Younger generations using too much tech

[Lifeisarollercoaster21]

The main argument with my teens is over phone use.
I restrict time and content and check regularly. I am apparently the strictest mum ever and none of their friends have to suffer this.
I still find transgressions and there are consequences but it's all very exhausting to monitor and deal with.

Most of my friends who have children also moan about the amount of arguments the tech causes and worry about the amount of time the kids are on it and what they're accessing.

So, why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we willingly pay for something that causes so much angst and worry?
Why do we buy them an xbox?
Why don't we buy them phones that are not smart phones if we want them to have one for security reasons?
Why give them a device that ultimately gives them access to unsuitable content, a constant stream of filtered images (Insta, Snapchat) cyberbullying, grooming?

I know it's so our child will not be seen as the odd one out so it's hard for one parent to say no.

Lobbyists managed to help parents by removing sweets from the checkout. I believe that the government should do the same with phones and social media. They need to increase the age limits on social media and regulate and ban anonymous apps like Yolo.

The film documentary Social Dilemma confirms everything you worry about. How algorithms are finely tuned to make you addicted. How teens have a warped view of themselves, how many of the founders of Google and other big media companies will not allow their own children to have access to social media. It says it all. I work in education and in the last decade, the mental health of our teens has declined dramatically with far too many self harming.

Does anyone know of a petition I can sign or a group who are lobbying parliament about it? I have found a couple of petitions with very few signatures. I can't understand why parents aren't more concerned.

I know the government are preoccupied right now but the mental health and safety of our children is surely worth fighting for.

Bumping with interest

A documentary isn't proof of anything.

We need more research into whether social media is impacting teens' mental health. The gov committed to pursuing this a few years back (maybe 2017) when they released a green paper about transforming children's mental health services, but I've never seen any research come out of this.

Personally I but my dc tech items because I think they will cause more harm than good - shared gaming has been a particular boon during lockdown as a way to have contact with friends.

To be honest I find parents just as addicted to their phones.

And parents addiction limits their responsiveness to their children. This impacts too. How can we limit them to adults?

Because it's that double edged sword? Yes, there's massive risks when opening children up to using tech, but there's also risks from actively placing them well behind their peers if we don't? A child that isn't able to use an ipad or tech as a teen/adult will be far further behind their peers that can down the line in regards to the future of learning and employment opportunity. I completely get folk who are anti tv/screens/phones in their household. But the reality is if someone applies for a job whose never even clapped eyes on anything beyond pen, paper and books then it's setting them upto be unemployable in the future. I believe the way forward is embracing tech but keeping well informed and on top of good security regarding content access.

@Wandavision

But that's the point. Children will not get left behind if there is a law stating that certain apps / social media need to be regulated. All children will be in the same boat. They will still have access to iPads PCs etc and pick up skills in a safe way.

I work very hard at keeping up to date with security and talking to my teen but teens are notorious at finding ways round and smart phones make it so easy for them.

You haven’t really stated what you think is too much use.

You seem to have an almost exclusively negative view of technology - I think before launching campaigns, you should read a bit more widely than just going on watching one documentary.

I think parents love to use this as a means of control.

Causing upset to all within the home which is sad

But that's the point. Children will not get left behind if there is a law stating that certain apps / social media need to be regulated.

And how will you regulate this and stop teens from going on certain websites, if your asking we have to sign onto the internet with full details then that is not going to fly anywhere in the world not only for privacy reasons but just for shere idiocy.

What you are wanting to do is effectively absovle yourself of any responsibility and put it onto the governments around the world.

I had a friend like this who a few years ago boasted about how they had locked down all sites at router level apart from Tumblr, I showed her all the porn on Tumblr and highlighted that can just go use open wifi hotspot across the road and visit any site they wanted to.

