I feel frozen with the enforced isolation of covid

[StoneBasket]

I live alone & used to have an active life before covid struck. Now I'm home alone more or less 22hrs a day. The silence is deafening. I am sick to death of everything coming through the computer. I don't have a telly through choice but now I find my only connection is through my laptop. My home has never felt so sterile & isolated. I have a few married friends but they're having their own issues being cooped up 24/7 and I have only one other family member who has poor wifi connection. I feel like I'm going insane. I lost my job and I'm supposed to be starting new training but that doesn't start for a few months yet. One of my friends has been having suicidal thoughts so I've been propping her up too. My health is also suffering, I have a lot of pain in my calves & lower leg bones which the gp is understandably not interested in at the moment.

I don't know what I want from this I'm just putting it out there.

OP that sounds very hard, I’m sorry you’re struggling. Have you thought about getting a TV for some company whilst we’re in lockdown or do you really not like them? Alternatively, do you listen to the radio at all? I find the radio feels more personal than TV, I listen to it through an Alexa.

The radio is a good idea. Makes you feel like there is company there in the background and you can dip in and out and listen in as things pique your interest. So many different stations to try

I'm really sorry to hear that StoneBasket, isolation is a killer and feeling alone with no real end date in sight is horrific. I am on my own too with no support bubble and really know what you mean. I know it's cold comfort, and not the human connection you're looking for, but might you consider changing your mind about a telly, just for a bit of background noise / feeling connected to the world? It's not as intense as the laptop as you're not so immersed in it; you can be getting on with other things. As a lifelong TV snob I now find myself sometimes laughing at things like You've been framed or Catchphrase, just for a bit of silly light relief. And there are live TV threads here on the Telly addicts board where you can watch something and chat along with other mumsnetters in real time, I've enjoyed that and it makes you feel not alone.

I sometimes think that in prison for a horrible crime you would get more care and respite than sitting at home for 22/23 hours a day in lockdown on your own. At least in prison you can interact with people, do a course, have therapy, take on a job within that environment. You get 1 session of exercise a day, as we do. The worst punishment in a prison is isolation, which in some countries is seen as a form of torture. Yet this is what we're expected to voluntarily undergo as free citizens.

Thinking of you StoneBasket, I know I look like words on a screen but I am a real life person sending you the warmest wishes x

I use my laptop for tv/radio. I carry it around the house & listen to lectures & podcasts. I can't imagine what it will be like to see our country relax and be free when we're finally able to.

I know how you feel OP. It will feel fantastic, but also a bit weird when we’re finally able to come and go as we please. I expect it will take me quite a long time to be able to hug a friend, or meet one for dinner and be able to relax and enjoy it, rather than feeling anxious.

It's definitely reached peak monotony, hasn't it. I do find the radio quite cheering, and getting absorbed in something creative (trying to do some writing atm). Nothing can take the place of human contact though. I'm not in that situation and I can't imagine how I'd be coping by now. I feel bad for feeling a bit fed up with DP purely because life has shrunk to just us two plus DS and our home. I know I'm fortunate not to be on my own. Is there absolutely nobody you can form a support bubble with? Feels a bit inadequate but like a pp I'm sending you warm wishes. Happy to chat if you feel like it.

It must be very hard to spend so many hours alone. My partner and I do very little together but at least we can mutter to each other in passing and eat together. Could you maybe get a lodger or house guest to keep you company this year?

I live alone too and you have all my sympathy. It is hideous.