I've lost all perspective on breakfast. Please advise!

[KindergartenKop]

I'm in an ongoing battle with my kids over breakfast. I want them to have plain porridge, they want toast with jam, chocolate spread and pancakes on. We usually compromise somewhere in the middle. They also take ages to make any choices for breakfast, thus making me late for meetings etc etc.

So new plan is that I tell them the breakfasts available in the week and they choose which day it happens in advance. So in a week they have to have...

2 x cereal (not fun ones) or porridge with small amount of raisins or half a banana and peanut butter.

2 x plain yogurt with frozen fruit.

1 x treat breakfast (pancakes or croissant and jam etc)

1 x fruit smoothie and a chunk of cheese/babybel.

1 x egg on toast

Also fresh fruit if they want it.

Is this crazy? Is this too much sugar? I've lost all perspective! They are 6 and 8. I'm a bit concerned they need to keep dairy consumption up, they don't drink milk at all.

I see it as making life less complicated because they know what they're getting and there's no attempt at negotiation. Ds2 is picky about food and prone to tantrums and I want to avoid that at 8am. But also I want to make sure he has a good breakfast because he's not keen on eating all the other food I make!

Good point about them not needing milk- I told you I've lost perspective!

@KindergartenKop an easy way to get dairy in is smoothies or milkshakes- blitz fruit (fresh or frozen) with yoghurt & milk or ice cream and milk.
We sometimes have this as dessert- maybe with a digestive biscuit on the side to fill up DS.

My kids for breakfast- they make their own.
They can choose from
'Boring' (ie non sugary) cereal
Dried fruit
Yoghurt (usually plain)
Toast with jam/honey/peanut butter/marmite
Glass of unsweetened juice.

At weekends they can have all of that or sweet cereal if I bought any, occasionally Nutella if I bought it, or eggs/bacon.

I'm not a morning person so they've been getting their own breakfast since I trusted them to use the toaster.

They also sometimes have hot chocolate.

OP I get it, I have had food issues too but I’m trying my hardest not to push these on to my kids. The way you talk about half a banana etc... is really indicative of someone who is obsessed with food and what they and their kids eat. My kids are starving some days and not bothered the next (as am I) and we eat according to our appetites. We are all healthy weights and very active. I really spend next to no time worrying about what they’ve eaten let alone writing threads on Mumsnet. It sounds exhausting!

Making a song and dance of this is really not the best plan of attack. Give them sensible choices; weetabix, porridge, toast with butter, peanut butter, philadelphia etc... egg and banana pancakes. Don’t buy crap like Nutella and it’s not there to be eaten. And don’t try and force them to eat food they don’t like!

@KindergartenKop

No juice!

My issue with free choice of toast is that they'll always choose that over cereal and I want them to have the milk with the cereal. Cereals are dull: weetabix, cornflakes or branflakes. They love cereal on the odd occasion when we have something sugary!

Don’t underestimate the power of getting them to make the toast themselves. I prefer toast over cereal but I have cereal every day because I’m hungry and lazy. Your meals sound fine, although I’d do what others have suggested and let them choose- but your meals do sound quite small for a growing child? My 18 month old has a full bowl of porridge AND a piece of peanut butter toast every day. In my head big breakfasts are for kids, little ones are for adults.

Op you are making your life a lot harder than it needs to be. Stop buying the items that you do not want them to have.

In my house my children have a choice of 3 cereals in the week, porridge, weetabix or bite size shredded wheat.

A bowl of fresh chopped fruit (that I prep the night before) is always offered. Used to either sweeten cereal or to have alongside plain yoghurt. They have milk, water or small glass of orange juice to drink.

Saturday they are allowed coco pops and Nutella on a pastry.

Sunday is cooked breakfast, banana bread or pancakes brunch type of breakfast.

Cereal and milk on the table for them to help themselves. Cheerios/shreddies are not too evil if they will eat them. Granola is often sweet but has other good stuff in.

Possibly fruit (basic apple or whatever) if still hungry.

If they want toast they make it themselves and only offer peanut butter/butter.

Nutella/pancakes/cooked stuff at the weekends only.

No way would I be over thinking it this much or giving so many options.

Far too much drama for me. Mine have a toasted bagel with a small amount of chocolate spread every single day. I’d be bored senseless with the same breakfast ever day, but they eat it quickly and there is no morning fussing about. They will happily eat croissants/eggs/bacon if it’s offered and I have time. They are both very healthy and teeth are fine so I’m picking my battles.

I had the same issue with kids the same age. We have allocated days for each breakfast and it removes the negotiation. Monday and Wednesday are porridge (little bit of honey or compote on top) Tuesday and Thursday are healthy cereal and Friday is CHOCOLATE CEREAL DAY! Weekends we do eggs/ toast or they can chose a healthy cereal instead.

