Tell me what you *love* about being in your 50s, please

[bdaygal]

I'm just about to turn 50. Please inspire me by telling me what you love about turning 50, being a fifty-something. What makes this decade great.

Anything inspiring you or other fifty-something women are doing or have done?

Thank you!

No periods
Retired and went back on my own terms .....Only Covid has fucked that up
Grown children flown the nest
Impending grandparenthood
No mortgage
Wisdom ...often hard won but nonetheless there

I no longer care what people think of me I dress to -lease me jeans and t shirts.

My career has really taken off, I feel experienced and confident in my role. I've safely got one child all the way to university so can use him a shield now to prove my epic parenting skills 😄😂

What I loved about my 50s was that it wasn't my 70s. 50 was great, working in a high powered job, respected as a professional and wage earner.

I'm in my 70s, I'm physically frightened of my D D's partner ( has threatened me only once, but that's all it took) and now emotionally frightened of my DD, she belittles me every chance she gets. I foolishly signed my house over to DD some years ago.

As soon as this pandemic is over, if I'm still alive, I'll move out of my house to rent a flat. I've been researching these in my area for a while.

Now i m stuck in a house where I command no respect at all.

Wish everyone would shut up gloating about no periods though, I'm as regular as bloody clockwork.

Happy and satisfied with my lot. Content. I'm 52.

My children are grown up and forging their own paths ..one will always be at home (special needs ) but even he is much less dependent than anticipated and he's a lovely lad so not a real hardship.

4 years left on the mortgage and counting...

I've gone part time at work, got a dog, have long walks and brain space.

I've taken up a new hobby

I've embraced ME... dumped the hair dye and now have long grey streaked hair that I love, I've stopped trying to be a sociable and allow myself time alone. I do my job then come home and don't give it a second thought.
I'm going to be a Granny in April and am excited to be able to help out with child care and am watching my DD2 change shape with awe and delight..I'm already filled with love for the little creature growing who will be the next generation of our family, and incredibly grateful that they have chosen to live near us.

So far (53) this decade is good...

CAMPERVAN - I hear you! 54 and still having them. A little more irregular the last 3 months but still...inhave had enough now. 41 years and still-???

I am not fifty yet, but when I get there I am going to embrace it.
I actually look better now than I did previously because I have more time to take care of myself. I am fitter, slimmer and feel great.
The only negative is that older relatives, friends are beginning to die.

I prefer my fifties to my forties. I was still having periods in my forties but thankfully have had the menopause and no longer have them and that has been a huge difference in my life as I had very heavy periods which really got me down.

I wear my hair long and it’s become much thicker and I think it’s in better condition although that might be because I brush it

My skin is better.

Financially, I’m better off and retired so my time and money are my own.

It is important to eat less if your don’t want to get fat.

I’ve always been outspoken but people tend to take you much more seriously when you are older.

I get more attention from men than when I did a few years ago as I don’t have any stress in my life now.

@user1471453601

What I loved about my 50s was that it wasn't my 70s. 50 was great, working in a high powered job, respected as a professional and wage earner.

I'm in my 70s, I'm physically frightened of my D D's partner ( has threatened me only once, but that's all it took) and now emotionally frightened of my DD, she belittles me every chance she gets. I foolishly signed my house over to DD some years ago.

As soon as this pandemic is over, if I'm still alive, I'll move out of my house to rent a flat. I've been researching these in my area for a while.

Now i m stuck in a house where I command no respect at all.

that sounds awful for you. Can you talk to anyone? Good luck with the flat

I care soooo much less what others think.

I don't have to think about conceiving or looking after small kids

I'm not hankering after status at work

I've got a bigger house, more space, more privacy.

I'm not paranoid about making friends or fitting in.

My body hasn't quite given up on me yet.!

We still have a set of grandparents which is lovely for my kids (21) (15)

@WiseOwlRelaxing around Jerez we hope.
We’ve been trying to get out there for a look round. Last year we drove from Alicante to Marbella in a week looking for places. We only found one town.
Using the magic of the internet we have decided that the Sherry triangle is a small enough area to look at.
Fingers crossed for late 2021

I am 4 weeks away from being 50. Still got a hefty mortgage and children at home, still working on a promotion at work. Still working FT and running a busy household, albeit not as busy during lockdown. I think the next decade will be when I slow down and make time for myself.

