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Original poster

More of a WWYD?

32 replies

UpTaeHighDoh · 29/01/2021 07:10

I know a lot of people are in my position and I'm not the only one feeling like this, but just wondering WWYD?

I had my first baby during the first lockdown. Was in lockdown for the last 3 months of my pregnancy and have been all of my son's life. He's my parents first grandchild and they've seen him quite a few times (used to take him round a lot when restrictions were eased last summer). Since Christmas, they've only seen him around once a week for half an hour or so outdoors.

It breaks my heart as they love and miss him so much! My parents live less than a mile from me, both early 60s with no underlying health conditions. My mum only leaves home to come for a walk with us or occasionally go to the supermarket. My dad on the other hand takes any opportunity to get out, he's climbing the walls. He not socialising but goes to the supermarket almost daily, been to B&Q, the local bakers, etc.

DH and I get our shopping delivered and only leave home for outdoor exercise. I'm still on maternity leave and DH is working full-time from home. I feel bad that DS is cooped up indoors most of the day and I'm tired.

We're in Scotland so not eligible to bubble with another household due to having a baby under 1 but I really want to let my parents have him for a few hours. It would make them so happy to spend time with him, keep the bond growing and also give me a break.

What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:

mekitgubakuds · 29/01/2021 07:15

Firstly I'd start the thread in a relevant topic area.. why is this in AIBU?

Then I'd just meet the grandparents for a walk with baby. They live a mile away, you can meet half way and have a stroll a couple of times a week.

RandomPatternedTiles · 29/01/2021 07:21

Regardless of any rules, your dad is being irresponsible shopping daily and as such is putting himself (and others) at risk - i wouldn't want my baby with someone who I knew had been exposed so much.

SnowyPetals · 29/01/2021 07:29

The only thing you can do within the rules is wrap your baby up warm and meet outdoors.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

lljkk · 29/01/2021 07:41

Are you allowed in Scotland to meet them for walks?

Your baby is too young to miss them, Lockdown won't last forever.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 29/01/2021 07:43

So what you're considering doing is illegal in Scotland is it?

Your Dad's being daft going out everyday, perfectly healthy people with no underlying conditions die everyday from Covid.

user1493413286 · 29/01/2021 07:46

I had my second baby in February and my parents in law have had baby DS a few times under a childcare bubble; in part some of it has been because DH works long hours and I’ve had a few appointments where I couldn’t take DS very easily; they also had him for me to get some sleep as he’s a bad sleeper and I was on my knees with exhaustion

purpleme12 · 29/01/2021 07:47

Well if you're happy to leave baby with them, I would
Or you could meet them outside more, go for a walk etc

ButterMeUpScotty · 29/01/2021 07:48

Tell your dad that he needs to stopping popping to all these shops every day and then they can take baby three times a week for 3 hours a time (or something like that). You and your DH are no extra risk to them if you genuinely aren’t going anywhere. Just use a bit of common sense.

joystir59 · 29/01/2021 07:50

You can meet gp every day for a walk.

Catchingfire123 · 29/01/2021 07:50

My second is in the same situation and they have only seen their grandparents 2-3 times since they were born. We don’t live locally so don’t have the option of meeting for a walk.

Depends how worried you are, I’m more worried about looking after a small baby and having flu like symptoms than I am ending up in hospital (the latter is more unlikely as I’m young / healthy). I’m still quite cautious as it’s awful looking after children when you are ill (we have had various bad colds / stomach bugs etc pre Covid).

I personally wouldn’t risk it, keep up with walks and it’s the best you can do.

joystir59 · 29/01/2021 07:50

Leave child with them at least once a week for a few hours

Tickly · 29/01/2021 07:55

It won't last forever. Meet outside whenever the weather allows assuming that's what's allowed - you're lucky that's possible. My baby has never been held by GP as high risk GP here in the UK. Currently we can even go for a walk because homeschooling means I have over 5s with me too so the walking with one other rule doesn't work. Other GPs live overseas and we assume won't meet the baby for at least another year.

SpamIAm · 29/01/2021 07:56

They're seeing a darn sight more of their grandparents than my kids have. DS has seen his paternal grandparents twice since he was born (he's 13 months now), my parents are closer so last time we saw them was Christmas Day.

If you're allowed to meet up for walks (no idea on the rules in Scotland) then keep doing that. I wouldn't be adding any illegal activities on to that. The more people comply with the rules the sooner restrictions will be eased.

