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Original poster

Should I go with DD to hospital?

28 replies

Rockettrain · 20/01/2021 14:53

My DD is 2 and has a procedure at hospital next week. She will only be in during the day, not overnight, but she has to have general anaesthetic. When she wakes up she will be monitored for a few hours and if she's ok then we get to go home.

Because of Covid only 1 parent is allowed to accompany each child. At first I automatically assumed that I would go with her - although my DH spends a lot of time with her, she is still more comforted by me (will come to me if she is hurt or tired etc) and I can calm her down quicker if she gets upset.

But I'm 5 months pregnant and I also have an underlying condition that puts me at slightly increased risk of complications from Covid. It has only just occurred to me that going and spending an entire day inside a hospital might be risky and maybe DH should go with her instead. But then the other part of me thinks that if DH went, and he caught it in hospital, then he would be likely to pass it onto me at home anyway (before showing symptoms etc) so I would get it one way or another. I also can't bear the thought of my little girl being so upset with the needles etc and me not being there to comfort her. WWYD?

PS. I purposely didn't post this in the Covid topic area as I wasn't sure if it would attract a biased response?!

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 20/01/2021 14:55

Draw straws. I think your DD will be happy with whoever goes. Just don’t make her choose between you. That’s too much for a child who is probably anxious about the hospital to begin with.

AdditionalCharacter · 20/01/2021 14:55

I'd let your DH go as you've got more risk factors. He can wear the appropriate PPE and strip off at the door when he gets home. You can take over from there.

Hope the operation goes well 💐

Findahouse21 · 20/01/2021 14:55

I would go, couldn't face not being there tbh

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Pumpertrumper · 20/01/2021 14:58

I would go with my 10mo DS and I’m 5 months pregnant too!

Crunchymum · 20/01/2021 14:58

Tough one.

I'm not pregnant but am immunocompromised and when my DC3 was due in recently (an overnight stay) I was going with her. I didn't even think to send DP..... but and its a big but we would have been in a room not on a ward and I would have been confident we'd be at little risk.

In your situation I really don't know. Could you ask the hospital where the parent will be expected to wait and how covid secure it is?(explain your circumstances etc)

FelicityPike · 20/01/2021 14:59

I would go too. Just be super strict with your mask, hand washing, distancing etc.
Hope she gets on ok.

Crunchymum · 20/01/2021 14:59

Also whatever you decide, your DD won't remember so do not feel guilty if you decide to send her with Daddy.

Original poster
Rockettrain · 20/01/2021 15:02

@PlanDeRaccordement no I definitely wouldn't get her to choose, I don't think she'd understand that as a question anyway, and even if she did she would probably choose me since she would always choose to be with me if given the option Grin

OP posts:
Anonanon12 · 20/01/2021 15:07

Can you send your DH and then if she is upset and needs you, you then go and swap with your husband?

Original poster
Rockettrain · 20/01/2021 15:09

@Crunchymum that's a good idea I might ring and ask them where we would be waiting before the procedure and where she would recover afterwards. I would feel more confident going if I knew we were going to spend the majority of the time in a room rather than a ward.

OP posts:
WhatsMissed · 20/01/2021 15:11

I don’t really see what difference it makes who goes, you’ll all be coming back to the same house.

HibernatingTill2030 · 20/01/2021 15:22

@Anonanon12

Can you send your DH and then if she is upset and needs you, you then go and swap with your husband?
Just as a warning, this may not be allowed. My local hospital allows one parent to stay, but it has to be the same person all the time for day stays like this. They can only swap if child is in overnight or longer.
FudgeSundae · 20/01/2021 15:37

I’m 7 months pregnant and have a high risk pregnancy (normal COVID risk), having weekly consultant appointments and scans for which I end up waiting inside the hospital for 1-2 hours. Clearly the hospital aren’t that worried about pregnant women!

nicknamehelp · 20/01/2021 15:38

I doubt you will be able to swop even if she has to stop. Our local only allow switching after 7 nights.
You will be allocated a bed space, probably on a ward, and u can wait there. Our local kids ward isn't very busy at present and all have to wear masks and wash hands loads.
being pregnant though will you be comfy sitting in an uncomfortable chair for hours? Dh may be best and u put your feet up.

Original poster
Rockettrain · 20/01/2021 16:36

Thanks everyone, all good points to consider. I tried calling but couldn't get through, will try again ASAP. I will also ask if parents are allowed to swap.

It's a bit odd because DD has to have a Covid swab 3 days before and then the whole household have to self isolate until her appointment. So I can see them saying that parents can't swap over as they may say it increases Covid risk. But we have not been asked who will be accompanying her and for that parent to have a swab... surely we could already be infected but not have given it to her? The rules seem quite odd.

OP posts:
SnowFields · 20/01/2021 16:42

I would let her dad go and FaceTime her via his phone if needed afterwards.

Kittykat93 · 20/01/2021 17:51

I'd go with her 100 percent. Shes two, I couldn't bear to not be there

TheGracefulwhale · 20/01/2021 17:56

My 2 year old needed to go to a and e with a head injury on new years eve. I was 35 weeks pregnant. There was no way I wasn't going with him. Dh would have done a fine job but ds needed me

Suzi888 · 20/01/2021 19:25

I’d go, but try and get my hands on a really effective mask not the fabric ones.

MonkeyMooning · 20/01/2021 19:35

Her Dad definitely - if you have to stay in overnight when you give birth who will comfort her?

If she catch covid (heaven's forbid) from going, who will comfort her?

FlyNow · 20/01/2021 19:52

I would go. If one of you gets it in the hospital, you will all get it later at home so that first person to get it isn't in any more danger.

TeenagePITA · 20/01/2021 19:55

Go with her.
All the children there will be covid negative. Staff get tested twice a week.
I'd go.

Yubaba · 20/01/2021 19:59

I would go, I was just in hospital with my DD and the surgery waiting room was well organised. There were 3 mum’s waiting in the 8 bed room I was in, the nurses were strict about face masks and hand sanitiser.
We did have to wear proper surgical masks that they provided, home made masks were not allowed.
DD and I were in for a week and only I was allowed to visit, DH wasn’t allowed in at all. I had to stay in the hospital and I wasn’t allowed to go home and then come back.

WintryShowers · 20/01/2021 19:59

What’s the recovery likely to be like for her?
How exhausted are you? Still morning sickness etc?
Who will be bearing the brunt of her care when she’s home?
Does it make more sense for you to rest a day and DH go in with her if you’re going to be the one up all hours when she’s home?

Toddlerteaplease · 20/01/2021 20:03

If you've shielded for 7 days. As our patients are having to do, you will be on a shielded ward. So should be very low risk.