How do I arrange my face on zoom?

[Flyingwiththecanons]

Family zoom calls once a week.

Bil and sil are expecting their first baby, very exciting it's the first grand child etc. The first 10/20 mins of every call is about whether they've felt the baby move, placenta positions, internal scans, wind, cravings etc.

I am happy for them but I am really struggling. I am hurting because we have infertility and recurrent miscarriages and all my friends are expecting babies. I want to take part in the zoom calls but I don't know how to not have a glassy eyed expression as I'm watching the tv and trying not to listen to them.

How do you have a neutral expression on your face when people are talking constantly about something that is so painful?

I also don't know what to say to them so I don't speak and then get accused of being moody.

Could you start attending late? Or maybe set up a quiz or something so they are distracted from the start and don't go on about it? If that fails, I would start claiming connection problems so you don't have to switch your camera on immediately, or be doing something in the room but not be sat watching.

It's very hard to 'put on a face' when it's this situation. Sorry OP.

A quiz is a good idea thanks

Rubbish Internet connections and broken cameras on laptops are SUCH a pain aren't they OP?

Seriously though - couldn't your partner talk to his brother and say its a difficult time? Or do they not have that kind of relationship?

He has spoken to him. They just think I'm being selfish and ruining their experience

Ah. Then I'd be done with them forever myself and not joining in on any Zoom calls, the insensitive shits.

(But then I'm autistic and tend to be a bit blunt and black and white, so probably not the way to go.)

With your update about them being rude while knowing it's difficult for you, I wouldn't be so subtle about it. If they start talking about it or it goes on for more than a couple of minutes I would simply get up and walk away. You don't need to leave the call, but you don't have to put up with that.