Anyone on here who has no contact, from childhood ,with their dad through his choice ?

[dizzycatdance2]

HI all

Just watching long lost family , and one thing that comes across again and again is the desire by the "child" in the situation to know if they were wanted, if they were loved.

My Exh has not had contact ,of any description , with our 4ds in over 5 years , and it was sporadic for 3 years before that. We don't even know where he lives, no conatct details of any kind. DCs aged

As an adult who's dad doesn't form a part of your life how does it feel to be "abandoned" in this way ? I just feel so much for my DCs, 2 adults now.

If many adopted children feel the need for " I WAS loved, I WASN'T abadoned, they DO think of me" how does a father's choice to not be a part of his Dcs life comapre ?

I can't know what is it like, but I want to know so that I can help my DCs, atm as far as their father is concerned, they are not wanted , they are not loved .

Thanks

[quote dontputitinyourmouth]@Fudgsicles your DHs experience sounds identical to my husbands![/quote]
I actually find it really sad that they felt this was even necessary. It's still possible to be a good and present parent without being in a shit relationship with the, often toxic or abusive, other parent, causing yourself a lot of damage in the process.

ExH parents our DC perfectly well, always turns up for contact, never late, keeps in touch with DCs in between time, buys them things without question. I honestly don't see my DC suffering through their dad and I not being together.

DP could not see past his own abandonment so he wouldn't leave his child and my heart breaks sometimes at seeing the effect this has had on his MH. I think dads get a bad rep at times and this is what partly causes them to stay when they want to leave their wife/partner but not their DC.