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I just need a cry

11 replies

OhToBeASeahorse · 24/01/2021 19:10

I feel very close to the edge of losing it and I just need to write it down.

We have DS 2.4 and DD 3 months. I cant cope with being cried at at the level I I currently am. They are both so so full on. DD - will only nap in the sling and cosleeps on my arm. I hate it because I worry about safety but I need any sleep I can get. I'm sure she has silent reflux, dr says no, I'm so exhausted by constantly monitoring her symptoms and I think he thinks I'm a bit of a headcase. When she is alseep in the sling its anybody's guess what will wake her. Could be nothing or it could be me coughing it speaking. When she is awake she will tolerate being put down for a bit but not long

DS is a bright, emotional hurricane. Sometimes just has days where he will cry, hit, run away from me. He doesnt leave me alone for a minute and if he does he is doing something he shouldnt be. Trying to get out the house at the moment is like a military operation, wrestling wellies nonwhite keeping DD asleep. He's grown out of his winter wet weather gear and I cant find a replacement because everywhere is sold out. Today we did a zoom call with my family including my mum who is very mentally unwell. He was trying to get my dad's attention but dad wasnt listening. He must have said 'granddad look' about 30 times to no avail. In the end he got frustrated so he ran full force into the wall - cue obviously very bruised head and floods of tears.

Just done bathtime with them both crying. I just want to sob. Bravo if you got this far.

OP posts:
WashableVelvet · 24/01/2021 19:21

No advice. Only Cake. Take care. Parenting can be truly shit can’t it.

RJnomore1 · 24/01/2021 19:23

I know it doesn’t feel like it now but I promise it will pass.

Meantime whatever you need to get through is okn💐

Andthereiwas · 24/01/2021 19:32

I so remember those days. Do not have anyone that can help, even for an hour, so you can have time to yourself? Your mental health is at a low and this current lockdown can't be helping. Your partner should be taking some of the load surely Hmm

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OhToBeASeahorse · 24/01/2021 21:16

DH is doing loads (which makes me feel more useless). He gets up with DS in the morning and has breakfast with him so I dont have to wake DD. He usually does lunch too (he is WFH because of covid). He is working late nights etc to make up for the lost time. But at the moment DD wont settle for anyone else.

Just had an hour's crying session. I was going to try and watch something but fuck it, I might as well go to sleep.

OP posts:
Winter2019 · 24/01/2021 21:24

Maybe not a great advice but have a glass of wine... It can be so bloody frustrating, raising kids but this period will also pass. Few months even make such a difference

RippleEffects · 24/01/2021 21:56

You sound shatteted. When your tired its not a great time to judge yourself or be completely rational.

Doing any leaving the house with a tiny baby in winter (and a toddler) is hard work. Plus this damned pandemic stopping all those not insignificant touch points with friends, neighbours, wider family and any usual support network.

Sleep deprivation is a know form of torture and sleep deprivation feeling trapped in with two tinies is a whole extra level.

Soon the weather will start to warm, the outside will open up a little more making us all feel less trapped. Your DD will have gained a little more size and be able to sleep for longer periods.

OhToBeASeahorse · 26/01/2021 22:29

Yeah. I'm shattered. @Andthereiwas DH is great - he is taking our toddler to childcare and picking him up even tho he then has to work late to compensate which saves me from having to get both of them in

We've received a complaint from our neighbour today, apparently our toddler shouts and screams at 4am and has been doing so for months. Its completely freaked me out. We have a monitor on loud to keep an eye on him. He does wake early but just chats to himself. when he start shouting for us we go to him.

I feel like such a failure .

OP posts:
Duckswaddle · 26/01/2021 22:33

You’re doing great.

Your neighbour is an arsehole.

OhToBeASeahorse · 26/01/2021 22:38

I'm mortified. What if I haven't heard him? We've had to leave him a couple.of times when he has been upset - e.g..once inwas alone and had a screaming newborn,.I'd justnhot her settled on me and I knew DS would wake her. He was probably vocal for about 15 mins (thisnwas at 7pm). I felt terrible for doing it but I cant be in 2 places at once. But apparently he is affecting their whole family?!

It's absolutely floored me. What I thought was acceptable toddler hood clearly isnt. I'm just shit at this.

OP posts:
MintyCedric · 26/01/2021 22:45

You are not shit at anything...your neighbour is an unreasonable twat by the sounds of things.

Giving them a tiny before of the doubt...if you can move DSs cot as far from their adjoining wall as possible it might be worth it for your own peace of mind.

As for your DD...well, I'm in awe. Mine was a nightmare until about 4 months and if I'd had to cope with a lively toddler as well it would've killed me, never mind in a pandemic.

I can't give much advice on dealing with two as I didn't dare have a second Grin but take care of yourself and don't feel guilty about anything...you're doing your best in extraordinary times and whatever it takes to get you through and keep you sane is absolutely fine.

Flowers Cake

OhToBeASeahorse · 27/01/2021 10:46

Thank you. You made me cry Smile

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