Lockdown help

[Catcrazy008]

I am a stay at home mum.
12 year old and 6 year old. My partner is working.
Finding this lockdown really hard. I feel like there is no end in sight!
Please could you give me advice, help or tips to make it more bearable? Trying to hold it together for the children but finding it difficult not to 😢.
I have had depression in the past, I am not depressed at present, just in a fed up state.

Anybody?

It's difficult to give tips really. Is there anything specific you're struggling with?

Get outside as a family - look at geocaching maybe to engage the kids in a walk.

I am bored and fed up with absolutely everything right now though! You are not alone.

I am struggling that I am stuck at home, no time on my own.
Kids calling for me in the shower even!
Is there a website you recommend for geocaching?

@SoupDragon thanks for the support. So nice to know I am not the only one feeling like this.

I don't think there's anyone who is finding this easy... I've made an effort to call friends this week, and all but one have said that they're in awe that I'm coping with this fine... I'm not. It feels relentless and miserable and I'm just as fed up as everyone else, to be honest. I'm just putting one foot in front of the other and getting through one day at a time.

If you've got home-schooling to work around, that gives you a bit of structure. Fit in other things around it, but keep it light so you can react to what you feel like doing on the day, or what you need to do. If you're climbing the walls with boredom, wrap up and get outside for a nature walk. If you've got concentration, watch something educational, paint, do a drawing challenge. Cooking helps me keep my mind busy in a sort-of ordered way. Download apps and try out yoga, a language, a new game.

A day at a time, and ignore anything that's talking about how long this will last or what comes next. I'm usually the first person to know any potential news, but it doesn't help right now... half of it is rumour, and the other half you can't do anything about, so just ignore it. There's a happy line when you can get yourself taking it day-by-day, without any big expectations or hope about when it'll change. It protects you from the almost constant gut punches of another month in lockdown, another restriction, etc.

Keep going. It's trite but it's all you can do.

I know what you mean about no time on your own - I'm struggling with that too. My DCs are much older, so at least not dependent on me, but everyone seems to take it turns to make sure I'm not on my own!

There is a central site for Geocaching that explains what it is etc. I use the app c:geo on my phone for when actually out looking for caches. My DCs used to enjoy it - like a treasure hunt with tech.

Www.geocaching.com

My kids always used to be up for "treasure hunting" rather than "let's go for a walk". Now it's just me and the dog!

@SendMeHome, thank you for your advice.
One day at a time seems the way to go.
It’s so difficult, I would feel happier if there was an end date. I agree watching too much news is not a good thing, like you say half of it is speculation or rumours.
I have been put off calling friends as I feel so negative

Rather than searching for hope in the sense of an end to lockdown/the pandemic, try just looking for something hopeful in each day. Even if it's just looking forward to having your favourite food for dinner.

Spending too much time in the future worrying about when the pandemic will end is just going to make you feel worse - it's unknown, out of you control, and hasn't happened yet.

Come back to the present and try to stay there.

Have you tried instituting a 30/45 minute 'quiet time/rest time' for all of you in the afternoon/evening/whenever works in your current routine? So both children and you each have that time alone in your own space occupying yourselves with a quiet one-person activity. A 6 and 12 year old are old enough to cope with that (albeit you might have to keep sending them back to their room/space or sshing them a bit the first few times...).

They need some down time as much as you do.

I feel for my children and worry that I am doing ok by them.
It’s just not normal living in each other’s pocket so much.
My 12 year old can speak on the phone and play with his friends on his Xbox.
My daughter feels lonely and misses her friends and sees that some of her friends at school in online lessons, she wants to be at school with them.

Mine are older, but I think you can still do this:

Tell them if you close your bedroom door they only disturb you in an absolute emergency the house is burning down or they've lost a limb level. Give yourself half an hour of doing nothing.

Would your 12yo ride to the challenge of things like "children cook dinner"? So they have to decide what to cook beforehand, you get it with the shop, and they cook it and serve it between the pair of them. You can supervise by being there to answer questions, but you'll find if they do it a bit they need you less and less.

