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Original poster

What age do you think your kids were/are when life gets a bit easier?

78 replies

RoseGoldEagle · 14/01/2021 14:58

I have a 4 year old, almost 2 year old and 3 month old. I adore them, but find it very tough, especially with our nursery being closed and DH working away a lot. Anyone tell me at what age it gets a bit better/easier??!!

OP posts:
Neverdoubtilove · 14/01/2021 22:32

what... I have a 5 and 7... they make a mess when they get their own cereal or have no self regulation with ham in the fridge. One has given the other a bloody nose TWICE while I cook. Every time they are quiet for more than 5 minutes it's because they have rearranged the furniture to build a den and made an absolute mess. They have illegal sleepovers and raves in each others room. Etc.

Neverdoubtilove · 14/01/2021 22:36

And they also protest and negotiate all the things they used to comply happily as toddlers eg teeth, bath, wipe bum, flush...Terrible sense of self grooming and I am tired of hearing myself nag.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 14/01/2021 22:40

I think the sweet spot is 8-11. Maybe 7-10 for girls.

Also “once they start school” and “once they leave home”. Those are good points.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old 2 year olds 3-6 months old 4 year olds
MrsFogi · 14/01/2021 22:42

4-13 - enjoy the golden years!

Caterina99 · 15/01/2021 02:17

Mine are 5 and 3. DS and then DD. I feel things are a lot easier than they were a year ago.

They play together, we are done with naps and nappies and at least the older one can get himself ready so I just have one to help get dressed, wipe bum etc. They both sleep all night!

I can actually let them go out in the (fenced in) garden by themselves and not need to be out there too I just keep an eye on them from indoors, or they can be in another room playing and I’m fairly confident all is fine. Eldest can switch on tv, and help youngest with things.

They do fight, but also can play really nicely together for hours. I’m confident things are going to get better and could not go back to the baby and little toddler days!

2 is a hard age. I feel they improve physically by 3 anyway. Even if they then become more argumentative!

Silkiechickscat · 15/01/2021 02:41

I would say it got easier when slept through (c 4 months), out of nappies (2.5ish) then easier again when can walk themselves to school and back - depends how close you are but if close from y5 or so. I only had 2 though. Starting school made things more difficult as very hard to get childcare and had to adjust hours to school hours.

LongIslandIcedT · 15/01/2021 05:54

School aged. Get themselves up and dressed and can make a basic breakfast and amuse themselves.

GreekOddess · 15/01/2021 06:25

It started to get easier when the youngest started school.

The early days are tough but make the most of them. I have found that once they are both in school the years just fly by.

Insertfunnyname · 15/01/2021 06:27

My youngest turning 3-4 was a game changer.

WouldLoveToGoOnHoliday · 15/01/2021 06:56

DD is 21 and it’s more difficult than ever. As someone else said - each stage has its highs and lows.

Don’t focus on the negatives - I do know it’s tiring- right now they love you and think you’re wonderful.

When you look back - this will possibly be your best stage.

DipSwimSwoosh · 15/01/2021 07:14

I think it depends on your personality and also theirs.
I had a 4, 2 and newborn, and loved it. We didn't use nursery, we were all happier at home together. Very different as there was no pandemic.
However, the middle one was a very difficult toddler. Now she is 5 she is a hundred times easier. The little one has only ever been dead easy and is 3 now. She didn't go through the terrible 2s.
It's still very hands on, but only a few years on from you we have

  • no more nappies
  • no more tantrums
  • no baby paraphernalia
  • eldest 2 can read, making bedtime easier
  • more independent. For example, the eldest can get his own breakfast, get dressed, leave him to shower or bath, brush his own teeth etc.
  • they generally all sleep through the night

So around the time the middle one started school was easier for us. But if the middle one had been 3 now, it would still be much more full on!

Itsamess8456 · 15/01/2021 07:19

I have 3 children of the same age gap. I do remember those early years as being incredibly hard - the time flew past though!

Mine are now 14, 11, 9. I find it a million times easier.

I can have a lie in every weekend if I wanted.

They are independent of their own basic care.
They don't don't 'want/need' your attention every single minute of every day.

DH and I could pop out for an hour to a local restaurant (pre covid) and leave them home.

They were ridiculously cute though when they were young and I'd love to go back for a day and snuggle them again.

Marmite27 · 15/01/2021 07:23

I found it easier just before they turned 3.

