CFs - any stories on comeuppance?

[SeeyouontheothersideofCovid]

Inspired by a recent CF thread.

Several comments were made about a lack of standing up to CFs which is how they get away with it, playing into that thing of most of us not wanting 'to cause a scene' or 'make a fuss'.

I think that in Covid times I have less opportunities to experience CFs, which in some ways is a shame as I would dearly love to try calling them out on it.

So to while away the time, do you have any CF stories to share where the CF perpetrator got their comeuppance or were hoist by their own petard?

Bumping.

I picked up on the other CF thread that someone suggested most of those hard done by CFs were being spineless in letting them get away with it. Fair point, but what do you do if it's a social situation and others are murmuring, 'don't make a fuss, don't cause a scene ...' ? So you end up feeling crap because either you let it go and and feel resentful, or you upset everyone else by calling it out!

Surely someone has something to add to this thread?

@SeeyouontheothersideofCovid
The trick is to not feel bad! Or worry about upsetting other people. This is the hard part but with practice gets easier.

ROCK THE BOAT!!!!!!!!!

Hi Nectarina

I think, though, the problem is in large social gatherings ie the classic meal out (obvs no such thing going on at the moment!). So there is a limited time where several people come together to meet up and have a good, fun time.

If you're feeling that one of the group is being a CF, you would feel like a social pariah for calling this out and risk being seen as the awkward git who spoiled a pleasant evening. It does take a tough hide to rock the boat.

IME when CF are challenged they have a great way of becoming the victim.

I know someone who deliberately does inflammatory things (less so a CF but definitely enjoys getting a reaction). Think wearing T shirts with obviously controversial statements to work. Yet when called up they act the complete victim.

It makes some people wary of calling them out. Personally I've just learnt to polish my CF and goody fucker radar and avoid at all costs. So don't feed them basically.

@SeeyouontheothersideofCovid
Yes, I see what you’re saying.
Have you ever met someone who speaks us for themselves kindly but firmly? What did you think of them? Did you admire them or was it annoying?
Do you think your friends would freeze you out for speaking up? Not invite you again?
Personally I was a people pleaser, but I’m not anymore. I feel like I’m more assertive but funnily enough kinder which is counter intuitive. I think if you clear away the bullshit you appreciate the good things more. Resentment disappears.

@Nectarina

Absolutely, I admire anyone who has the bottle to stand up to CFs. I'm less of a people pleaser as I get older but still struggle sometimes. Fortunately my chance of CF encounters is virtually zero in these times so I've no chance to practice.

We suffer CFuckery on a regular basis sadly because we live in a popular destination that has a very popular festival every year.

To my knowledge we have never had anyone have a comeuppance. Except for the friend of my husband's who stole something from us when staying for 8 fucking days and boasted about it to others. (He stole 3 bottles of Moet champagne I had been saving for DH's big birthday).

I guess it was a comeuppance .... he was frozen out of quite a prestigious club (too prestigious for us to belong to!) by mutual friends and ended up having to resign.... it took years though and we were only told about it last January. I'll never be able to look at that man the same way- and it seems that a number of other people could not either.

@PinkRosesPurpleHearts

Cor that's some tale. What I don't get is when people do stuff like that, have they no sense of shame? Or are their entitlement levels just off the scale?

Also what I don't get is how if someone is a regular CF (as told by others on this site) eg they're stingy, how come people keep on tolerating them? Does someone not suggest, 'hey, let's not invite 'ole stingy git to the pub?'

Someone made a great comment elsewhere that those people who often 'forget' to come out without their wallets rarely happen to forget their phones and keys.

I think some people have a victim mentality where they think everyone must be richer than them. Others must enjoy getting one over other people, even if it's their friends.

As for why no-one says anything, most of us are worried about being uptight/uncool/skinflint/killjoy/bolshy etc etc

I reckon we all try to kid ourselves that it doesn't really matter, it's only £3 or whatever, only if it does matter then we shouldn't be ashamed of admitting it does, and them either calling the other person out or not inviting them the next time.