Waking up at 4 or 5am and anxiety

[Sorrytodisturbyou0]

Anyone else seem to have a brain transplant in the middle of the night? I’m usually a good sleeper but for the past week most nights I’ve woken up at anything from 4 to 5am, tossed and turned, wondered if I need the loo, decide to go to the loo, get back in bed and BAM. Every single worry I’ve ever had and just huge shame and over analysis of things I’ve done in the past, running over work stuff in my mind, just brain (and heart) racing in general.

Logically I think this might be as my self care has been really off the last 10 days or so, I fell off the wagon with dry january and haven’t been exercising, I’ve just felt in a slump.

Do I hold the answer myself do you think - just better self care during the day and perhaps stop drinking again (I haven’t been drinking a lot and definitely not Xmas level!) or is there something else going on?

I literally feel like I’m losing my mind.

Snap.

I know what triggers mine and (at the moment at least) I have to live with it. It's job stress, and will disappear by the summer.

In the interim, it's just getting up, decent box sets to distract me and acknowledging that it is shit, but it's not forever.

But yeah, 4am sucks.

3am'er here.

Welcome to the club

haha - my people. Sometimes 4 - sometimes 5 - I've had a lie in today.

Hollow laugh, a lie in had here, too. It sucks, big time.

Hi friends 😬

It’s 6am now, I’ve been awake two hours so probably just best to accept that’s me awake and I wont be going back to sleep

Dog can have an early walk once it starts to get light (been letting DH take care of that mainly) perhaps I just need to get out. Life has become very small with wfh nearly a year now and I think it’s all just got on top of me.

I end up feeling exhausted later in the day though. I’m just not a person who can cope with 4-5 hours sleep (having been previously 8-9 hours as a hidden bonus of this covid year)

Been up since 4am. I suffer from anxiety and have done all my life. Have tried all sorts of talking therapy, but taking low dose medication is the only thing that works for me. Also just discovered a leak in upstairs loo in old fashioned high mounted cistern. DP knew about it but didn’t mention it.
Why is it always me that has to sort everything? More money out, more stress, more worry.

What meds do you take @Zoorhik? Your comments resonated with me....I also feel like I’m the only one who takes responsibility for stuff (and why does everything suddenly come to the top of the brain in these witching hours...even things I can think rationally about 12 hours earlier!)

DH and I have been in separate beds for years now as he snores and likes a cold bedroom whilst I like a cozy one! So at least I’m not disturbing him (though I can still hear him snoring from across the landing!!)

This was a huge peri-menopause/menopause thing for me. It was awful.

A couple of okay hours sleep, followed by horrible anxious light sleep then just awake at some ungodly hour with a huge sense of dread and foreboding. The physicality of it was breathtaking. It was like that bit of a roller coaster where your stomach drops out, but constant. The only way to get past it was just to push ahead with my day and by 9am ish it would have gone.

Every night I would expect to catch up on sleep cause I was so exhausted, but then the same thing would happen again.

Then I went on hrt and the difference was mind blowing. The first couple of days I had 12+ hours sleep including lie in past 10am. That was only the first couple of days, but overall the my sleep is so much better on hrt and the terrible physical sensations of anxiety almost never happens.

Stomach churning is another symptom.

I don’t ‘feel’ stressed during the day even though I work in a fairly high pressure job. But I certainly feel stressed now

I've had it for about a year now and the one thing slowly starting to help is "stillness meditation" - no chimes, "breathwork" or mantras, literally just sitting with my eyes closed in a chair for 10-20 minute before bed. It sort of lets all the thoughts in my head calm down. If you Google it you can read up on it.

I just posted on another thread but I've also been awake and up since 4 today.

Some nights I don't sleep more than two hours and some nights I'm literally awake all night.

Financial stress,lockdown,worrying my dc are coping ok and making things fun for them,dh just got made redundant so weighing heavily on my mind but I've had bad insomnia for a long time it's just been made worse by the pandemic and all the shite that keeps going wrong since

The amount of school work is a lot more this time round and tween does need help and structure so it's not as relaxed as last time and the weathers shite so we can't sit in the sun and do it which helped massively last time.

Everyone I've spoke. To have said how they're struggling this time and sleep is affecting so many people

We're also is separate rooms @Sorrytodisturbyou0 - love my room!

@ItsLoisSangersFault peri menopause is a potential cause, I am early 40s, is that too early? Probably not.

Thanks to all those who have responded and made me feel less alone.

@wtfisgoingonhere21 two hours....that must be tough. I don’t have young kids to homeschool so that’s one burden I’m not feeling. It must be tough.

I agree re the sunshine. I’ve heard circadian rhythms are affected by lack of sunlight and I’m barely seeing any. I’m basically chained to my desk from 8:30 through til 6 and any short breaks I do get don’t tend to be long enough to get out. Actually, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, sometimes I do get an hour but I’ll confess since Xmas I’ve just taken to zoning out and lying on bed as I’ve felt so overwhelmed.