HappyFlamingo · 29/01/2021 07:58

YABU for not putting this in the coronavirus topic.

guiltynetter · 29/01/2021 08:01

Can you not make a childcare bubble with them. I did this with my sister when she had a baby so i could spend more time with him and give her a break. Personally if this was my family I would defo be leaving him for a few hours.

SimplyRadishing · 29/01/2021 08:05

I'd make a bubble anyway and crack on.
Although I would ask/insist my dad to knock the daily outings on the head though. A once weekly shop is more than sufficient.

AliceinBunniland · 29/01/2021 08:05

I'm not sure what your question is exactly but I think people should be following the rules.

Most of us have people we'd like to see or things we are missing out on. It seems like some people think they are the only ones.

Your dad is being irresponsible.

Meet them for a socially distant walk.

Original poster

UpTaeHighDoh · 29/01/2021 08:11

Thanks all. Just to answer a few questions -

Rules in Scotland state that 2 people from 2 households can meet outdoors (children under 12 aren't counted so I can meet my mum OR dad).

Daily walks aren't possible at the moment unfortunately as it's been raining non-stop where I am for a few days now.

Unfortunately not allowed a childcare bubble, these are only permitted here for key workers and as I'm at home on mat leave it's a no go.

I posted here as it's by far the busiest board so knew I'd get more replies. I've asked for the thread to be moved to Chat.

It's not a competition, as I said, I'm well aware that my situation isn't unique and there are many others in the same/worse position. It's crap for everyone. DH and I have taken the rules very seriously and stuck to all restrictions. I know DS isn't old enough to miss his GPs but they definitely miss him. My Dad is well aware of my feelings on his daily supermarket visits but there's not a lot I can do about it. I'm worried about him to be honest, he's never had an kind of mental health issue in his life, however the last year has really taken its toll on him and I think he may be a bit depressed.... like many others.

OP posts:

Original poster

UpTaeHighDoh · 29/01/2021 08:12

@AliceinBunniland just to clarify, my question is, what would you do in this situation... let GPs have DS for a few hours or not?

OP posts:

AliceinBunniland · 29/01/2021 08:19

let GPs have DS for a few hours or not?

It sounds as though it is against the rules plus your father is being irresponsible so I wouldn't be happy mixing households with them anyway. So "not".

I'm sure your grandparents miss them and you and you miss them but as you say this is a given and many of us are in the same boat.

I'm not saying YABU but I know too many people ignoring the rules because they don't want to stay home or they miss people or they think covid isn't a real problem and I think it is selfish and irresponsible.

I hope your dad is okay. This situation is taking its toll on many. We need to support each other but safely.

Cuntitinthebin · 29/01/2021 08:20

The problem is, if everyone felt like you and did what you're suggesting, we will never get out of this mess.

I live round the corner from my parents. I've spent no time with them since Christmas Day. I have a four year who is actually missing his grandparents but it's still a no.

I'm also working full time while trying to homeschool him. I really need a break, but it's still a no.

Monkeytapper · 29/01/2021 08:22

I think as you have been careful and sticking to rules throughout with OH working from home and you getting online shop, it would be then silly to let your parents look after your baby if your Dad has been going to shops everyday.
We all miss people and if everyone bent the rules to suit themt hen we will be stuck like this forever.

abikeindividual · 29/01/2021 08:26

I'm a SAHM, fiance WFH and I go to the supermarket once a week, daily walks around our estate. We're in a support bubble with my mum because she lives alone and we're still not seeing her. She works in a school so it's too much of a risk in our eyes. It sucks, it really does but you'll be breaking the rules and if we all did that, we'll be in lockdown forever. Can you do regular FaceTime or similar? We do them a lot of GPs for my 2 year old and it helps massively.

Doidontimmm · 29/01/2021 08:27

I’m in Scotland, you are breaking rules meeting both outside & yes I would judge if I saw you. Your dad is being totally irresponsible shopping every day. I wouldn’t leave my baby with them. Stop trying to bend rules, if everyone did this we will never get out of this.

Original poster

UpTaeHighDoh · 29/01/2021 08:37

@Doidontimmm

You clearly haven't understood my OP.

I stated that I can meet mum OR dad. Your judgement doesn't interest or bother me. I am not trying to bend any rules, if I wanted to do that then I would. I'm not asking for permission, my question is, what you would do?

OP posts:

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