Is it better to be kept in suspense or to be let down?

[3aday]

I can't decide which is worse. Like when I am waiting to find out if I got a job and I am convinced I haven't got it. But by not knowing, there is always a hope. But the suspense is awful and anxiety provoking. What do you think is worse, that feeling of not knowing or finding out you haven't got it?

DH found out he hasn't got a job he applied for today so he is feeling low. I'm gutted for him. DS waiting on 11+ results, I think he may have messed up one of his questions in interview but we won't know for months yet. The not knowing is eating my insides.

I think I'd much rather be let down as soon as possible if it's definitely bad news than be kept in suspense. Personally I find the period of waiting for what you increasingly suspect, then become sure is going to be bad news much worse emotionally than the actual moment of hearing said bad news confirmed - I think it's perhaps because as you say, while you are waiting your brain is trying to process all the possible outcomes including the slim chance it's good news. It feels a bit stomach churning, and you can't really feel what you think you 'ought to' be feeling because you don't actually know. Whereas as soon as you know the situation you can start to process it and move on, even if that's a slow/painful thing to do.

Plus also of course while waiting you 'waste' a lot of time and emotion thinking about the worst possible outcome (personally I am a bit of a pessimist so my brain tends to assume that not only have I not got the job, I did such a horrific job of the interview that the panel were disgusted and appalled by me, wondered why I ever thought I could possibly do that job etc etc and fills the waiting hours with a lovely highlight reel of the misconceived jokes, embarrassing mistakes or plain silly things I've said in that and all previous interviews, played on a loop while I'm trying to sleep or concentrate on something else, thanks brain ). Even if it's true that I didn't get the job, it's usually worth knowing just to be able to shut that off and go back to my normal obsessive worrying ! Perhaps other people who are more naturally positive and optimistic don't do this but then again maybe they 'waste' lots of energy and hope thinking about how lovely it will be when they get that promotion/big house/hot new partner they are definitely getting and then are hideously shocked and let down when they don't?

Best of luck, hope you get news either way shortly, and that it's good news of course!

Gosh I know exactly what you mean. I think I used to be quite positive but nowadays I do just err towards the negative

Definitely rather know. Have to say though, I’m LOVING these Zoom interviews. I’ve been for two recently and got offered both on the same day! That situation is literally unheard of in my life, actually having a choice!! It was so relaxing knowing that they weren’t right there in my face and I was in my own personal space (and my slippers!)