision to leave her council house. Does this impact on her benefits income?

Can he spend £1.5k a month on luxuries during lockdown?

Be there for your DN and as supportive as you can practically be. Sorry to read that your DB is just a dirty middle age man- unfortunately he has too many role models, Ryan Giggs and Boris Johnson come to mind.

I would not blame you for reducing or almost stopping contact with your DB.

Stay out of it. They are all adults. It really is none of your business.

Well I have to say I don't think a 23 year old living at home should be telling their dad it is "unacceptable" for him to hear them having sex. That was the least unreasonable thing in the thread, and certainly not his wife's fault.

But besides that, he does sound like a dick generally. I would probably just stay out of it but distance myself.

Thank you so much for your advice. My DB is a controller and a rescuer. New wife has given up her benefits (i would hope) and my DB seems happy to fund her and her DC.
I probably only see DB twice a year, but we keep in touch.

My darling DN will be better off. He is saving for his own mortgage. It's just a shame he has been forced out of his own home before he is ready, but I know he will be fine.
I think owing to the advice on here, I will stand back and let my DB get on with his life until the next new woman...ha ha!