Reasons why you are a shit parent (light hearted)

[Ihatesandwiches]

I didn't provide apple slices.

Every day this week she has asked for apples slices (doesn't like them in her lunch box as they go 'funny'). Everyday I have dutifully chopped up an apple, fanned the slices out beside her sandwich. And she ignored the apple. Today (pre-shop) I added grapes (no apples left) and I'm the worst person EVER.
Today she wants the apple. She's 9 years old. Not 9 months. I said I would buy apples. She is ignoring the apples. I'm not doing this again.

I would let my daughter eat her colouring chalk. Enter the mother of all fits!

I stick my middle finger up at their backs as they walk away after being cheeky or backchatting - it doesn't happen much, so I take great satisfaction in it.

Because I won't cut out unlimited paper clothes for unlimited paper doll she's been inspired to make from flippin you tube

Lol @MaMaD1990 I bet she's not 9!

DD (3) demanded tomato pasta. She loves tomato pasta and there's nothing she wants nothing more for dinner than tomato pasta. So I made tomato pasta. Cue utter devastation. "There's TOMATO in it!"

I asked my 10 year old if he could just use one device at a time, he was playing on his x box, with his laptop on his knee and his phone in his hand. Apparently this was an unreasonable request and he absolutely had to use all 3 at once.

I sometimes forget my teen is in the house. A rare trip downstairs and I jump at the unexpected visitor

DD doesn't know about how shit a mum I am but she fell utterly head over heels in love with a crab hot water bottle I bought x2 of for a friend's DC for Christmas. Between Christmas and New year I spotted them in Sainsbos reduced to £2.50 & I didnt get her one. I didnt care about her recently having had loads of presents... I just couldn't be arsed to fill it up every night for her. Poor lamb would have been overjoyed with it.

I once bought a Barbie doll that one of my dd's had requested. She has never let me forget that I gave it to her sister by mistake for Christmas. She's 27!!