If you previously used food to 'self-soothe' and don't anymore....

[simmeringexistentialdread]

What are the alternatives that worked for you?

I've been veery overweight for most of my life. I eat too much junk food..cake, crisps chocolate etc.

I have always turned to food when I need to feel better quickly, for whatever reason. It provides instant dopamine release i.e. instant pleasure.

I work daily in a very busy, v emotionally charged and v stressful job. The main thing that gets me through the day is looking forward to vegging out on the sofa with junk food. It's something to 'look forward to'. I sometimes spend the whole day trying to decide what I'll binge on

I leave work highly charged, ruminating over things at work etc, and food is the main thing guaranteed to take my mind off it.

Now, I know conventional advice is to look for alternatives...exercise, reading a book, picking up the phone to call a friend...surely it's easy to see why one would choose effortless munching of food to all the above??

So my question is, if you previously used to turn to food for instant gratification, how did you change? What alternatives actually worked for you? How did you change your mindset? How do you recover from a stressful day?

Following as I'd love to know the answer to this

I’d recommend the book Atomic Habits. I listened to a podcast with the author and a lot of what he said made sense!

I’m exactly the same as you and I’m a very emotional eater. It’s a habit that needs to be broken - is there anything else you could do to replace the dopamine rush that binging gives you? Is there anything healthier/different that you could replace it with?

It’s something that I myself have only just started to think about and I’m a long way off being perfect, but I’ve already started by not keeping much chocolate in the house. If I do buy some, I keep it hidden somewhere (like my wardrobe) right on the top shelf where it isn’t within easy reach. It’s an effort to get it and it has already helped me to stop binging quite so much.

I find sitting under a blanket with a cuppa helps. Especially if reading a good book or watching a good show.

I'm waiting for the answer too. Taking 10 mins to meditate or go for a walk on your own isn't feasible with young children.

Honestly the only thing that helps me is intermittent fasting. I have a timer on my phone and I only let myself have black coffee and water until the timer beeps. I fast for at least 20 hours, and keep my eating window 4 hours or less. I don't have to make choices about good/bad food, I'm simply Not Eating.

A side effect is that when you DO start eating, coming off a fast means you often want to make better food choices - the cake and chocolate just isn't as appealing as it would be mid-morning when work is stressful and you want comfort.

And even if you go a bit mad and binge, it's only for a few hours a day and there's only so much you can cram in especially when you are craving a proper meal over cake and chocolate. That's still better than constantly thinking about food and snacking during all of your waking hours.

Sounds dysfunctional I know, but intermittent fasting (not eating regularly from waking to going to bed) is our evolutionary norm and as adults it does us no harm and potentially quite a bit of good to fast regularly.

OA

It's a bit like any addiction you have to ride out the pang to eat. It does subside and the more you do it the better it is.

I've not found a "cure" but I've found a solution. For me, I factor something into my day - e.g. Friday night after work is a bar of chocolate. I know it's coming, I can wait for it. Other times, a lot of it is about texture rather than the actual food, so I can replicate that with something else e.g. instead of eating packets and packets of crisps, I can swap that crunchy texture for an apple or something because it's not the actual crisps I want, it's the crunch. .

The biggest thing for me though is to not allow myself to get hungry. If I snack when I'm hungry it's a very fast downward spiral. I have 3 meals and snacks in between, pre planned so I'm not having to think about food whilst hungry

I'm beginning to over come this (hopefully) and have been reasonably successful for three months. Firstly I buy stuff which I could binge on but (at a stretch) is a bit healthier. So for example : I would have bananas, some nuts, raisins, blueberries yoghurt. Whilst the calorie count isn't exactly low, in my head it's not the end of the world because they're all reasonably healthy items. Plus I find them filling. Ditto granola (again, very carby but it's not chocolate). Or I have porridge (which I am rarely able to finish). I also take a photo of everything I eat. I did this because I was anticipating my doctor asking me and I wanted to show them my diet. This slightly forced me not only to make it look nice but to ensure it was...socially acceptable?! I could justify it all.
Once I got on a streak with it, I didn't want to break the streak.

Once I got on a streak with it, I didn't want to break the streak

This is the biggest motivator for me I find.

Thanks for your replies everyone. There are clearly no easy answers.
The book 'brain over binge' has helped me the most to sort of see it as a terrible, vestigial habit that just needs to be broken.
It's still so hard to apply it though.
I just can't deny that eating delicious food is the most effortless way to feel better, the quickest!
Every suggestion....e.g meditation like a previous pp said, just rings so empty!
I give up.

Two separate goals, theres replacing/recreating it and then theres stopping it. You have to pick.

I could not recreate the same enjoyment, I don't know if its possible without descending into alcoholism or hard drugs!

However, I broke the habit, but it was miserable and is still quite tough when highly stressed. Main thing was I drank loads and loads of water/squash. I mean 4-5 litres a day, had to drink a litre before eating and that way I never could stomach much food.

Also, came home and did not sit down. Wrote a to do list each day, so instead of sitting down and having my beloved take away or chocolate, I would clean the stairs, sew the buttons on school shirts, paint my nails, back up my laptop etc. Anything, that wasn't slobbing.

Then probably about 10/11pm, I'd finally stop, drink another litre, and let myself have a little treat. Spoonful of peanut butter, Freddo. I've now upgraded this to posh chocs, and I find although I now do relax and do very little after work I'm happy just having my little snack and thats it.

It really wasn't fun, and I still do occasionally think fuck it and have a real pig out, but generally eating far less has shrunk my appetite and I can't manage what I used to.

I found Noom really really worked for me. It is about changing habits not a diet.

Sewing and knitting. Keeps your hands busy and incompatible with food for me

Counselling for the stuff I was trying to stuff away out of sight.

Exercising regularly and taking up a physical hobby to change my relationship with my body.

Daily diary to improve my ability to name my feelings and address them.

Catching myself when I felt like a binge to ask myself - what am I feeling? What do I actually need here?

It's still hard.