Watching with interest as I turned 46 yesterday, so a few years to go but not that long. At the moment I am looking forward to no periods (they are at the messing around stage at the moment), more independence cause my boys are getting older (currently nearly 11 and nearly 14 but its on the horizon), getting my new career as a copy writer established. Dont think I'll have financial freedom for a while as I'm not a high earner. Hoping that me and DH will get more time together and get closer, he is in his 50s already.

[quote Mydogisagentleman]@WiseOwlRelaxing around Jerez we hope.
We’ve been trying to get out there for a look round. Last year we drove from Alicante to Marbella in a week looking for places. We only found one town.
Using the magic of the internet we have decided that the Sherry triangle is a small enough area to look at.
Fingers crossed for late 2021[/quote]
Oh wow, thanks for that! I will ''go there'' on google maps earth now.

Not to stalk you

It's just interesting to me to hear what you thought.

@user1471453601 that is an awful situation. Don't try and manage it on your own. Can you get in touch with Women's Aid?

@user1471453601 even if they can't magically undo signing over the house to your daughter they might be able to ''put the pair of them on notice'' which is an important factor in reducing the abuse you might be subject to if they didn't feel 'on notice'. WA might be able to give you some support or avenues of support. It must be such an isolating experience

I am 51 and it is amusing to hear my late 40's friends panicking about being 50. It is not a big deal. It doesn't bother me one bit.

Fo me, I think a lot of my ease with being 50 is because apparently I don't look it. I get a lot of gasps when someone finds out how old I am which is very flattering. My DH says I am like a fine red wine, getting better with age. Thank you . As I age, I have not let myself go, but am not anxious about getting older. I want to age gracefully.

The best thing for me is that I don't get hassled by men any more. I haven't had this since my 40's but I feel it more now and I like the anonymity. Young women get hassled a lot and I remember being in a few sticky situations where I felt in the wrong. After a certain age you really do become invisible to men, but they are flattering themselves if they think we give a shit. We are glad of it.

I am also happy with what I have done with my life. I have travelled a lot, lived abroad for many years and I have DC and a nice DH (sometimes). I don't have any regrets or anything urgent I need to tick off the list.

Moving forward I would like to achieve more things in my life. One of the main things is I would like to make more female friends to take me into the next few decades with great friendships and fun times.

I’m fitter than I’ve ever been. My DH says I look amazing and prettier than in my 20s 😃

I have started a new career and love it. I am softer and kinder, willing to let things slide. Happier and more content than I can remember. And oh, my sex drive has gone up massively 🤷‍♀️

50 this year and marking my place

I have spent my whole life worrying about being older. I wish I had known how I would feel in my 50’s. I have older teens and still a biggish mortgage so not financially free but I have never been happier. I had crippling health anxiety in my 40’s but it lifted as soon as I hit 50. I took up horse riding again and it opened up a whole new world. I do barre. My eyesight has gone but the upside is, I think I look pretty good, all things considered. I buy less but well and my appearance is now the least interesting thing about myself, I feel.

And yes, definitely softer and kinder and I don’t sweat the small stuff. Can at be the introvert I always wanted to be. My dcs can organise their own social lives ( bloody hooray).

 Only downside is knowing it won’t last forever in a very definite way.

@user1471453601

You should not be living in fear every day. That IS NOT acceptable.

Nor should you feel belittled and disrespected in your own home.

I don't know how you get your DD and her partner out but that's what needs to happen. Why should you have to rent?

I think you need proper legal advice from a solicitor. Most of them give you half an hour free for a first consultation. That should give you some idea of what can be done to help you in this situation.

Women's Aid is also a great idea for support. Feeling frightened, belittled and disrespected is domestic abuse.

Thank you to all of you who have posted supportive messages.

I'm not in immediate family danger, though there has been an interesting development. Daughter and I had a brief exchange and I said I thought her reply was cruel, it seemed to be mocking my mental health. She told me what she said was a joke and id just taken it the wrong way.

As I usually do, to avoid confrontation, I left it and kept pretty much to my living room. I was accused, in a cruel twist of fate, of being a bully,because I was being quiet,thereby bullying them. I was told I was disgraceful to bully a 50 year old woman ( my daughter) and I was asked to imagine how bad they felt watching me getting more and more frail.

To those who suggest I somehow get them to leave, well, it really doesn't matter which way it goes. I doubt they can pay the utility bills that i now pay (the house was mortgage free when I signed it over to mydaughter) or that I could manage on my own in this large house.

Im now thinking about looking into some form of assisted living. It won't solve the problems my daughter and her partner have about paying the bills, but after today, I'm no longer thinking that their problems are ones I have to solve

Again, thanks for the sympathetic responses