I am always jealous

[Ilovesweets123]

I have two healthy girls, a 3 bedroom house (currently in the process of moving to a four bedroom house), a stable job and an amazing husband.
However, when anybody has any good news I immediately feel jealous. For example, my friend is buying a house as a renovation project and I am jealous that we have spent more on ours (as it is done up to a good standard). When someone has a pregnancy announcement I am jealous, even though I am struggling with my newborn and toddler. When someone has created something artistic, I am jealous.
I hate being this way and I wish I was just happy with what I have got, as I know i am extremely lucky to be where I am with what is going on in the world.
Maybe I am on social media too much and am comparing myself to everyone. Has anyone else felt this way?

It's to do with your self esteem
Yours is obviously very low, so you always need to feel "better than".
Social media is a bitch for people with low self esteem. Avoid it.

Try a bit of cognitive training
Practice paying people compliments on their achievements (in your head) followed by a compliment to yourself
Eg "I'm so pleased for you Sarah for X, and I'm proud of myself for Z aren't we great".

I don't think deep down you are a happy person if you feel like this. I often have pangs of the same and I wouldn't consider myself to be happy.

Honestly, come off social media. Best thing I ever did was delete Facebook .
But I understand this, I get it sometimes. The no legged man is jealous of the walking man, the walking man is jealous of the man on a bike, the man on a bike is jealous of the man in a car, the man in a car is jealous of the man in a plane..
Just humans. Thank God for what you do have just focus on your life.
Literally every human to some degree carries unhappiness

Are you jealous of the attention they're getting for their good news? Do you find you need validation from others?

I feel like even if I was unhappy I shouldn't be.i have healthy children and a roof over my head.
I don't know, maybe it's me being an attention seeker and wanting people to 'like' life events that I am going through.

OP do you think your envious or jealous? I think that the two are related but what you’re describing sounds more like envy than jealousy IMO.

But both feelings come from feeling inadequate - which can be totally normal and rectified. You sound like you have a lovely life, easier said than done at the moment but try to enjoy what you can and count your blessings, these feelings will pass in time.

And be kinder to yourself, you do deserve your life and happiness but things are shit at the moment and it’s ok to feel that life is crap despite having a home etc; Totally normal!

@demithemoore your message made me cry. I don't know why 😭
You are right, I need to just concentrate on what I do have.
I just hate that I never feel content and happy with what I have got.

I think there is a reason that we never feel content with things we have here on earth and it's because we don't belong here. We never feel at home because this isn't our forever home. Our forever home is in heaven.

I realise lots of people don't have this same belief. But even if you believe there is just nothingness at the end of this life on earth... That's what all our "stuff" ultimately will be... Nothingness.. So it will never satisfy us. We might think something that seems better will satisfy us, but it never does for that reason.

I would focus on what is the heart of the envy. Stay with the feeling. Envy is simply a desire in disguise. What is missing from your life? what do others have that make you realise you lack? Make a long list of all the people you're jealous of and then write next to them what it is you're jealous of, and then write what unsatisfied desire that jealousy represents. I've done this and the results were a little surprising. For example, I have passing phases of stabby envy for an old friend who made very different career choices to me. She is now very successful in a prominent role and I'm, well, not. When I looked deeper I realised I was envious of the social prestige she had that I lack. It helped a lot to see my envy in that way. It's like holding up a mirror to who I am. I no longer feel envious of her. Instead it is replaced with what I see as my own desire for social standing.

@Ilovesweets123

I am the same. I am constantly comparing what I have to what other people have and it really does make you feel like crap! I don't know why I do it, I have a nice life yet I am always jealous of others and what they have that I don't!

It's definitely something I would love to stop doing and I would agree that's it's related to low self esteem.

I am hoping once lockdown/restrictions end and some normality is restored, things might get better as all this definitely plays a part on mental health