How be be more interesting?

[orangesky1]

So my husband told me this week I have become boring. I used to have interesting conversation to contribute and now I am dull and don't have anything interesting to say.

He is not wrong. We have a one year old and a I work full time. After house work, I have very little time left.... But I am lazy at the moment and just watch trash tv or read easy thrillers in the little time I have - candy for the brain. I also had some PND which has left my concentration span in tatters. I've been purposely avoiding the news for months as I can't stand all the covid-brexit misery.

I need quick easy ways of getting some 'knowledge' and interesting things to contribute. Can anyone help with suggestions:

• podcasts (short)
• daily emails with news - perhaps unusual or international rather than same old stuff here
• weekly magazines but not too difficult / technical (I find the economist too dry)

Any help/tips much appreciated for how to become more interesting with no time or attention span!

Thank you!

If you hadn't begun your post the way you did then I would have advised you stop focusing on how you come across to others, engage with things you are interested, talk about those things. But you didn't, you said your called you boring? That's pretty harsh.

@dudsville thanks for the response. Yes I was really upset at first- it was harsh, but also true. I used to be interested in so many things, but I also used to have so much more time, and be less tired! Just looking for some shortcuts!

Get a new DH who finds you interesting or one that helps out enough that you have time to be interesting whatever that means

Do you have a news app on your phone? Mine pulls in articles from all over the place on things I’m interested in.
Radio 4 is great to have on while getting on with stuff. So many short and fascinating articles as well as more in depth analysis.
Bbc iplayer for some interesting documentaries.

Would he be open to doing the housework so that you can invest that time making yourself fascinating for him?

Suggest he gives you more time to yourself so you have the energy to re-discover what you find interesting. But first tell him he’s an arsehole.

Your husband is a prick! Youve had baby brain for the last two years pregnancy and then hormones... i wont talk to my husband over a lot of things because our views are so different and he winds me up... i am also not as intelligent as he is so wont argue as he is an arrogant tosser ... in saying they i have life experience that he will
Never have so a
Person can be interesting in different ways.

Either way his comment is insensitive he needs to grow up and maybe help out more so you can grow again with your interests.

Well is he interesting? Even without pnd and full time work, having a 1year old is mentally exhausting. Do you get any personal time to yourself? Is he a hands on dad and partner to you?
Perhaps he has been watching too many celebrity parents. They are not the norm.
Ithink if you can have a rational conversation with your dh to explain how you are overloaded mentally at this time but it will get better and he can accept that and try to help out then everything will be fine. However if he is looking for a way out of his responsibilities or trying to insinuate something else I would be quite cross with him.
In answer to your original question, I find the New Scientist or National Geographic magazines sparked some interesting ideas or debate. Or maybe whatever special interest magazine you have. Eg architecture or archaeology. Gardening, caravanning, etc

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Would he be open to doing the housework so that you can invest that time making yourself fascinating for him?

This.

Being interesting takes energy and time. Is he carrying his full share of the load, including the mental and emotional load of the family?

Does he do 50% of the housework and childcare so you have more time?

Saying that- I have 2 children and a husband who does his share of all the domestic stuff and it's only in the last year or so (my youngest is 3) that I have been able to concentrate on myself a bit as after work, children's activities and all the domestic shit I was exhausted. It's now easier as the children are getting older.

The issue is not you being 'boring', it's your DH being a disrespectful arse by calling you that. It's OK not to be up to speed on the latest podcast or international news, I'm certainly not! Most of mine and DH's chat is to do with the every day, or our friends, or what we want to watch next. You are not a character in a Jane Austen book who needs to be 'interesting' in order to please men!

Do something for YOU but only because it's what you want. Personally, I'd switch off if someone tried to tell me about a documentary or podcast they've just listened to.

Me and DH are both big readers and share kindle books, so that's a good conversation topic. Could you do that, both read the same thing? Or do you watch the same stuff on TV?

Basically, if DH really does find you boring (and I suspect it's him who is bored and nothing to do with you) then he needs to figure out what he would like to talk about. Please don't be hard on yourself. After full days of work/childcare/home schooling/chores i am only good for scrolling through Mumsnet on some evenings...

You DP is being a dick OP.

You may well not have the breath of interests you had before, but I doubt you are boring.

However, if you want to expand out - first question - how will you get more energy? More sleep, fewer tasks. First area to look it - what is DP doing - is it 50/50 adjusted for working hours? If not that needs to change. Can you get a cleaner and also lower you housework standards? Are you getting enough sleep,

Until your DP is doing 50/50 and you have some energy spare I wouldn’t worry about anything else.

After that I think the Conversation email is good. The Week for a round up. Brain Pickings email. New scientist. Fast Company. Women’s Hour. Badass Women’s Hour. The High Low.

Boring? What are you? His entertainment system?

He sounds like a real catch.

He does sound disrespectful and a little childish (expecting you to entertain him.)

Tell him to have the child and do the housework while you go out and do interesting things.

Is anybody interesting at the moment? Life is dull.

Also now I think about it... aren't we all a bit boring right now? We're sitting around indoors, going nowhere, seeing noone...it does take a toll. I notice I have less to chat about, unless it's Covid related (yawn). And if your baby was born one year ago, then you had a boring crappy maternity leave too.

How can any of us be that scintillating without the usual variety of experiences to inspire us and spark new ideas? We're all just plodding on in endurance mode. I'd say he's no barrel of laughs either atm.

Reading a different news source can be refreshing. I found some interesting international stories in the FT! I took to buying every now and then. (But not when I had a one year old come to think of it.)

From our own correspondent on radio 4 is often a good listen.

The comments above about the current situation ring true! I don't know what I'll find to talk about once covid is done with.

He is wrong to expect you to entertain him.what does he want to discuss? My dh likes radio 4, I like mumsnet to find out views on current affairs and I have learnt alot. We often chat about what we've read and heard. My husband willingly tells me about what he has read and then that opens a discussion especially if I ask questions and vice versa.

What is your 'discussion dynamic' like? Were you the instigator of communication and now you're too tired for that role and he is unable to take over that role?

Thanks for the tips, will definitely try some of those magazines. I listen to to radio 4 occasionally and have usually found the topics a bit dull (most recent was a topic about people doing zoom scrabble), but I may have been tuning in at the wrong times, so will keep trying.

Re husband, yes he can be a bit of an arse. He is very demanding, and does not cut me much slack. His recent habit it sharing with me stories of people who have succeeded despite terrible circumstances to show me how easy I have it. If I object, it is me being insecure.

He thinks he does more than half the house work but he doesn't. I do all the planning, mental load plus all the daily stuff that doesn't get noticed, sorting house, laundry, nursery runs etc. He also works fewer hours than me - 28 rather than c.50, so arguably should be doing more... But it is not worth the fights.

I appreciate that the relationship situation is not ideal.... But I do think he does have a point that I have become very one dimensional. I spend most of my time looking up baby sleep, development, food ideas etc these days!

Yes, he has a point that you are at rather a busy and consuming point in life right now.

Do it for you by all means but not because you feel somehow unworthy.

With your update you definitely have a “D” H problem... he sounds vile...
i imagine you’d be a lot more ‘interesting’ if you didn’t have to do everything and work nearly double what your DH does... why are you trying to change yourself for someone that is clearly bot worth it