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Original poster

How common is it to throw a colleague under a bus as an arse-covering exercise?

138 replies

JockTamsonsBairns · 29/01/2021 00:22

It's happened to me this week, and I'm a bit taken aback. The details aren't particularly relevant, but I've been working hard on something for months which has required some input from my line manager - I've been asking for this frequently over the past two months, but it's been pushed down his priority list.
I have always had a good working relationship with him, and I fully accept that his workload has been overwhelming lately.
I emailed him on Friday of last week, giving him a final nudge, and saying that if we didn't make some changes then we could be facing a potential complaint against us.
I didn't hear anything over the weekend (fair enough, but we do regularly keep contact out of hours), and so I rang him first thing on Monday morning. Call went straight to voicemail, and I left a message asking him to ring me as soon as he got a chance. He didn't.
Tuesday morning saw the completely predictable complaint. Almost word for word, it lists what I have been asking my line manager to do since November.
On receipt of this complaint, the entire dept springs into action, and starts to implement the measures I've been trying to introduce for three months. Ok, I'm happy that things are finally moving forward.

This morning, I was summoned to my manager's office. He was sitting alongside the top director person, which I hadn't expected, and began a spiel about how we could have done things differently, and what lessons we could learn from this.

The outcome isn't relevant here, but I'm very interested in how common this is? Do people generally fuck over their team members, in order to cover their own arses?

I'm reeling.

OP posts:
JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 29/01/2021 02:19

This happened to me a few times when I worked in the public sector. There's some weird accountability attitudes in public sector, no one likes to admit to fucking up so they point to the next person they think they can blame.

CustardyCreams · 29/01/2021 02:21

In this situation, I would defend myself calmly and firmly. I would send an email addressed to line manager AND the senior manager, with the chain of emails attached, with subject “After-action review”. In the body of the email, I would say, “following the recent preliminary meeting to discuss the problem leading to the complaint, I am sharing the emails I kept leading up to this so that we can complete an in-depth after-action review. As you can see from my email on (date), I first raised the issue for attention with Line Manager. The subsequent emails show my reports to line manager on the issue and how I tried to mobilise effort to address the issue. I would be pleased to take part in the next meeting to discuss the full chain of events.”

Don’t be a patsy. Stick up for yourself.

Coyoacan · 29/01/2021 03:22

I'm often surprised at how cowardly people can be, even when not faced with a terrible threat, OP.

But you would be totally daft to remain loyal to your line manager under the circumstances.

spottygymbag · 29/01/2021 03:39

What @CustardyCreams said. Don't let this muddy your reputation by taking the blame for something you tried to be proactive about.
DH had this happen to him- took all the info to the MD (one up from his line manager). Line manager ended up going through supervision and training and was ultimately moved sideways into a position where he couldn't do much damage.
DH came out of it looking mature, responsible and moved on from the company with good references.

Melange99 · 29/01/2021 03:50

You don't owe him any loyalty. None. He has tried to shaft you. You need to follow up your meeting in writing, copying in the other colleague who was in the meeting. You need to include those attempts by you to get him to engage about the problem. Stop being so polite. This has gone beyond politeness. Your reputation is on the line, possibly your job. There is no way I would take the rap.

wellthatsunusual · 29/01/2021 03:52

It's not the norm where I work now, and it absolutely would not be accepted. We'd all be expected to account for ourselves, there would be no such thing as taking one person's word against another's.

But I spent the first ten years of my working life working somewhere that that was absolutely the norm. It was accepted behaviour, and even if you had proof that you weren't to blame, managers refused to read the emails or have a meeting about it. It was always pushed down to the most junior person to take the blame, and a refusal to accept the blame for someone else's mistake was deemed to be 'not being a team player'. It was soul destroying because anyone who had a crap manager or sneaky colleagues had their own reputation trashed by it.

arcof · 29/01/2021 04:00

In this case, and having been burnt before as you have now, if he was not doing his job and complaint is likely as a result, I'd have gone over his head to the next up the chain well before when I know the deadline is. I would have politely let him know that first. even let him know that first. That's what I'd do moving forward. Always cover your arse first. Sorry this happened :(

Taikoo · 29/01/2021 05:06

You're mad if you let yourself get butt fucked on his behalf.
Forward on all the emails to management and HR.

You will be so angry with yourself, in hindsight in the future, if you don't.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 29/01/2021 05:22

Id forward the emails to HR and make a complaint.

PhilCornwall1 · 29/01/2021 05:27

I work for a Consultancy and Professional Services company and see it all the time from clients, not so much in the company itself though.

I've had a couple of clients try and do this to me (usually incompetent Project/Programme Managers), but I keep all email and always follow up calls with emails.

Programme Director for the client I am working for now tried this in a Project Board meeting a few weeks ago and I was expecting it, so had all the evidence ready and then promptly returned the favour and did the same to him in the meeting. It ended up being costly for the client in liquidated damages and also cost that little prick his job, which when he tried it on was my intention. No sleep has been lost over that.

You've got all the email evidence, now go and throw the fucker under a bus to see how they like it.

CheddarGorgeous · 29/01/2021 05:28

I'd send the lot to the senior manager but say that you wanted to set the record straight and LM must have been under a lot of pressure not to have dealt with it etc. So tell the truth but show concern and compassion for your LM.

Do you know if they are having other issues at work or home?

