Has anyone managed to claim spousal maintenance?

[BlazerHoles]

Making plans to leave an arsehole and a pretty shit marriage.

Trying to get ducks in a row - I saw a couple of solicitors previously and they weren’t very good

Of course people have. It’s irrelevant though because unless their circumstances are the exact same as yours and it’s recent, then what they got is not relevant.

Generally courts prefer a clean break now. Only where it’s been a long marriage and the lower earning spouse could not reasonably be expected to train and earn for themselves is it usually provided. Marriage is no longer the meal ticket for life it once was.

Generally now it’s about splitting the marital assets fairly.

How old are you, how long married and are there any kids, how old and what’s the custody split.

I’m 50 have looked after kids and home since my dd was a baby she’s 16, ds is 13 whilst he was largely absent from the home and family life

I want SM for 4 years until my ds has finished full time education and I’m hoping to retrain and work full time

I feel like I sacrificed so much and have been left with not much at all.

I don’t think H will play fair- he’s not a kind person when he isn’t in full control.

How did this happen to me

You are more likely to get a slightly larger slice of the assets than spousal maintenance and then it will be up to you to spend it on retraining.

A clean break is preferred by the courts (and should be preferred by all parties).

How much does he earn?

Friend of mine did for a year, it was supposed to help her while she looked for a job

Another person i know gets a small amount until they die, but they were retired and not expected to get a job

He earns £110k I earn £15k currently

If you want proper advice, post in Legal OP. I think Collaborate is a family solicitor.

Why do you want spousal maintenance instead of pushing for a larger portion of your shared assets?

I don’t know what I want at the moment to be honest
I’m a bit lost

Thanks for your responses

Only in extreme circumstances; a relative who was forced to give up her own job when her banking executive spouse was posted overseas for to a location where she was not able to get a working visa for herself and so became a housewife for over ten years. That seemed fair to me, given how she had supported his very lucrative career at the expense of her own. She does work now they're split and she's back in UK, but her salary is topped up with money from him. Not sure of the terms of the agreement or whether it has an expiry date.

I would personally go for the initial asset share as it’s in the bag. Have known two women whose ex partners moved overseas to avoid child maintenance.

Just start by getting all paperwork together and don’t give him a heads up on what’s happening.

You really need legal advice.

Thanks all
Yes I suspect H would play quite dirty at having his cushy life taken away -I have found out he’s been having quite a lot of cake and eating it -multiple OW

Definitely go for a bigger share rather than spousal.

My friend was advised to do that as they warned her he could stop paying spousal and she would have to take him to court to resume payments and obviously it would cost her.

In the end the man who could never get out of overseas travel for work, the man who couldn't agree fixed weekends to have his children realised he could save himself £1k a month if he had the children 50/50 (he earns over £100k) so the eldest had just started secondary and could do the school run himself, the youngest was in year 6 so he could walk himself to school and back.

He used this as an excuse to not do the overseas travel with his work, she "forced" me to have the children 50/50 and he could work from home. Children let themselves in, he comes out of his office at 6pm.

He provided them with desktop computers in their rooms and so hardly sees them when they are with him.

I too would think a larger portion of assets would protect you better. With SM if your DH loses or leaves his job, it could stop. I know of a very wealthy man who threatened to leave his lucrative (£1m+) finance career and become a teacher, purely out of spite, so that he didn't have to pay SM.

Me

For next 11 years until youngest 18

Both solicitors seemed to think entirely reasonable

He’s a similar high earner

There has been a few spousal maintenance threads lately

We had large assets so I went for as much as I could. My solicitor mentioned SM but I wanted to be independent of him. He earned a lot more than me and his pension was more, plus I had invested a lot in the assets myself, so I did really well. I came out with a mortgage free home and a holiday cottage (with DP) as well as my income, savings, pension and another rental. My dc were young adults/almost and it didn't affect anything negatively.
Does he have a massive pension? You can have your share put in your own pension fund.

@Zenithbear I’m so pleased You got a good settlement he has about 100k and about £20k in another pension he’s so bad with money I have no idea where it goes - I am partly to blame for not putting my foot down and taking control of course

Looking forward to being independent