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Original poster

I can't take any more of DH's snoring!

56 replies

MooChops89 · 16/01/2021 09:58

It is constant. And so loud. And when its not loud it sounds snotty and clicky. Its driving me insane!
I have a 6 month old who still wakes for bottle feeds and likes to have a whinge during the night, and when he finally settles down DH starts the bloody orchestra.
I am starting to feel like a zombie, I'm not sleeping and it's making me cranky and shouty. He slept on the sofa voluntarily in the end last night but I feel awful, he can't help it!
I've asked him to make an effort to lose weight but he gets offended and although unhappy with his weight he isn't ready to do anything about it. He can't sleep on the sofa forever!
Has anybody had any success with any remedies they can suggest? Not sure nose strips are gonna cut it to be honest.
We've been married 4 years next week and at this rate we might not make it!

OP posts:
Witchend · 16/01/2021 21:23

Clothes peg on the nose is quite effective. It either stops the worst snores or it wakes them up. Grin

*Disclaimer, I only tried it once. I find a quick jab in the ribs as effective because he rolls over onto his stomach.

WarmSausageTea · 16/01/2021 21:24

It doesn’t affect him so he doesn’t actually give a shit.

If he cared he’d do something about it.

This is the bottom line. He’s being selfish and seems to have little intention of changing things. I’d be digging my heels in and insisting that either he changes, or he stays on the sofa.

stanski · 16/01/2021 21:26

We sleep separate. Only way we manage.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old 6-9 months old Babies & sleep
violetbunny · 16/01/2021 21:26

He needs to see a doctor to work out the cause of it. He may have sleep apnea or it may be something else. DP turned out to have a deviated septum and now sleeps with a nasal dilator (small piece of plastic). Such a simple thing but has made a massive difference, he never realised how poorly he was breathing in his sleep.

Honestly though you need to make this an issue for him because right now it's only an issue for you.

Thecrisplover · 16/01/2021 22:10

My ex used to snore really loudly, he is still putting on more and more weight, I dread to think how loud he is now. I had to sleep downstairs it was so awful. Divorce worked 100%, I sleep like a baby now!

NiceGerbil · 16/01/2021 22:15

One of my exes snored. He wasnt overweight. I mean egg everyone snored or snuffles a bit but it was so loud and even when I poked him he'd start up again. No kidding it was as loud as a lawnmower or something.

When we spilt up my god it was awesome to have the peace, I realised I hadn't had a proper nights sleep in 4 years!

Have you recorded him? I think they often don't know how loud it all actually is. Trusts a starting point maybe.

NiceGerbil · 16/01/2021 22:15

That is, not trusts!

AnnaMagnani · 16/01/2021 22:27

Tell him he might lose his driving licence? The DVLA really really hate people with untreated sleep apnoea - causes sleepiness in the day and increased risk of accidents.

My experience is that men are connected to their cars like their are connected to their penises. You can talk about an early death and they don't care, but not being able to drive! OMG, action stations.

He needs to contact his GP and in the meantime make it his problem - wake him up like you are awake, record him so he knows how loud he is, he sleeps on the sofa.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 16/01/2021 22:30

I occasionally end up wide awake and annoyed so I switch on my phone and start watching videos or listening to music. When he complains I point out that I'm making less noise than he is.

Other than that, I really have nothing. I pointed out to DH that for more than half of my life now I've slept badly because of his snoring - 25 years. He still didn't go to see the doc but he is on a diet.

He has had his nose broken several times so I'm reading the stuff about nasal dilator with interest.

Reedwarbler · 16/01/2021 22:31

Separate rooms is the answer.
However, if you are willing to pay, you can get sleep problems diagnosed privately very quickly. The NHS will have you waiting for years.

Original poster
MooChops89 · 17/01/2021 21:07

Thanks for the replies. I recorded him last night and showed him, he was quite surprised how loud he is. He says he feels like he's got a cold but tbh he says that every time I complain about his snoring but never actually comes down with a cold. I think I've got to him a bit about the weight loss as he's been and bought himself some healthy lunches for the week. He ended up on the sofa again last night (his choice) and has also decided to sleep down here again tonight. I do sleep better when he's not in the bed but the idea of separate rooms feels a bit sad!

