How do your primary aged children respond to you explaining / trying to help with school work

[Sethy38]

Mine?

Sometimes open minded and enthusiastic and positive.

Other times (often!) defensive and immediately “I know what to do!!” when clearly - they don’t. I begin calm and measured and patient but by the end, when I have had to really struggle just to explain that this particular slide on the power point, for example, means XYZ or the class materials is in this bit of Teams etc, I am bristling!!!

Aged 8 and 10.5.

Hopeful bump!

Ask for help but when it's offered also defensive. Rarely enthusiastic! It's not easy, especially when I'm trying to balance being helpful and available with working full time.

My 9 year old also gets very defensive and refuses to listen, we've had the occasional falling out over it.

6 yo DS gets upset and starts saying sorry and gets really down on himself - "I knew I wasn't very clever, I always make mistakes" - and needs a lot of reassurance.

DD (6) starts off enthusiastic but if she gets anything wrong or struggles, ends up defensive & overly dramatic. It's exhausting. I start off calm but even I end up escalating sometimes, especially if I'm trying to wfh too.

Make it more collaborative and less 'I know everything'.

'Have you tried [xyz]?'
'Do you think it could be....'
'Hang on, I remember struggling with this. Let me think... right! It's like this I think.'

Also, 'let me know if you want a hand'. 'Is that one tricky?' 'Can you try explaining it to me, see if I can work it out?'

More, mutual problem solving.

@picklemewalnuts

Make it more collaborative and less 'I know everything'.

'Have you tried [xyz]?'
'Do you think it could be....'
'Hang on, I remember struggling with this. Let me think... right! It's like this I think.'

Also, 'let me know if you want a hand'. 'Is that one tricky?' 'Can you try explaining it to me, see if I can work it out?'

More, mutual problem solving.

Yep, tried all that.

Still doesn’t stop my 8 year from saying “I know all that mummy, I know exactly what I’m meant to be doing!!!”. 2 mins later “mummy this is IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!”

Love it!

I'd just agree and commiserate. I feel like that at work sometimes!

Violence, mostly.

I can not, for the absolute life of me, believe that this. Is . Only. The. Start. Of. Week. THREE!!

Feels like months, 5 year old, it’s hell, this morning whilst getting the pencils and paper out declared that she has a headache, she doesn’t, but she knows what’s coming! She does not want to do it and being at home is not as motivating as at school with list of other children doing it and a teacher instead of boring old mum and dad!

I’m going to cry, there’s no hope left in my world

We get a lot of frustrated shouts from DC. Squirmy tantrums. Defensiveness. DC wants to give up. He seems deflated even when he finally gets it. Over the top praise from mum and dad seems to help and then a chance to show off his new skill to someone.

I home schooled one of mine due to school move circumstances. Several months, it was fine.

The other one, I'd have run away and joined the circus in preference.

I'm a primary teacher, currently working in a slightly different role in school; I'm in school 2/3 days a week at work, 2/3 days with my dc at home.

It's really tough, and I know how to teach! The difference is, it's working with your own children. All the emotional ties/baggage etc that that relationship brings is so completely different from the teacher/child relationship so it's absolutely nothing like the real thing.

All we can do is our best each day to get a few tasks done. I make a short list and we cross them off. Regular breaks, a good lunch. A loose timetable really helped us feel a structure to our day.

I get defensiveness, some happy learning, a lot of frustration (both of us), weariness, and constantly trying to keep dc off the video games which are on the laptop, or YouTube!🙄

I think we all need to go easy on ourselves for our sanity's sake.

It doesn’t get easier as they get older either 😕 I have an anxious teenager who is easily overwhelmed and discouraged when she doesn’t understand something. However, my attempts to help get shot down as apparently I “talk too fast, use too many words and have a tone” 😳 I could never be a teacher 😂