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Original poster

Can someone talk to me?

27 replies

HeartsOnAstring · 14/01/2021 23:15

Feeling really shaken up. Need to sleep as DH is working early tomorrow and I'm caring for my 2 ds.
On the way to pick my ds1 up from nursery today and as I was driving along, a car pulled out and hit the side of my car and pushed me into on coming traffic. I had ds2 in the back. I am so, so grateful that no one was hurt but I'm a mess.
The guy was so aggressive and threatening that I didn't even get his number plate.
I can't get it out of my head. I'm supposed to be asleep but I can't. Im not even sure why I'm writing this.

OP posts:
qwert9873 · 14/01/2021 23:18

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sounds really frightening. Have the police been involved?

SoLongFurlough · 14/01/2021 23:19

Sounds awful for you OP Flowers
Any witnesses or chance that there was CCTV about?
I'd maybe contact the police anyway tomorrow

Isadora2007 · 14/01/2021 23:20

What you’re now experiencing is shock and normal- to be unable to switch off and often replaying etc. Have a sweet hot cuppa and watch some mindless tv. Brew

Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 14/01/2021 23:25

Thank you for replying. I did get the mans telephone number once he stopped shouting at me. He kept telling me how stupid I was and that it was all my fault.
Quite honestly, I felt really stupid while he was shouting at me and couldn't think what to do. I was worried about my ds 2 in the back seat too.
I rang the insurance who have parked the claim until I get the number plate. There is a chance that a shop we parked outside has CCTV so I will ring them in the morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 14/01/2021 23:27

There was a witness who actually pulled over but the guy ststting shouting at her too so she drove off. I stupidly didnt get her name. Oh, I just keep going over and over it and hate that I was useless.

OP posts:
3rdNamechange · 14/01/2021 23:27

You don't need the number plate. He should have told you who his insurer is. Your insurance should chase this , not put the stress on you.
Hope you're feeling better tomorrow

qwert9873 · 14/01/2021 23:31

You weren't useless, you were pacifying the situation as you had your young child in the car. I'm not sure what else you could have done in the face of all that aggression.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 14/01/2021 23:32

How scary for you. It's not easy to remember what you should do in the heat of the moment especially with somebody being intimidating and worrying about your child. So many people would be exactly the same. He's to blame, not you. He caused the accident, shouted at you and a witness and should have exchanged details.
Have you got a local FB group where you could ask for witnesses?

xyz1000 · 14/01/2021 23:40

Hugs that sounds awful. You was/are in shock so couldn’t think clearly. Must have been quite scary having little one with you too. I would have gone to pieces myself.
Try and listen to some relaxing music to try and relax or something. You can’t do anything tonight so would be better trying to rest and dealing with tomorrow. Sorry you have had such an awful experience. Hope you get his number plate horrible guy he was.

Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 14/01/2021 23:48

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I did post a message on my local fb group but not much response.
I think he was worried about his job and work vehicle which is why he was taking it out on me. I mentioned that I couldn't think while he was shouting and that I had to pick up my son. And he called me a stupid bitch and it was my fault for rushing. I wasn't speeding and I wasn't rushing, I think he was trying to force a gap at the junction to pull out. I've made a cup of tea now. I have my ds 2 with me who is still up for feeding in the night and we are having a cuddle. I just hate that it happened.

OP posts:
PastMyBestBeforeDate · 14/01/2021 23:50

Was there a name on the vehicle?

Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 14/01/2021 23:53

@PastMyBestBeforeDate no there wasn't, not that I can remember but I'm going to see if I can get CCTV tomorrow.
My DH thinks the car is a write off. The wheel is wonky and it doesn't steer properly.

OP posts:
Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 14/01/2021 23:54

@qwert9873 thank you. I really appreciate your rational and calm responses. I feel a bit better about things.

OP posts:
PastMyBestBeforeDate · 15/01/2021 00:08

Hope you get some CCTV footage. It may well be a write off especially if it's older. It's really annoying that somebody doing something stupid and careless really scares and inconveniences you.
Flowers

Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 15/01/2021 01:03

Still can't sleep.
I just keep going over and over it.
I feel so stupid to not get the number plate or the name of the witness who stopped.
I know I can't do anything about it now and I've been given good advice which I can follow in the morning. I just wish I handled it differently. I don't even know if I can prove he was in the wrong.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 15/01/2021 01:07

Have you tried ringing the phone number he gave you? Could your DH ring him tomorrow?

Pantsomime · 15/01/2021 01:15

Hi OP you poor thing- you could ring the police to see if they have cctv you could look at say from the direction he was coming from etc to see if you can spot the car. His reaction makes me think it could have been his fault or he was driving banned or without insurance. Try not to berate yourself, all sorts of things happen when you are in fight or flight, know it wasn’t your fault as he pulled out in front of you and your DS is unharmed they are the main things. Tonight - maybe do a quick list of what you would do next time- ie number plate/ photo/ witness details and decide to put the note in the car just in case - then sleep - we’d all do things differently on slo/mo, benefit of hindsight & without shock

Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 15/01/2021 01:17

@caringcarer thank you, I did but he didn't pick up. My DH is going to ring again tomorrow. I think I should have called the police. I dont know. My mind was solely on picking up my son at that point.

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Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 15/01/2021 01:21

@Pantsomime great advice, thank you. You are so right. My son being safe is the best outcome in this. Trying to stay positive.

OP posts:
chesterfuckingdraws · 15/01/2021 01:22

Contact the police now with the information you have on 101.

By failing to exchange details (contact and car insurance details) with you he has committed road traffic offences.

There may be lines of enquiries the police can carry out on the mobile number and through cctv if it's available to trace the driver and proceed accordingly.

caringcarer · 15/01/2021 01:43

I hope he has given you a false number. It is understandable that you were focused on collecting your son. You were probably in slight shock too with your children in the car.

caringcarer · 15/01/2021 01:44

Hope he has NOT given you a false phone number .

Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 15/01/2021 16:01

Thanks for all the support last night, I really appreciate it. I must have dosed off eventually but work at 4 when dh left for work.
I followed a lot of the advice given to me, so thank you. I did get hold of the man in the end and got his reg. Our accounts differ but I can only tell the truth how I saw it and leave it in the hands of the insurance provider now.

OP posts:
Original poster
HeartsOnAstring · 15/01/2021 16:01

Woke not work!

OP posts:
user1471565182 · 15/01/2021 16:43

How could it possibly be your fault? dont let the prick get to you. The sort of twat who has to scream at others because hes put everybody in danger. Just get out of those situations and deal with it later.