How much do you do with your primary aged kids?

[TheresAnEyeInMeSoup]

Hey all,

I have two kids, 5 and 8.
5 year old started reception class in september. Over the past few months, I've realised parenting or at least the hard bits have got easier. The kids will play happily (though sometimes not) with each other or go on their tablets or watch tv.

They are being home schooled at the mo by their dad as I still have to work. I've noticed weekends are much easier at home than when they were younger, and it has got me feeling..... at a loss.

Obviously babies/pre schoolers are very dependent. Its suddenly hit me that they arent as dependant on me as they once were and the youngest starting school has accelerated this.

I always longed for the moments where I can have a moments peace and now I actually get that. But I'm worried I don't do enough with them. At the same time I dont want to helicopter parent.

A typical weekend day for example, I make their breakfasts, let them have a bath and get dressed etc. I crack on with chores, but after that I kind of just chill out. They will entertain themselves. I get them to someone reading and have a go at some of the maths websites that school want them to use. We went out and played in the snow at the front of the house yesterday. But after that they came back in and watched tv/ did their own thing.

Pre-covid, we would go out the park, on bike rides, swimming, into town etc. But I think I just feel lost at the minute like I should be doing more.

Just wondering how much you do with your primary aged kids. The preschool years have passed by in a blur of nappies and potties and being bounced upon my knee etc. and now I'm like.... o....k..... what do we do now? It really has only crept up on me how easy everything has become and I guess I'm not used to it.

What do you do and how much is too much or not enough?? Sorry that was long.

Get them to do some reading*

I have a reception child and we do lots of things together. Art and craft projects, den building, playing with his toys together, cooking, science experiments, gardening... Look on Pinterest if you need inspiration for 'activities for 5 year olds'. Ditto for 8 year olds! Plan for one activity per weekend day and see where you go from there?

Great suggestions feather. This I have built a boat out of cardboard boxes with them and they have painted it

I honestly think it is because parenting feels.... different now and so much easier than say, even 12 months ago. I do things with them but I don't feel I need eyes in the back of my head any more and it feels like a big shift.

This weekend*

I think it's really important to let them make their own amusement and learn to be bored tbh. Sounds like you're doing plenty to me! I know it's hard and mum guilt can be a terrible thing.

I don't know if this is helpful as I am slightly behind you- DD is 5 and my oldest, I have a preschooler and a baby so her schoolwork has to be done around their routines.
But we do school registration at 9:30, then a set activity or some schoolwork until about 10:30. Then she can go and play, then we have some TV time before lunch. After lunch is essentially repeat until tea, and if she wants to she can do more schoolwork before bed.
So she does a fair amount but it's very spread out and dependant on how she's feeling or if we have other plans. Sometimes a long walk, an activity we would all like to do like baking or a big craft or if she is in the middle of something with her brother, means we skip a bit of schoolwork. I don't see the point in forcing her as she currently enjoys her lessons and I think that would really ruin her enthusiasm for it.

I agree they need to learn to be bored, but as soon as one (usually the eldest) starts moaning "I'm booorrrrrreddd" I feel like I should be doing more. I usually just tell him to go read a book when that happens though.

I just have one so I fill the role of playmate, with more screen time than ideal doing the rest. As an example today I played dinosaurs for a bit, played minecraft and did a youtube drawing tutorial together. All of that stuff would probably be done by a sibling in your house. I guess if you miss it then get involved. It's a balance isnt it, I'd love to skip some of the less appealing play!

The screen time bugs me. I have limited their tablet use but it causes havoc with the 5year old when it times out and he is in the middle of a game. To my mind, they need to be off and doing things but it is hard with covid. We go for walks when we can. I just don't have a feel for if what I'm doing is enough, or enough of the 'right' things.

I'm bored is basically a child volunteering for a job. My youngest really enjoys using the mini hoover so it hasn't stopped the whining entirely but at least I get clean stairs!

I make play dough or do baking with them. I just can't believe I've had a very pressurised bunch of years where everything felt hard and knackering to now what I would call 'chilled'. With work and then having weekends to fit all chores into, I've always felt under constant pressure to get stuff done. It's like the pressure has been lifted since youngest turned 5. I used to crave lie-ins at the weekend, and now I really don't, I'm nowhere near as knackered. I'm not really a morning person, but getting up and ready to start the day feels like a breeze these days as I get a full nights sleep now. I can also trust the kids to go downstairs in a morning and watch tv for a bit until I am up (they wake early).

I think if they seem happy then stop second guessing yourself!

Love, yep, I think getting them to do chores is a good thing and the next "I'm bored" that I hear will result in dc doing a job for me.

Sounds pretty similar to us (except we have a toddler too), we played some board games / watched a movie together / went to the park / played in the snow / watched a show they put on. Other than that they watched TV/ played switch/ did drawing and played together. They build dens / play schools or other weird child games. Dd who is 8 will read her book and listen to music, while ds who is 6 will play with legos or do drawing on their own. They sometimes play with the 2 year old. Sometimes we do craft - we did tie dye a couple of weekends ago or cooking with them but its all very chilled.

Mine are 8 & 9 and tbh I don't really do that much with them in that I don't feel that I have to entertain or play with them. Today for example, they got their own breakfasts at about 8 a.m., dh got up at 8.30 and went out at around 9.30. They watched TV whilst I stayed in bed until 10. They made their own lunch (sandwiches) and have played on Minecraft together for a couple of hours before watching YouTube for a while. I was in the room with them, reading and sewing, but they were happy to play without me. Of course I was there to chat to them and answer their questions etc and to monitor their online activities; I'm not a completely lax parent!

The only things I've really done with my children today are bake bread, play cards and tidy bedrooms.

I feel no guilt and am enjoying my relative freedom because I hated being constantly needed and on the go when my children were small.

The only things I've really done with my children today are bake bread, play cards and tidy bedrooms.

^

This is tons!

What I'm doing sounds fairly typical then. Board games are a big thing in our house. Snakes and ladders, ludo, junior scrabble, even monopoly though they dont really get the rules. Minecraft takes up their time. Plus they like jumping about in sleeping bags .

I think I must be doing ok, going off the responses here. I'm never quite sure of myself as a parent, whether I'm too lax or too full on. I find it hard to know where the balance is sometimes.

@grassisjeweled

The only things I've really done with my children today are bake bread, play cards and tidy bedrooms.

^

This is tons!

That sounds like my normal. Bar baking bread as I've never done that. We bake cakes though. Getting them to tidy their room is a battle too, but it gets done.

Its also important in these times not to be too anxious if at all possible, so don't beat yourself up for having a chilled time with them.

I'm an anxious person by default crampon though I'm very chilled out in personality. Internally I worry a lot. Am I doing enough? Are they learning things? Will they have good childhood memories? Will they always like me as they seem to now? They just don't seem to need me as much, its hit me that the youngest is at that point now. He is fiercely independent in personality and I spent so long encouraging that, I feel like its dawned on me he can do many things for himself and doesn't need to rely on me for stimulation as much.

@grassisjeweled

The only things I've really done with my children today are bake bread, play cards and tidy bedrooms.

^

This is tons!

Really? It doesn't feel like tonnes because it was probably an hour out of the whole day, two tops!

Op it's good that they're independent and I think it shows that you're doing a good job because they have the confidence to try things out for themselves knowing that they have you there for back-up should they need it. Our job as parents is to bring our children up so that they can entertain themselves, find things out for themselves and look after themselves when they have to live as independent, functioning adults.