Y2 child never having to try

[Grasses]

My daughter is in y2 and taught herself to read at age 2, can somehow already do maths etc, and has never really had to try at anything.

Feedback from parents evening was that she's top of the class (despite being the youngest) but will never ever stretch herself. They mentioned that at school they try to ask her trickier questions or set harder work once she's finished but she just refuses.

Obviously she's still really young but I don't think it's good for her to find everything easy because she will never learn how to study. I was like this myself to a lesser extent and got a shock at university when I actually needed to work.

I've tried her on music lessons to use her extra brain power but she just won't listen or practice.

She's also very good at anything physical (god knows where she gets it from!) so doesn't have to try there either. Also all sports classes are shut at the moment.

Any advice as I'm starting to stress about her a bit now I'm seeing it every day in lockdown learning.

Sorry not meant to be a stealth boast, I'm genuinely worried about how it will hit her once she is out of her depth.

They set her harder work but she refuses to do it.

Maybe she can't do it easily and therefore this is the answer to your question. She need to learn to do as she is told in school even if she isn't finding it straight forward.

How does a 2 year old teach themself to read?!

It was hyperlexia that was the trigger for my DD being diagnosed as autistic. It also meant a while range of additional schooling was opened up to keep her interest and stretch her which it sounds like your DD’s school is failing to do for her.

@Pearlwindow

How does a 2 year old teach themself to read?!

One would love to know... I agree that the OP's child probably doesn't find it that easy, hence she doesn't push herself for harder questions.

She needs to learn social/interpersonal skills. You can't refuse to do what a teacher asks you to do. Maybe start teaching her about things like that. How is she with getting something wrong? Does she take it very hard. Can she take turns and lose at board games without having a tantrum?

How does a 2 year old teach themself to read?!

I was reading at 3. My brother was a year older and I just absorbed what he was learning at school. My own ds was a competent reader also by the age of 4.

@nimbuscloud

How does a 2 year old teach themself to read?!

I was reading at 3. My brother was a year older and I just absorbed what he was learning at school. My own ds was a competent reader also by the age of 4.

Maybe so but that’s not quite the same as a 2 year old teaching themself to read

I agree with bunnybigears, show her that social skills and doing as she’s told by her teacher matter more than being “right.”

Does she see you try things, fail, try again etc? I think modelling resilience helps a lot, and finding really good extra curricular activities where they will encourage and challenge her is also really helpful, once lockdown is over.

In a way, it doesn’t matter what activity, but you need an excellent leader who is firm and understands and likes children but (for want of a better expression) won’t take any shit.

My Ds was the same.

It didn't last. He's now an average 18
Year old.

My Dd is the same. She is 6. She is
In year 2 but doing year 4/5 work. Same as Ds was.

They all even out. Maybe she won't and will be a genius. Time will tell.

All I can do is stretch her leaning (as I did with Ds).

The baby is 5 months and likes blowing farts.
I'm far more relaxed with this one.

Finding everything easy but refusing work because it's too hard?

They should give her the 'trickier' work as her actual work. She shouldn't be doing maths that she finds so easy that she never has to try as her standard maths.

Absolutely no idea how she taught herself to read. I didn't teach her the letters. She's one of four so I haven't got the energy to hot house anyone.

She doesn't mind losing board games, she's had a lot of practice as one of four.

I have been slightly concerned about her being on the spectrum. She does play well with other children although as youngest in class she is still slightly less mature. She absolutely hates getting things wrong but I'm not sure if it's any more than others her age. Maybe it is. She does repeat sounds to herself but that might be age related.

Is it that she's scared to try because she's scared to fail? Maybe I'm neglecting her too much. I'll talk to her about listening the teacher but they are making it clear that it's optional extra work, and she can see nobody else is doing it.

She needs help with a growth mindset - try the books like ‘you are awesome’.

but they are making it clear that it's optional extra work, and she can see nobody else is doing it.

This sounds like the problem, the stretching work should be her work. Our school take children from their year and put them in higher years for maths if thats the level they are working at. We had a year 4 student having lessons with the local University at one point.