It's quite stressful just reading your OP

Dont buy the stuff you don't want them to have, put the rest on the table and let them choose what they want.

I agree with @TriflePudding posters on here are well weird about food.

Treat breakfast at weekends. Otherwise lay out a few things for them to sort out themselves, fruit, cereal, yoghurt, toast and offer egg or porridge while they're doing that.

Plain porridge is horrible, it definitely needs nut butter, honey and maybe fruit to make it edible. I buy the nut butters without sugar so it’s basically just blended nuts.

Egg on toast and smoothies are fine as is cereal.

You’re overthinking it, they won’t die if they eat coco pops.

@TheBeesKnee plain porridge is not disgusting, and it is lovely with some fruit, no need for added sugar when it can be sweetened with pieces of fruit.

I personally think that jam and chocolate spreads are for weekends or special occasions, but not every day. We have some sweet stuff at weekends sometimes.
Otherwise my DD has porridge with banana or frozen fruit (blueberries, raspberries, cherries ..). There was a time when she suddenly rejected porridge and wouldn't eat eat, so sometimes I would make pancakes with Ready Brek and she'll have them with soft cheese. Or toast with peanut butter, butter and marmite or soft cheese and ham. Personally I have no issues with savory toast, but I prefer her to have porridge.

My 4 and 8 year old don't have a choice, they get the breakfast I give them during the week.

Weekends they choose. I couldn't cope with a battle every morning.

Sometimes I give them a choice for tea but would never ask 'what would you like?' It's not a restaurant!!

I'm not portion controlling. They can have a whole banana, I just mentioned half because sometimes a whole one in porridge is too much for the little one.

I'm just aware that proper nutrition is important and I don't want to set them up for a lifetime of sugar addiction! But equally I can't face a battle every morning. I just want to keep everyone happy AND healthy 🙂

I do think you are making this too complicated for yourself. Stop with the options.

I have 4yo and 2yo DS's. In the week they get given porridge (made with water, splash of milk to cool it and a tsp of maple syrup/sugar or fruit) or cereal & toast. Which one it is depends on what me and DH are having - they don't get to choose.

At weekends they can have toast, cereal and/or croissant. No sugary cereals. Chocolate spread/jam/honey is weekends only.

During the week DD has the option of either porridge with almond butter and honey (t1 sp) or 2 slices brown toast, usually one savoury one sweet (Philadelphia or Marmite on one, jam or honey, or very occasionally Chocolate spread (mean healthy chocolate spread in the other)).

She always has the option of fruit, we rarely have juice.

At the weekend we might have a cooked breakfast (egg based, usually) or occasionally pancakes or croissants.

I'm not overly hett up about the nutritional value, it all events out (the poor girl is subjected to all sorts of wholegrain, high fibre goodness).

'I personally think that jam and chocolate spreads are for weekends or special occasions'

I agree!

I appreciate your dc are a bit older but if they're being a pain remove the choice

@User0ne

I appreciate your dc are a bit older but if they're being a pain remove the choice

So what I am trying to do is give them the impression of choice. They choose which day we all eat the food. But in the morning I can crack on and make it for them because the meal gas been pre planned by them. I am also trying to teach them about healthy eating/meal planning alongside it. We talked about what they need in their whole diet and why we don't have cocopop-pancake-jam-fritters every day.

I absolutely love porridge! We all have it for breakfast most days but with different toppings each day - peanut/almond butter stirred in, honey, desiccated coconut, chia seeds, frozen berries, grated apple and cinnamon, banana, blob of jam....all delicious. DC loves choosing the toppings though he’s only a toddler so could well change. I think in the OP’s position I’d offer healthy cereal or toast with butter/nut butter during the week and let them choose within those options.

Do you have some food issues yourself OP? Have a look again at the comment regarding the nutritionist advice. If they want toast it really is fine to give them toast.

I've never really stressed about breakfast. DD usually has some cereal (Inc chocolate ones as there's such a small amount of chocolate actually in them). Juice and toast. When younger sometimes cereal & fruit or toast and fruit.
She doesn't have a lot of time for lunch at school so needs a decent amount of breakfast to keep her going. She's not a breakfast skipping teen now either.

What about the porridge but with a dollop of jam or Nutella and some fruit in there too ? Compromise on the porridge with a bit of sugar least you know they are getting the goodness of the porridge etc x

Toast, fruit and yoghurt is fine for breakfast every day.

They don't need milk.

If you don't want them to have jam & nutella then either don't buy it or keep it for weekends only.

Way too many options. Give them choice of two cereals on a weekday. On weekend they can have something more exciting. It’s not up for discussion.