Going from 2 to 3 children

[Northernbeachbum]

Sorry probably the wrong topic but I want this to disappear

How did you decide to go from 2-3 children?

Going from 1 to 2 was a given for us but this decision seems harder. The cost difference seems vast in comparison and I worry about the ethics of having more than just replacing ourselves. However, I would love one more, i look into our future and see 3 or 4 children

How do you make this decision? I'm tempted to leave it to fate and put a date on it

Fate decided.
Yes a big change
You don’t fit nicely into a hotel room, it can be a bit of a squash in a normal sized car
People are often quite happy to mind one child for you.
A sort of okay on two
Three..they’re going to be a bit busy that day.

It’s a lot of added expense..but I’m glad fate decided.

My third child has given me three fabulous grandchildren that I wouldn’t swap for the world.

It was a big change for us. Our elder two were 6 and almost 4 so out of the baby stage and at school and nursery. It was a struggle to deal with a fussy baby all night then have to do school runs, homework, play dates and all of that. Like pp said you're too many for a hotel room now and need a bigger car. Family tickets for anything are for families of 4 so always have to buy one extra ticket.

But I don't regret it. I think having siblings is a wonderful thing and the children all love each other (even when trying to kill each other).

It does feel like a bigger change than going 1 to 2 but generally I think siblings are a gift to children (obviously they won't necessarily get on and I would never force that if they didn't)

Maybe fate is the answer. Thank you for your thoughts!

We decided the opposite and stuck at 2. Very happy we did they are the same sex and get on and like what we like so we have a lovely easy family dynamic. Also done a lot of traveling together and family activities that would have been more difficult with 3. I was one of 3 myself and love my siblings but don’t actually think it’s a great dynamic one gets left out.

Now they early mid teen very glad there’s only two of them lovely as they are! Paying for university less of a stress too

We went from 1 child to 3 when our twins were born. The plan was to just have 2 children. Not sure if it's a twin thing, but 3 are more mentally demanding as if they all want help in different ways at least one will always have to wait.

My new phrase once the twins were born was ' hold on a minute I'll just see to ..'

On a plus side they get on great ( mostly) and are lovely company for one another.

We had two close together and then a third with a four year gap. The third has been the easiest--she just slots in and the big ones are so helpful. We already had a seven seater car and will be trying to move this year as I have a step son too so could do with a 4 bed house. We've enjoyed our third so much we are even thinking of a fourth....

Number 3 was a surprise (I had the coil!) And we were quite worried and also debated the ethics of overpopulating the planet.
I would have happily stuck at 2 and that was always our plan and I think a lot of things are easier with a family of 4. However in practice i found 2-3 so much easier than 1-2. Number 3 has slotted in well and his big sisters love him!. We still just about fit into a normal car and we holiday in or own caravan which was already big enough. We have a 4 year gap so are only paying one set of nursery fees which is obviously still a big expense on top of wrap around care for the older ones, but its achievable for us (and it's a short term problem). Going out will become a lot more expensive (once we are allowed) but we will probably just do it less.
My DD2 is a worse sleeper, at 5, than her baby brother. Noone except my SiL would ever take her for a sleepover anyway, and I'm sure she will take all 3 once restrictions allow (because she is either a saint or a crazy lady!).

Also stopped at 2, so glad we did. Briefly considered it but decided against for all the usual reasons. Don't really understand the need for more.

2 to 3 felt easier for me than 1 to 2. My number three was a very easy baby and child. A bigger car suited our lifestyle better anyway so that was a non issue. We have shared bedrooms now but currently mine love that and I hope that when they are bigger we have the finances to move or extend a bit. Money was tight for us anyway and I was used to having to work a lot (for myself)..so didn’t feel massively different. However if I would have had another one of my little rascal son (who I love to pieces but isn’t the doddle that number three is - then I think things would have been much more challenging for us x

Accidental third baby here - it's been hard but I love it!!

So nice to hear some positive stories. We have discussed a third for years and I am now 7 weeks pregnant. So many of the limitations don’t actually few too restrictive for us. We have 5 & 8 year olds. Although I am anxious about going back to sleepless nights and getting up for school runs DH will be WFH long-term. We have planning a loft-conversion for a few years and need a new car anyway, so those accommodations heavenly been too difficult. We also typically holiday in cottages or camping, so again, hoping it’ll all still be possible.
(I’ll come back when I’m knee deep in nappies and sleep deprived 😆)