I agree with poster up the thread, she needs work that's a higher level set for her initially not as an optional extra. Also is she fed up at school? Bored? Or enjoying it? If the latter then as she's only in year two let her enjoy being too of the class for a while, especially given the circumstances.

I hate that so often 'differentiation' means having to do a load of work that is too easy for you, then being given more and harder work as your reward.

Agree with PP, your DD should be getting the work that challenges her straight away as the only option. Wouldn't anyone want to stop when they'd done the same amount as everybody else?

Does she see you try things, fail, try again etc? I think modelling resilience helps a lot, and finding really good extra curricular activities where they will encourage and challenge her is also really helpful, once lockdown is over.

Thanks I like this - im going to start doing something out of my comfort zone every day and make sure she’s around to see it

My Ds was the same.
It didn't last. He's now an average 18
Year old.

Whether it lasts or not, she needs to start applying herself, because if she turns out average she’s going to need to know how to try like the rest of us

They should give her the 'trickier' work as her actual work. She shouldn't be doing maths that she finds so easy that she never has to try as her standard maths.

Thanks I’ll message the teacher. They’ve started setting an extra maths task as a challenge after the main work and if I present it as part of the main work she’s happy to do it. I’m googling spellings etc from the year above and not telling her. In lockdown 1 when it was just printable worksheets I was printing the year above and she was doing that but now we’re doing online learning and I can’t see what others are doing.

Sorry I'm on mobile and can't quote 3 people at once I don't think

What was her maths today?

This was our year two maths.
https://vimeo.com/498262138
https://resources.whiterosemaths.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Y2-Spring-Block-1-WO5-Divide-by-5-2019.pdf

A 2 year old taught themselves to read?!?

[quote SavoyCabbage]What was her maths today?

This was our year two maths.
https://vimeo.com/498262138
https://resources.whiterosemaths.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Y2-Spring-Block-1-WO5-Divide-by-5-2019.pdf[/quote]
This was also my dd year 2 maths today !

My dd was similar OP, particularly with reading. She was actually diagnosed with a processing disorder in year 10. She could memories anything, maths, English, reading, facts etc. But couldn't cope with things she hadn't been taught including sounding out simple nonsense words. As she got through to year 5 or 6 she struggled to complete assessments mainly because she couldn't process the information quickly enough under timed conditions.

It also made her reluctant to try new things or push herself as she knew expectations were very high and she was hard on herself as well. Once she was diagnosed she got extra time in exams and extra support as well which made the world of difference.

Ds was three, he just saw the associations between speech and text and went from there, we didn't formally teach him, he just got it. He does hate having to do more work than others, and when he was younger he would get upset that the teachers didn't realise that he already knew how to do something and in his eyes were trying to get him to do it again. We have used physical challenges to encourage him to persevere, as it is an important lesson. Is there anything that she does find difficult?

You might also want to post/ get this moved to the gifted and talented board.

My DD also sounds similar in terms of teaching herself to read before school and finding everything easy including any sport she tries and learning piano. As well as work to stretch her, I’ve just been giving her different challenges, she’s not that confident on zooms for example so try to get her to speak up, to really practise and learn some skateboard tricks, cook ‘by herself’ from recipes, other non academic challenges that help her focus on learning and working to achieve something.

I was a right annoying little swot as a kid. I was moved up a year and everyone else would get 'page 34 & 35 of the maths book' for homework, whereas I would get 'page 34+' and do ten pages.

It evened out a lot though when I went to a grammar secondary, and everyone was bright. I had to actually work and I wasn't used to it at all. Hardly ever did homework, was in and out of detention for not doing it, and this straight A student hard to work hard to get a B all of a sudden.

You're right to tackle this early on. My brother was the same (even brighter) and really struggled in later school and at uni. Anything that required actual effort we just baulked at. It's taken a long time for me to learn to apply true grit.

Like your DD, I hated getting things wrong. Can you continue to supplement her learning with more advanced stuff and sneak it by her or would the online lockdown learning set up make that difficult?