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Keeping calm when falsely accused

3 replies

Imkindreally · 13/01/2021 20:55

Sadly will need to be vague for various reasons... apologies in advance.

I recently made a complaint to a company regarding a service i received. Initially I made an enquiry in person regarding the complaint, speaking calmly and even at one point complimenting an a different aspect of the service. Sadly the person I spoke wasnt receptive and initially stated my complaint wasn’t valid / based on evidence, then when I mentioned some evidence to support my claim, backtracked and admitted some failings but certainly not to the extent I felt was appropriate. The conversation ended politely enough with us agreeing to disagree.

It’s important to mention there were witnesses to this exchange who report it appeared to be a normal conversation that was only noticed because it held up their chance to speak to that person.

I decided with no resolution to make a formal complaint that took me a day or so to compete because I asked my DH to check it to ensure it was factual rather than emotional, and was measured and a fair reflection of events. This was important to me as I was aware others making similar complaints have been accused of being over emotional etc.

Today I found my complaint hasn’t been upheld due to the company denying they accepted partial responsibility but more upsettingly citing I was “ very aggressive” and the company staff member felt “ fearful”.

I’m surprised by how much this has upset me given I expected some denial / their version of events to be different however the extent to which they’ve misrepresented the event is shocking.

This week sadly I have to engage with this company and I need to remain calm and measured in my responses but I’m finding it really hard given the above.

Any practical tips?

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 14/01/2021 06:21

Very difficult without more information. For example, you mention it is a service based company...so the advice I would give you would differ according to the sort and size of the business.

A local car mechanic
The NHS
A local taxi firm
An advertising agency

I would approach each one differently.

Why can't you say more? Are you taking them to court?

KatherineJaneway · 14/01/2021 07:02

As Fortunes said without more information it is hard to advise.

You say you were calm and the conversation ended with 'agreeing to disagree' however a person doesn't have to shout or raise their voice to someone in order to make that someone upset. Equally the member of staff could have lied about your behaviour to get out of being in trouble.

theantsgomarchin · 14/01/2021 07:15

I mean there's being vague, and then there's this.

There's absolutely no way you're going to get practical or useful advice when you've given so little information other than "a company" has skewed a version of events and you want to know how you can stay calm and measured about it.

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