If you work p/t and your partner works f/t how are you dividing the homeschool labour?

[hadituptohereok]

I'm a teacher, work 20 hours per week. Dh works from.

I am teaching remotely at the moment whilst also responsible for all homeschool supervision, pet care (we have v energetic gun dog) washing, tidying etc.

I used to be able to mark in the week but now have no time to do so so I work Saturday and Sunday catching up on marking, planning, tracking.

Dh logs off at 6 every weekday and spends the weekend playing fortnite. Won't do anything with the kids unless I ask him, eg bike rides or fresh air.

He seems to think this is perfectly ok. What do you think?

@Mcmole

wow your husband sounds just like mine - I suspect ASD with him as well. I am in a similar position to you too, working part time for one employer but a little self-employed stuff too, and doing all the homeschooling, whereas he can't be interrupted, and has the office with the closed door. I don't have any advice but it is tough. Sometimes he will 'help out' but it's more I'll need to give him a task to do and he'll do it - he won't know what is going on with school, or dinner, or anything - I have sole responsibility for it and keeping on top of everything rather than sharing it between us. It is easy for people to stay stop enabling him because you do it so your kids won't suffer and don't want to take the risk of them missing out.

This is exactly it McMole if I don't do it nobody does.

He is incapable of thinking about anybody's needs but his own and then when I raise it it's me who I supposed to draw up an action plan to help him address it.

I have ASD and inattentive ADHD, but I am not also a selfish manchild. I am working full-time from home and my DH has been furloughed, but I am still doing more than your 'D'H around the house and sharing taking the dog out. I have my doubts about how much this is to do with the ASD.

On a practical level, the days I don’t work, I do everything.

The days I work, he supervises homeschool for the morning, I do the afternoon. I still do all the cooking, the vast majority of the laundry, all the organising online activities for the kids, most of the tidying, all of the outdoor exercise for the kids etc, but I do get 6 clear hours (I get up early) with no interruptions those days and also when I make up my hours at the weekend. I think that’s about what you should be aiming for.

I didn't say in my post that my DH is autistic but he's not selfish. If anything his autism makes him a better dad as he understands only too well what it feels like to be lonely and ignored. For the first time in his life he has someone who wants to hang out with him, go for a bike ride with him and laughs at his shit jokes.

Thank you fatcat that's useful to know.

@Whoateallthestuffingballs

I have ASD and inattentive ADHD, but I am not also a selfish manchild. I am working full-time from home and my DH has been furloughed, but I am still doing more than your 'D'H around the house and sharing taking the dog out. I have my doubts about how much this is to do with the ASD.

That's really helpful thank you