OP posts:
Frodont · 17/01/2021 21:08

@OwlWearingGlasses

My husband snores and isn't overweight. I wear earplugs but my children are older. The earplugs I wear don't make my ears sore - they are soft squishy foam.
This - same here The Macks purple foam ones are nice and slim
ScatteredMama82 · 17/01/2021 21:11

My DH is slim and very fit, he snores like a train. He’s also a very light sleeper, so if I turn on a light to read, or get up, it wakes him and he can’t get back to sleep. I can’t sleep due to his snoring. It was causing us real issues in our marriage. He now sleeps in the spare room unless we have people visiting. It’s much better! We are both much happier when we get some sleep.

janeymacaronie · 17/01/2021 21:11

My husband was a terrible snorer, would keep the whole house awake. We bought snorerx online, it's a mouthpiece that you wear and you can mold it to the shape of your mouth. It was like a miracle, totally silent with it now. I'm in the US so it might not go by the same name in the UK but it really is a miracle. It holds the jaw and mouth in the correct position.

MyHairNeedsASnip · 17/01/2021 21:18

You have my sympathy 💐 after 20 years of stuffing foam into my ears and still having broken sleep, I got to the point where I had a massive tantrum last year.

I was staying up til the early hours so I was exhausted to try and sleep, but the anticipation of hearing the snorts was putting me on edge. The slightest sound would have me up poking at him.

He sleeps on the sofa now. It's not ideal and not good for our relationship but My God, I'm sleeping well for the first time in 2 decades.

I hope you find something.

dementedpixie · 17/01/2021 21:22

@MooChops89

Thanks all.

Didn't think of sleep apnoea @DenisetheMenace, I've suggested he sees GP but I guess stuff like this isn't a priority at the min. Also a CPAP machine would surely be worse than the snoring Smile

We had a bit of a chat about it this morning, he says he feels like I think he's a fat mess Sad as I often suggest he loses weight (but always in a nice way and usually as a "I'm having a go, why don't you try too as it'll work really well") but he's going to try eating better for a bit and see how it goes.

CPAP machines are quiet They were a life changer when dh got one after being diagnosed with sleep apnoea - the snoring stopped too
ListeningQuietly · 17/01/2021 21:25

Sleep separately
you can read and cuddle and whatever
and then separate for the sleeping part of the night

He NEEDS to look at getting to a healthy weight

but also, get him to look at these
www.healthandcare.co.uk/nasal-dilators/francis-nasal-dilator-size-no1-11mm-x-15mm-pack-of-10.html
(or whichever size is right for him)

But first off, YOU need to sleep well and that may well be on your own
and then he brings you the morning cuppa

higglepiggley · 17/01/2021 21:37

I'm a young woman with severe sleep apnea . I've had it even when I was 9 stone and snored so so loudly.
My CPAP machine barely makes a sound. It is 1000 times quieter than my snoring without it

IndieTara · 17/01/2021 21:39

It's not always weight related . Ex fiancé snored like a rhino but slim fit healthy and didn't drink.
I recorded him and played back to him more than once but he wouldn't go to his gp.
I started refusing to stay over at his as there was nowhere to escape to when he snored.
In the end it was the biggest reason why I split with him

higglepiggley · 17/01/2021 21:42

I can echo it's not always related.
I snored so loudly even when I was 8.5-9 stone.
For me I have a recessed chin and big overbite which causes it

ListeningQuietly · 17/01/2021 21:45

I am the snorer in my house.
I can make the walls shake
known medical reasons not linked to weight and already operated on once

separate sleeping saves relationships

Uhhuhoyaye · 17/01/2021 22:51

You each sleep alternate nights on the sofa.
To expect him to sleep on the sofa every night is abusive.

FourTurnings · 18/01/2021 19:11

Sleeping separately is not the same thing as not having sex or being intimate.

StripeyDeckchair · 18/01/2021 19:58

I don't see why a couple should alternate who sleeps on the sofa if the snorer isn't prepared to seek help & act to address the snoring.
I certainly dont understand why the earlier poster is sleeping permanently on a sofa bed to get away from her OHs snoring. WTF is he doing to sort it out?

burritofan · 18/01/2021 20:10

To expect him to sleep on the sofa every night is abusive
Ahahahahahahaha, no. It really isn’t.