I feel very close to the edge of losing it and I just need to write it down.
We have DS 2.4 and DD 3 months. I cant cope with being cried at at the level I I currently am. They are both so so full on. DD - will only nap in the sling and cosleeps on my arm. I hate it because I worry about safety but I need any sleep I can get. I'm sure she has silent reflux, dr says no, I'm so exhausted by constantly monitoring her symptoms and I think he thinks I'm a bit of a headcase. When she is alseep in the sling its anybody's guess what will wake her. Could be nothing or it could be me coughing it speaking. When she is awake she will tolerate being put down for a bit but not long
DS is a bright, emotional hurricane. Sometimes just has days where he will cry, hit, run away from me. He doesnt leave me alone for a minute and if he does he is doing something he shouldnt be. Trying to get out the house at the moment is like a military operation, wrestling wellies nonwhite keeping DD asleep. He's grown out of his winter wet weather gear and I cant find a replacement because everywhere is sold out. Today we did a zoom call with my family including my mum who is very mentally unwell. He was trying to get my dad's attention but dad wasnt listening. He must have said 'granddad look' about 30 times to no avail. In the end he got frustrated so he ran full force into the wall - cue obviously very bruised head and floods of tears.
Just done bathtime with them both crying. I just want to sob. Bravo if you got this far.