Big steps for me were when they could walk (approx 1 year old for mine), say sentences (around 2/ 2 and a half) and potty trained. 2 and a half / 3.

My eldest was at this stage when my youngest was born and I cried at the thought of ‘going back to the beginning’. Youngest is just there right now, thank fuck. It’s been a long 3 years Grin

Bl3ss3dm0m · 15/01/2021 07:49

I have a 40 year old child, and two others in their 30's, I will try and remember to tell you when it gets easier!

Mol1628 · 15/01/2021 07:55

Age 6.
My youngest is almost 6 and I am finding the same as I did with his brother.
Less moaning. More independent. Able to read which makes life easier. Just really nice company.

I don’t like babies/toddlers.

bluepie · 15/01/2021 08:07

I always found 3 a magic age in terms of freedom at least, not feeling like we were slave to a routine, no napping (mixed blessing), sleeping through, toilet trained, no push chair etc.

But I think it's from primary school age where I could enjoy parenting more, and since my eldest was about 8 it's been a really lovely age.

PhilCornwall1 · 15/01/2021 08:12

18 and 13 year olds here and it's fair to say, for the last couple of years we've "had our lives back" and can do what we want, when we want. They do their own thing and very rarely want to do what we do.

Go for a walk when we want, fancy a couple of beers out on a Saturday afternoon , we just go. Same for a meal out if we want one, we can just go and they are glad we do!! Grin

Seeline · 15/01/2021 08:30

I would've said 18, when they go to uni, but this year the worry hasn't even stopped for that! The phone call from DS telling me he had tested positive when he was nearly 200 miles away, isolating in halls with limited means of getting food etc was not good!

I think it's fair to say that each stage has its own challenges, and individual circumstances will decide whether they are easier or harder than the last.

bluepie · 15/01/2021 08:52

I think those that say "it's always hard" miss the point of the question. Of course parenting children and adults will always have some challenges, but never are parents in so much demand with their lives revolving around the child to the extent it's needed under the age of 3. The child literally needs you to live, that is not the same for (most) 18 year olds.

When I had children I knew it was a life long commitment and that you never stop worrying about them, but being a parent to a 1 year old is vastly different to being a parent to a 10 year old, and no doubt very different again to an 18 year old.

It is very obvious that when someone is asking when does it get easier, they are asking when are they less physically in demand and unless you have a child with specific needs, no 10, 18 or 30 year old will need you to the extent a baby or toddler does. The worry might increase depending on the type of parent you are, but the physical demands decrease dramatically.

Bagelsandbrie · 15/01/2021 08:54

6-9 is a great stage. Young enough to enjoy all the kiddy stuff but old enough to generally keep themselves safe ish and amuse themselves a bit more.

Toddlers and teenagers are hell.

formerbabe · 15/01/2021 09:04

@Bagelsandbrie

6-9 is a great stage. Young enough to enjoy all the kiddy stuff but old enough to generally keep themselves safe ish and amuse themselves a bit more.

Toddlers and teenagers are hell.

Completely agree!
WouldLoveToGoOnHoliday · 15/01/2021 09:46

It is physically exhausting when teenagers stay up later than you, and also roam the house at night after they’ve been out or finished gaming.

Yes, we have laid down the law in lockdown.

bluepie · 15/01/2021 09:50

@WouldLoveToGoOnHoliday I'm sorry but that's not the same as getting up hourly to breastfeed! Then being up at 6am to a little one ready to start the day, incessant crying as they can't communicate. Absolutely no one can convince me teenagers are as physically exhausting as babies, mentally draining sure, physically exhausting, nope.

Skullcup · 15/01/2021 09:56

Having had a two year age gap between my two DC, I think you are absolutely bonkers to have had another one OP!! I remember looking at my youngest when he was two and questioning how I managed with a baby as well!

When mine were 4 and 2 was then I hit my lowest point I think. Things seemed to pick up when my youngest was 3. I went back to work full time then and started getting myself back again.

They're 5 and 7 now. I like this age now.

formerbabe · 15/01/2021 10:06

@WouldLoveToGoOnHoliday

It is physically exhausting when teenagers stay up later than you, and also roam the house at night after they’ve been out or finished gaming.

Yes, we have laid down the law in lockdown.

My ds is 12 and he's sent up to bed between 9_9.30...last night he was still awake at 11.30pm. It's really hard especially in lockdown as I feel like I never get any childfree time. I miss the days of putting them to bed at 7pm and having the evening to myself
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