Make time for the dc separately. For the 6yo that might be taken them out to the park/on their scooter while the 12yo is working. The 12yo might enjoying playing games or watching a DVD together after the 6yo is in bed.

And on that, you can do board game afternoons, DVD nights and things like that. If you want to make them special have snacks/popcorn that sort of thing.

@Witchend a movie night sounds great 😀

Hi all
I have never been on here before and have this evening registered to try and speak to fellow parents experiencing what I am right now. I am certain I will find many and I'd like to state I am under no illusion that I'm the only one struggling with this issue.... from the thread I've read, this much is obvious. I think I'm just looking for pointers, suggestions and maybe just reassurance that I can make it through this god awful time.
So.... Here's my plight.......

I work part time (26 h/pw) as a compliance officer, have been WFH since march 20. My two boys are 7 (year 2) and 3 (preschool). My husband is newly self employed as a carpenter, he has worked 11 hour days since being SE. The first lockdown I fought tooth & nail to be furloughed (on the basis of childcare issues) and eventually was after 7 weeks. I returned to regular hours in August after my work refused to extend furlough until after the summer hols ended, so took 2 weeks leave and worked evenings and weekends until the autumn term started. My boys returned to school and preschool in June briefly then in September until Christmas. Then LD#3. I have tried for the first 2 weeks to juggle my 26 hours and home schooling and caring for my (just) 3 year old. To say I'm struggling is an understatement. Eldest doesn't want to do school work, he was highlighted as possibly having dyslexia before LD#1, but have since not had any assesments or conclusion on that, so I'm fretting no end about him falling behind or not getting the help he may need. I also want to maintain his learning so I don't allow him to fall further behind, like so many children his age are potentially at risk of doing right now.
Then there is my 3 year old..... The most adorable, gorgeous personality.... yet..... the most attention seeking, disruptive, stubborn, independent soul I've even encountered. He only started at preschool in Jan 20, hated it, screamed and complained the whole time. Finally adapted to it and then LD#1. We are currently toilet training and he's had struggles doing a no 2, I've tried many tactics and I think he's getting there. But now I found myself solo parenting for 11 hours a day, hone schooling a reluctant child, have another child who wants to sabotage any 1-1 time I have with the eldest, trying to work either 2 hours here and there, or in the evenings (there are no evenings, not when I've cooked for my husband and I, cleaned, prep'd for the next day) I'm done in by 9, read for 20 mins and am ready to sleep!
My youngest will not leave my side, for a wee, so I can cry for 5 mins, so I can prepare lunch, or hang the washing or generally scratch my ass! I make a point of spending time with him, to draw or watch TV (both of which he tires of in >1minute).
I simply cannot do this any longer, I can't manage my life the way I am, I cry at least once a day, shout at the kids to stop scrapping / shouting / slamming doors in each others faces / throwing things at each other/ not doing as they're told / arguing... crap need I go on??? I spend the 30 mins in bed berating myself for how poorly I've handled things throughout the day and hate myself for how I've damaged my kids with my terrible outbursts and for when I've shouted. I try to take each day at a time, baby steps & all that, but as the days go on things just boil over with their behaviour and my ineptness. I know everyone is on the same boat, I don't want to sound self pittying, but I simply cannot go on like this.
I want so much to piss off somewhere for 1 evening and not return for 24 hours just to reset my mind and my patience. The most important thing to me is my boys and their well-being but I'm just being torn in so many different directions I feel I'm failing at bloody everything right now. Plus, my boss is questioning my "productivity" I mean, really?????
So, so sorry for the enormous essay, it's almost therapeutical to write all this down, I know I'm not alone in this, but man, do I feel very much alone right now. Love and best wishes to you all xxxx

@Maggot81 I feel for you.
But I also think that your giving yourself a hard time and being to harsh on yourself.
You sound like your doing a grand job juggling many things.