Ricebubbles2 · 29/01/2021 05:29

Everyone is out for themselves in workplaces now days
If you are given the opportunity then let the relevant people see the emails you had sent.
As i was advised look after yourself and have your own back not everyone else's.
They do not pay your wages.

PhilCornwall1 · 29/01/2021 05:35

So tell the truth but show concern and compassion for your LM.

You are a better person than me. The Manager showed no compassion, so I'd find it hard not to hammer them into the ground if I could.

muddledmidget · 29/01/2021 05:44

@CustardyCreams

In this situation, I would defend myself calmly and firmly. I would send an email addressed to line manager AND the senior manager, with the chain of emails attached, with subject “After-action review”. In the body of the email, I would say, “following the recent preliminary meeting to discuss the problem leading to the complaint, I am sharing the emails I kept leading up to this so that we can complete an in-depth after-action review. As you can see from my email on (date), I first raised the issue for attention with Line Manager. The subsequent emails show my reports to line manager on the issue and how I tried to mobilise effort to address the issue. I would be pleased to take part in the next meeting to discuss the full chain of events.”

Don’t be a patsy. Stick up for yourself.

Definitely this! If you don't stand up for yourself, this will haunt you, plus LM will know he can get away with it, and every other LM will think you're incompetent so you'll never get a transfer. You did your job, highlighting the weakness in the chain isn't throwing somebody under the bus, it's part of the complaint review process and every business needs every happy customer it can get at the moment. You can be compassionate if you want, but to be honest I'd stick to fact and evidence, your LM needs to be the one explaining that the workload and pressure exceeded him, not you, as it is only speculation on your part as to why it got missed. He may have a reason as to why he didn't do as you asked, but he needs to have the chance to explain that
JaninaDuszejko · 29/01/2021 05:46

Agree with everyone else, you need to show the evidence that you took the issue to your line manager months ago. But for future reference in these situations you need to take things higher yourself before it hits crisis point. Agree with PPs that you probably need to move job now. He is paid more than you and he needs to take responsibility for his own failings (frankly, even if you fuck up it is his job as your manager to support you and be accountable for your fuck up).

Dyrne · 29/01/2021 05:47

Best way to handle this is to drop manager in it from a great height. Don’t just forward the emails, that might just piss big bosses off that you’re doing a tit-for-tat.

Raise it in a way that looks like you’re just trying to find ways of implementing lessons learned - “how to improve the escalation/prioritisation process” or some such bollocks.

IEat · 29/01/2021 09:17

Happens to me too
Oh (my name) said x y z
So I but in now and say yes I did but I said a b x y
Not Z so it sounds like the person didn’t hear what I said .
Throw the gits off the cliff

BigPaperBag · 29/01/2021 10:10

@JockTamsonsBairns

I have a lengthy trail of emails on this issue, and I would have no difficulty whatsoever in absolving myself. I can produce emails spanning back to November, highlighting that there was an issue which required immediate attention. Had my concerns been heeded, we could have definitely avoided a complaint - no question.

I just feel strange about this. If I produce this paper trail in my defence, then my line manager will be seen to be clearly culpable. This time last week, I would never have dreamed of dropping him in the shit, so to speak. But then, this time last week, I never could have imagined he'd drop me in the shit.

This is awful. I've no idea what to do.

Don’t you dare feel strange about this!! Your line manager certainly didn’t feel strange about doing this to you. Get your emails out and make sure you clear your name and make him look like a complete twat Flowers
MustardMitt · 29/01/2021 10:19

Like others I’ve been stung for stuff like this so I don’t stay quiet. I keep all my emails so I can evidence that I emailed X amount of times over X amount of days, and if I am worried that my request is unclear I make sure to bulletpoint and use simple words Wink

I’ve also been (gently) told off for not escalating issues sooner when I haven’t had a response, so generally a person will get the email, a chaser, and then the next chaser I cc in their boss along with the ‘can I have a progress update please?’.

EmmapausalBitch · 29/01/2021 10:21

Please use those emails to stand up for yourself; don't let your line manager get away with this. There are loads of great suggestions on how to do this by pp.

I had a boss once who was very skilled at throwing her direct reports under the bus, and ensuring that none of us shone more brightly than she did. It was soul destroying, and I'm very happy to be self employed now.

Good luck, and please update us Smile

Love51 · 29/01/2021 10:29

@PhilCornwall1

So tell the truth but show concern and compassion for your LM.

You are a better person than me. The Manager showed no compassion, so I'd find it hard not to hammer them into the ground if I could.

She didn't say be conpassionate. She said show compassion. That's a power play!
Love51 · 29/01/2021 10:30

Typo sorry. I can spell really!

Glittertwins · 29/01/2021 10:33

Oh yes, it's been attempted many times which is why I document phone calls / send the agreement back in an email. Good job you had the trail and I wouldn't hesitate to show it

Dentistlakes · 29/01/2021 10:33

Very common.

Document everything and keep emails. Never leave any doubt in your communication and if you don’t agree with a decision never just go along with it. Make sure your concerns are heard and documented.

Snowdrop30 · 29/01/2021 10:37

I saw a male colleague do this 3 x - each time to junior women. One of them was me, so I forwarded the email trail. The (senior, feminist) women managing him took a dim view of this (and other email trails which they received from other members of staff), and I think his card was marked from then on. I just disengaged. I don't know what would have happened if I had has less feminist bosses!