The Red Dwarf theory of lockdown.

[Hollyhocksarenotmessy]

In Red Dwarf the computer brought back the most irritating person in the crew to keep Lister company, as the most psychologically helpful thing to survive in confined isolation.

Anyone else feel this is now their life?

I could kill DP over the way he serves dinner.

I love this theory!

An irritating person occupies your thoughts, rather than your brain being left to its own devices 😂

Tonight I mentioned making tentative plans to meet up with some friends in the summer. DH said how nice it would be to see some other people. Apparently my reply was a little too enthusiastic as he was rather offended

God yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes.

The combination of my nearest and dearest 24 hours a day has me currently climbing the walls, so yes!

I think it's the Despair Squid.

Yes!!!! At least my partner doesn't play learn esperanto whilst you sleep tapes!

My children were born to perform this psychological service function.

I remember the quarantine episode where Rimmer tried to kill the cat and lister.
I really empathise now!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hands up who is planning on drawing on a Sharpie H on their DP's forehead once he's asleep?

It might make tomorrow more interesting.

@TodgerStrunk

Hands up who is planning on drawing on a Sharpie H on their DP's forehead once he's asleep?

It might make tomorrow more interesting.

Ooh please do and report back.

He was pompously lecturing me about bumble bees earlier because Winterwatch was on. I have to start calling him Rimmer.

Ha ha we are trying to eke out the food until the next Tesco delivery, so it's Sprout Crumble tomorrow.

I have a cat who is a bit of a twat so this thread resonates with me

What’s wrong with the way your DP serves dinner ?
Mine uses a teaspoon to serve peas. No fucking joke.
it’s the first thing he grabbed apparently. We have a tiny kitchen, the serving spoons were literally centimetres away

@TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme

I have a cat who is a bit of a twat so this thread resonates with me

My cat is an utter arse hole.

Ooh please do and report back.

Oh that I could, but I wouldn't be able to access his forehead due to his massively long fringe. Obviously during the day he is awake and therefore constantly flicking it to one side like he's in Charlie's Fucking Angels, but at night it just festers on his face.

In this model, OP, you are a larger swilling lout who's only real friend is an incredibly irritating loser.

I think you should buy a roomba and call it Kryten.

I wouldn't be able to access his forehead due to his massively long fringe. Obviously during the day he is awake and therefore constantly flicking it to one side like he's in Charlie's Fucking Angels, but at night it just festers on his face.

Imac in his conditioner.

Yup. Only instead of Arnold J Rimmer BSc SSc you get a 6 year old who is making shouting into an artform and a 10 year old practicing to be a teenager. Id rather be stuck with Rimmer! I suppose hes not as huggable.....

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

I think it's the Despair Squid.

Indeed! 😂

I said exactly this to my husband yesterday! He didn't disagree 🤔

@BalloonSlayer

Ha ha we are trying to eke out the food until the next Tesco delivery, so it's Sprout Crumble tomorrow.

Not just me for whom this is a 'thing' then?

I couldnt get a delivery slot this week so theres no snacks (except crisps which are being rationed) and no bread unless DH decides to make some. We are fine until we run out of crisps.

We must not run out of crisps. It will be defcom 1. There might be fuck all left in but as long as we have crisps everything will be just fiiiinnne.

I would say we firmly reached Red Dwarf levels of stupidity in about the 4th week of lockdown one though.

Its become a thing to do the daftest things possible. I recommend building snowmen after midnight. Preferably in front of someone elses house.

Dh is doing my head in! All he does is bloody talk He loves a good rant too. I don't want to appear snippy and cut him off but please JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

Ah that felt better - sort of

@HemlockStarglimmer

I said exactly this to my husband yesterday! He didn't disagree 🤔

Ha, yes, we are also their Rimmer figure.

I’m currently re-watching Red Drawf and it is very appropriate for our current times. I’d like to get hold of a copy of Better Than Life which might occupy us for a bit.