Thoughtful gift for muslim friend?

[Psuedoshoes]

There's a colleague at work who I've never met, but through work phonecalls and emails we've become close and I consider her a friend. She's had an awful awful time of late and I want to send her a thoughtful gift just to remind her I'm thinking of her. She is a proud Muslim and I want the gift to represent her culture - normally I'd send flowers to friends but I hear they're not a popular 'thinking of you' gift in Muslim culture!

Apologies if I sound completely ignorant here - I've not had close Muslim friends before, purely because the area I live in is the least culturally diverse area you could imagine (yes, it's as bad as it sounds!) - I really just want a gift that says I'm thinking of her but also something that reflects her culture that she is proud of.

You're overthinking this. She is not a Muslim friend, she is a friend who is Muslim. You can send her the same flowers, or a nice candle, that you would any other friend

Flowers are totally fine!

I do have a habit of overthinking to the nth degree to be fair

A lot of people from different faiths are proud of their culture/heritage/values. I don't think you should give her something accurate to her religion as that might come across as 'weird'. A prayer mat or a religious wall hanging would seem strange to give to a colleague you've only spoken to through work phone calls. I think flowers are a universal way of saying 'thinking of you'/'thank you'/'sorry for your loss' etc

Just don't think a Muslim woman or man would appreciate flowers any less than for example a Christian or a Hindu woman or man =)

Is this a joke?

I didn't mean a prayer mat or the likes, just a gift that would have some representation of her culture also.

Yes warrior, all a joke obvs

We love receiving all the same type of gifts as everyone else!

I love flowers...cards....candles etc.
We were once gifted a beautiful fortnum and mason hamper but unfortunately almost everything had either alcohol or animal products - did make me scratch my head a bit. But still appreciated the gesture.

Anyway as other said earlier - you're overthinking it.

Thanks Dia 😊

Put it this way - if you had a Catholic friend, do you think she'd like a signed photo of the Pope, a bottle of Lourdes water -
or a bunch of flowers?
You do sound a bit, "Look at me - I'm so diverse, I'm friends with a Muslim!"

Whilst you don't need to get something specific to her culture, I would just be aware of their restrictions and don't get anything she can't use (I know you won't straight out give her bacon but some sweets may have gelatine in them etc)

Just think of her as a person with likes and dislikes and get her something she'll like that she can actually use, I'm sure she'll appreciate it x

Yeah I'd be happy with flowers, cards, candles or chocolate (make sure no alcohol or gelatine in though, so suitable for vegetarians) Anything else would be a bit much I think!

I get the Muslim member of staff a bottle of Violet Gin at Christmas. It’s her absolute favourite.

Aww that's so sweet @Psuedoshoes

Flowers are totally fine! The fact that you send those is also huge, I am sure she would be so touched by your gesture with flowers too as anyone else would!

My dds best friend is a Muslim........we recently sent these which went down a storm.

cutterandsquidge.com/products/nut-free-mixed-brownie-selection-box?variant=35070844240024&gclid=CjwKCAiA6aSABhApEiwA6Cbm_2mP-eT88h9bJPdVry3NgtkGz7ppEhco5VW4SfxhZ7aziikIKQidQRoCH6IQAvD_BwE#

Just get the same sort of thing you'd buy for any other friend. Some nice edibles, or smellies (( vegan is always a safe bet )) or a book you think she'd like.

Islam is a faith, not a culture in itself. Muslims come from so many different cultures given that it pretty much spans the planet. A Sudanese Muslim will have very different culture to a British Muslim or a Indonesian Muslim. Surely you can work that out OP?

I'm confident that flowers are not seen negatively in any of them though. I bloody love getting flowers.

I think you're trying to hard and too focused on her religion. I have a close Muslim friend and have learnt over the past few years that she is into most of the same stuff as me (that's why we are friends!). What is your friends into? Is she a girly girl and would like some jewellery for example? You do need to think through some ideas however as perfume for example won't be suitable. Is she into reading and would like a book? Maybe a cookbook if she's into cooking?

Oh give over katy thats not what I was going for at all. I've served in multiple places with people all around the world. I was just trying not to be an ignorant cow, and have admitted i do overthink everything at the minute. If you search my previous threads you'll see I'm suffering with severe depression, of which overthinking is often a symptom. Hope it made you feel better to get that little dig in though 👌

Thanks everyone for the helpful suggestions, I'm going to send flowers

Flowers will be lovely

Surely you can work that out OP? no shit sherlock

I always find it funny that when someone professes they are religious and follow a particular faith other than Christianity, then for some reason their faith becomes the biggest part of their personality. Would you give a devout Catholic something Pope-related as a gift?

She’s a normal human being who will like flowers or chocolates as much as anyone else. Just avoid alcohol!

Calm it down a little guy's =)
If you read through, she's mentioned that she's over thought a bit too much due to her condition. Doesn't take a lot to be kind.

@Psuedoshoes, you're being so thoughtful and that's very kind of you x

@PodgeBod

You're overthinking this. She is not a Muslim friend, she is a friend who is Muslim. You can send her the same flowers, or a nice candle, that you would any other friend

This

@Psuedoshoes I think it's lovely you are still thinking of your friend whilst you yourself are depressed.

I don't think your overthinking at all. I think it's great asking for advice. I wouldn't know what to get either. Kids give out haribo type sweets at school on birthdays at school and only recently learned from my friend that they aren't appropriate for veggies. We can't all be perfect all the time, asking for help is how we learn and improve. A gift is supposed to be thoughtful and appropriate OP is trying to deliver that

I wouldn't use th word culture. A lot of culture actually goes against Islam. Just thought I'd point that out as it seems like you're a person open to learning about others. But yes being a Muslim, for many is about the 24/7 identity and not limited to a specific day or time or place.

Like someone said above, she's a person like anyone else so would like normal everyday things but you noticed she is proud of her faith but I wouldn't advise buying a Qur'an or something as she probably has many.

I'd get a nice looking book like this
www.amazon.co.uk/Title-Reflections-Pearls-Concise-Comprehensive/dp/0972835857?tag=mumsnetforu03-21
as it's practical too or this one is beautiful but small but that's a bonus too as it means you can carry it around with you:

www.amazon.co.uk/Salat-Salam-Praise-Allahs-Beloved/dp/B0014JNCLA/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?dchild=1&s=books&text=Abdur+Rahman+ibn+Yusuf+Mangera&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1611367888&refinements=p_27%3AAbdur+Rahman+ibn+Yusuf+Mangera&sr=1-2
You can find these on non Amazon sites.

This website has free delivery on a £10 spend. You can probably find the above books and then a nice incense stick set (£1.50) or something
www.theislamicestablishment.com