To the poster who mentioned meditation, that’s an interesting one. I used to be good at listening to my Calm app before bed but I’ve fallen out of that habit. I don’t actually have too much of a problem falling asleep (I’m usually so exhausted by 11, read for a bit and asleep by 12) but it’s like after that first cycle of sleep has finished my body won’t enter another one.

I might cut out alcohol again and hope that stops the needing a wee, which seems to be the trigger for the waking.

Me too. I seem to post on many of these threads at the moment. I’ve been awake since 2.30 after going to sleep shattered. I can’t turn my mind off once awake. Interesting about HRT. I’m late 40s so could be something to talk to my gp about.

I wish I could be more production with my night wakes but usually end up on here.

I've been like this forever. My maximum is 6am and that's very rare, I just cannot switch off my thoughts at the time- I am a bit prone to worrying and that's when I do it. About 4,30 is my norm. I've just got used to a life of being a bit tired tbh, I'm 35 and I've been like it since a child.

Yup. Every night the same for months now.

For me it's asleep by 9. Awake by 11.30. Awake until 3-4 then asleep from 4-6.30. 9/10 hours in bed but 5 hours actually asleep.

Anxiety and peri menopause definitely enjoy those early hours of the morning.

I'm 43 but started peri ten years ago so def not too young. Peri can take up to ten years, and you can swing in and out if it if that makes sense.

In many ways peri is meant to be harder on mental health than when you are properly post meno like I am now. Partly that's cause the highs and lows of hormones are really unpredictable and partly because its harder to recognise whats happening to you.

@Sorrytodisturbyou0

What meds do you take *@Zoorhik*? Your comments resonated with me....I also feel like I’m the only one who takes responsibility for stuff (and why does everything suddenly come to the top of the brain in these witching hours...even things I can think rationally about 12 hours earlier!)

DH and I have been in separate beds for years now as he snores and likes a cold bedroom whilst I like a cozy one! So at least I’m not disturbing him (though I can still hear him snoring from across the landing!!)

Same here @sorrytodisturbyou0 ! I take 20mg duloxetine that just about takes the edge of the really bad anxiety but doesn’t make me feel fuzzy or detached. If I take a stronger dose I can’t sleep at all. Have tried every med under the sun and this works for me. Only thing is it has bad withdrawal side effects and if I forget a dose I feel very dizzy.

@Monkeytennis97 what do you do in the hours you’re awake? Do you accept it and read (or mumsnet??!) or toss and turn in the futile hope you’ll doze off again?

The worse for me is when I do fall asleep again but about 7:30 (Benefit of WFH is that alarm isn’t til 8) I then feel so groggy.

I think I shall get up by 7 (I’m quite warm and cozy in bed but it’s chilly in the house and the heating kicks in just before then) so that doesn’t happen. STRONG coffee needed

So this is sort of me - it's work stress - but I mitigate the impact of it by going to bed at 9 and listening or reading til 10. Then when I am up at 4:30-5:30 I haven't just had four or five hours sleep. Is it something you could try? It's definitely something about the time not the amount of sleep I've had for me, so this helps.

Do you have any control over your own diary? Could you put a private appointment in at an irregular time a couple of times a week and use it for a walk? Daylight is definitely really important. I've actually taken to putting "sanity break" into mine a couple of times a week and being really clear I need the time to get my act together. If I can't get daylight I do still try to leave the house even for a walk in the rain or dark.

Do you feel anxious during the day @Zoorhik or just in the middle of the night?

If this persists I will consider speaking to my doctor but I feel a bit daft considering it only happens 2-3 hours a day. I’m even starting to feel better now after chatting it through on here. But the pounding heart, churning tummy, dry mouth and crazy crazy racing brain feel like classic anxiety signs.

All tea and coffee is decaf in my house for exactly the reason I don't want it to be why I'm awake for hours

The downside is when I need a caffeine hit in the morning to get me going I have to get the coffee machine on the go which is a faff.

I tend to come downstairs after about half an hour of lying there because I just get so annoyed with myself so I come down,make a drink,faff with the dogs and put the tv on or I just get more stroppy trying to settle.

@Nacreous yes I think I need to do this. I feel like I DONT have control of my diary but the reality is I do, if I plan it a week or so ahead before it fills up. Some people are just so rude and dump stuff in anyway, ignoring private appts, and it’s really hard to explain why I can’t attend yet another zoom, as where else can I be???!

I think I need to get back on the self care wagon (as opposed to the self neglect which is more accurate) and see if that makes a difference

@Monkeytennis97 yes Mumsnet, LBC radio or audiobooks/podcasts. Rarely get up to make a drink but occasionally I do.