Pre-covid 'normal' life starting to feel like I dreamed it all

[Magicpaintbrush]

I was just looking through some photos from 2019 of a family get together at my parents house with nieces and nephews, my siblings etc, all so normal compared to now - and I realised that as I was looking at them that life from 'before' (pre-covid) is starting to feel like a dream I had. That's not good?! I work from home anyway and have done for years so am used to being at home a lot, but the smallness of the world now is starting to make 'normal' life feel like something distant and dreamlike and just really odd. It made me feel really sad that I'm now so used to going nowhere and seeing nobody (other than DH and DD) that my old life seems less real now, like I imagined it or something.

Does anybody else feel like that?

Yeah it feels weird to see. I was looking at some photos from a couple of years ago at busy Spanish festival and it looked so strange. We took it for granted. What also makes me feel so weird and sad is the videos Facebook often shows me of big studio tv shows like someone performing really well on the X factor or BGT. I never really watched those shows but the joy people get from good performers and seeing hundreds of people sitting side my side makes me want to weep with nostalgia and fear that it will never be the same again.

Yes. It’s hard to imagine ever having been in a busy pub or at a crowded stadium. This pandemic life seems oddly normal now.

I sometimes watch tv programmes made pre-2020 and notice that the actors aren’t distanced, which seems odd.

I said exactly the same to DH tonight. Even watching the TV I'll see normal things like people clubbing and think 'oh my god that looks so dangerous'. Similarly with football, I LOVE that feeling of being in a big crowd all experiencing the same emotions at the same time, a real collective experience... I'm starting to forget what it feels like.
My perception of risk is all skewed too, I didn't want to let DH drive to work yesterday (key worker) because sleet was forecast and I'm terrified he'll crash and there will be no ambulances or hospital beds if he needs them.
I'm worried that it will take a long time to get back to normal after this mentally, and I'm very very concerned about the effect it's having on my children.

Yes I agree that it will take a while to re-adjust back to a life which has freedom again. I do believe that we will get back to a life of hugging and mask-free shopping eventually, but it will really be weird to get used to it after having our wings clipped for so long. Firstly feeling confident enough to believe it's safe to do stuff again, and then just the weirdness of actually doing it. Though maybe things will generally feel better in the Spring/Summer when we can get a bit of sun on our faces and feel a bit more alive. The winter just compounds it all.

No. I feel like that about life before my DH died because that’s permanent. Covid restrictions will pass.

I know what you mean. @GreenClock I often find myself thinking 'they're not distancing!' when watching stuff on TV. I've been working at home for months now and when I had to go to my workplace on one specific occasion I couldn't remember the usual route, when I've been doing that journey for years!

However, I have noticed before that when I've been forced into a different routine for weeks at a time it quickly comes to seem normal, yet when I later resume my previous routines, they seem strange for a day or two but then feel normal again quickly. I am guessing that the same will happen with Covid and that the first weekend of 'normal' going out will seem really weird but then it'll normalise again.

@tunnocksreturns2019 sorry for your loss. You're right, that is different

I know what you mean. Lockdown 1 felt such a major deal, shops being closed, people furloughed (remember when we had never even heard of this word?) the world as we know it turned on its head. Lockdown 2 just came with a world-weary sigh and total resignation. Normal life seems quite alien now, a lot of people will take a long time to get used to it again.

Read somewhere that after the Spanish flu it ushered in the roaring twenties. Everybody partied for the next few years. Here's hoping 🥂 🍾

Yeah, me. I heard people saying they felt like this and I didn't get it then, but something has changed in me recently and I do now.

DS (10) said recently that he can't remember what normal is like anymore.

It's 9.8% of his life.

I reminded him about going to swim for fun (has managed an interrupted string of lessons), days out, holiday, being spontaneous, seeing friends and going to houses.

He went 5 months without seeing his best friend.
DS (7) hasn't bonded with his friends since gertting back to school and now they're split again.

I miss the simplicity and spontenaity of life. Things to look forwards to.

I barely know what day it is and can't track events because of the monotony.

Totally with you on this. Wish we can go back to normal life at some point x

2019 feels like reading an Edwardian novel, a lovely age of innocence tinged with a deep sadness for the inevitable.

I know what you mean... DS was 4 months old when we went into lockdown, this time last year was our NCT reunion and I just keep thinking how happy and naïve we all were, clueless as to what was coming, how many lovely plans we had for our babies’ first year that ended up being wrecked. DS barely knows any other face besides mine and DHs and he’s way too used to seeing us in masks. He’s barely been anywhere other than our tiny flat. I feel so angry that this has been most of his life.

I feel like this too, my life is now is so different. I try am be upbeat for my DC who are young adults and have mental health issues but inside I feel like crying. I miss my old life so much, my DH is WFH and I’m really struggling with this. I really , really miss swimming and going to the cinema, I know it sounds petty. I’ve met two friends, one at a time for an outside walking around coffee which was so nice and helps.
I see things on TV from the past and think I can’t believe we were allowed to do that.

Whilst that life feels very distant now, I think it will come back very quickly, because people want it to. Look how busy Christmas markets etc were, and how fast holiday cottages booked up during the summer respite. A very cautious few will struggle to re-adjust but the vast majority will start doing all these things as soon as it's allowed.

I certainly will. My friend who has a lot of COVID anxiety won’t.

I watch tv, and it looks so WRONG. People close to each other in crowds.

I hate fb memories popping up. One popped up of last years work Xmas meal. My colleagues are wonderful. All sitting on each other’s knees, hugging, kissing etc. Made me proper cry.

I've had the virus and I'm not really nervous about it in general, abide by distancing and hand washing etc.

But I get the oddest lurch when I see people not distancing on TV, like a twitch in my brain. It doesn't happen in real life when I see meet ups in the park, just on TV.

I miss swimming with the children
I miss going out for a meal as a family
I miss cinema dates with DH
I miss theatre dates with DH
I miss going out just to browse round the shops

I basically just miss my freedom of choice so much 😕

I feel bereft for my children more than anything because i'll suck it up and take it but they aren't old enough to properly understand all this and why their world has suddenly become so much smaller.

Has social distancing infiltrated everyone's dreams now too?

DH and I always say it when we see films or TV programmes with crowded pubs or whatever. Just can’t happen now, very strange.

No, this is fleeting. Things will get better here, unlike life in many other countries.

We're doing OK here, all things considered, but God I miss having places to just fucking go. The pub. The trampoline park. Soft play. PILs house. Museums. The theatre.

I did get the weirdness on TV of watching people get close late in the first lockdown but I'm over it now.

We were watching The Avengers last night which has a scene of an event at an opera house with everyone in formal wear and I felt a physical pang.

We're a family that's always doing things and going places. I miss culture - museums, galleries, cinema, theatre etc. I hate having to book everything a week in advance, like National Trust places, there's no spontaneity any more.

We went out for a walk yesterday in the lovely sunshine, along with loads of other people because there was literally nothing else to do!