However social media as in and of itself, I agree there needs to be some kind of regulation brought in as we are just a social experiment on it there was a quote that i cant remeber who from but to paraphrase

We’ve all been enrolled in a psychological experiment for which non of us gave consent, with no clear outcome. It’s still not clear how it will turn out, but so far it’s not looking good. It’s fairly disorienting out there. All information is becoming weaponised. All communication is becoming performative. And on the most important topics, it now seems to be fury and sanctimony and bad faith almost all the time.

We appear to be driving ourselves crazy. Incapable of coming into contact with reality, unable to distinguish fact from fiction—and then becoming totally destabilised by our own powers of imagination, and confirmation bias, and then lashing out at one other on that basis alone.

Actually I completely agree OP - I see how addicted I am to my smartphone and i only got it in my twenties. I can see how it's impacted my concentration, relationships etc.

it terrifies me to think of what it is doing to children's developing brains.

Choosing a primary school for our DS we purposely didn't apply to one that kept emphasizing iPad use in classes. We figured he's going to get enough screen time as he grows older, he doesn't need it in the classroom too.

I've often thought about trying to find a school where all the parents group together and agree not to get their children phones. But seeing how divided people are over everything atm I doubt it could ever happen.

@pointythings

internet.addictionblog.org/technology-a-dangerous-addiction-for-teens/

I agree there are also benefits. Technology is amazing, used responsibly and in a mature way. I use technology in an educational setting every day.

@Justanotherlurker
No I don't want to absolve myself of my parenting duties but if they can regulate other things they deem harmful to people, like smoking in public or underage drinking, why can't they regulate social media?

The above article links to research on the dangers of addiction on the young developing mind.

That's a blog post. Not research or evidence.

Not that I dispute there is such a thing as Internet addiction - just that it's the providers' job to fix it or prevent it. You wouldn't ask Sainsburys to stop selling alcohol because you're an alcoholic, would you? It's up to parents to teach their children about the downsides of technology use. It's part of your job as a parent to equip your child for life as an adult.

@pointythings

There are links on the blog to research but I obviously can't verify them. Would love to read research that says it's ok in order to put my mind at rest. If you know of any, please link.

Shops don't sell alcohol to under 18s though as it's regulated as it has been deemed dangerous for young people. I just think more should be done. Jamie Oliver did a lot for child nutrition despite criticism about it being a parent's job. However, parents were powerless in the face of an ever increasing number of food products with increased sugar and fast food options making the task of giving healthier choices to children harder. Having healthier choices at school supports parents against the corporations who add more sugar to increase profits.

It is the same as social media. I am fully committed to guide my children through all aspects of the world we live in but do not think it's unreasonable to question regulations which would support parents.

My children have about several hours a day on tech. Probably about average in terms of their friends' use. They leave it down stairs at night at bed time and I am amazed that messaged are pinging through from friends into the early hours. I often wonder if parents accept this or are oblivious. Teens need between 8-10 hours sleep a night. How can this lack of sleep not affect their school work/mood/ mental health. Teens wouldn't be so tempted if social media wasn't so readily available.

Thing is though, when they're 18 and go off to uni/start work, it's no longer in your control. And at that point their brains are not yet fully mature. There comes a point where as a parent you have to trust that you've done your job, and if it doesn't turn out right you have to let them take responsibility for that.

What regulation would you put on tech/social media companies? A curfew? A maximum allocation of user time per 24 hour period? Those things would be impossible to implement without some really heavy-handed tactics which would be illegal in terms of civil liberties. Same for age verification - tech companies already hold an enormous amount of data on us, so are you going to give them all the data they need to verify someone's age? Again, huge privacy issues.

Lastly, what proportion of teens actually become addicted to technology and how does that compare to the proportion of people who become addicted to other things? I've lived in close quarters with an addict (alcoholic husband) and if you'd told me when I married him that he was going to end up one, I'd have laughed at you. We have to accept that some things can't be predicted and can't be shielded against. Yes, Internet addiction is absolutely a thing, but I find it hard to believe that it's so much worse than alcoholism, gambling or drug addiction that we need to hand over our lives to tech companies to prevent it.