Milk never came?

[BottleNapChangeRepeat]

Luckily I never wanted to breast feed because even if I wanted to I couldn't have. I had absolutely no milk, not even a drop on a breast pad. Boobs didn't go tender either, midwife just kept saying oh it'll come and when it does you will be in pain then. Has anyone else had similar or know why the milk never came through? I have tried to Google but can't find what I'm looking for. Not really fussed just keeps crossing my mind.

we are not evolved to bring up our babies in isolation, but in social groups. It is therefore not necessary for every woman to produce milk, as long as someone in the group does,

I don’t produce breast milk and have been told it’s hormonal .

Given that there are women who genuinely don't produce milk or not enough, people who wrongly interpret baby behavior as not enough milk "my milk never seemed to satisfy him, he was a different baby on formula" and those who never wanted to BF but don't feel able to say this it must be a nightmare to get accurate statistics.

I agree that the current situation where only successful breastfeeding is talked about antenatally does make things even more distressing for those who have to use formula. When mine went to NICU and we were asked what formula we wanted I remember thinking "fuck knows, I was hoping to breastfeed". I felt so guilty at the time.

Did your breasts grow at all in pregnancy? Are they unusually shaped / 'tubular' in appearance? Insufficient glandular tissue is a little more common than people sometimes appreciate. It's very rare to produce no milk at all, but does occasionally happen.

@BottleNapChangeRepeat - this happened to me with both pregnancies. The difference was the lactation consultants. The first time, I expressed my feelings about lack of breast growth during pregnancy or afterwards, no feeling of “let-down”, no “tingles” or physical response to my baby crying, etc. I was practically passing out while trying to breastfeed, however... weird. After about three weeks I had a screamy, scrawny baby and I was exhausted and stressed and “gave up”. (Was also abused in a baby change room, which was ever so helpful - not.) Then the next pregnancy was twins. The lactation consultant came in and tried to help out and saw me crying. She said that my boobs were the wrong shape for someone who was five days out from giving birth to two babies let alone one, and ordered an ultrasound to check them out. Guess who has only four milk ducts in total? (Most women have at least 32 in each breast.) My brain was producing all the hormones but they nowhere to go, which explains the feeling of passing out. According to the lactation consultant it is quite common (but not limited to) women whose mothers smoked heavily while pregnant with them. Mine did. She is convinced that one day this will be a syndrome, along with the tiny scars all through the brain as though I had smoked all my life too. (Yep.)

Around 2% of women do not produce milk - of course that means 98% can but you could be one of the small percentage that genuinely can't breastfeed. Of course most people who claim they couldn't either didn't try, didn't like the idea, preemie baby, didn't realise it needs to be learned so takes time to get right, pressure from others etc. Bit of a militant feeder here but some simply cannot

@SarahAndQuack

I'm also remembering the very insistent advice to bottle-feed DD expressed colustrum, on the grounds that it was better for DD. Perhaps it was, I don't know - but it sticks in my mind that they always insisted that expressing was no different from breastfeeding, so even when DP felt able to try, and before DD got too lethargic to suck, it wasn't encouraged. No acknowledgment that a baby might be different from a pump at all.

This is terrible support! I'm so sorry she was let down like that.

I found expressing colostrum was just an exercise in anger management, as modern pumps have so many parts to enable lack of contact with non-sterilisable parts, the colostrum would come out in gummy drips and dry up while still in the mechanism. It was actually better with the ancient 90s pump we ended up getting from the pharmacy that had two speed settings: Nipple Destroyer or Jet Engine :o because at least it just plopped directly into the bottle.

The pump only removes milk, the suction action is different, and you don't have any of the hormonal/pheremone related feedback of skin to skin so it really is quite a different thing to your body. Better than nothing, of course, but not always enough by itself. If you do need to pump it can help to smell some of the baby's clothes and look at pictures or better videos of them.

It’s really hard and common in the beginning to believe your milk isn’t coming in but the baby has to suck for it to happen. I had twins by c section and we were pretty well established after 2 weeks in hospital, ended up BF’ing for a year. The beginning was hard as hell and a lot of people mistake the little and often stage as not making enough. I also never leaked and breast growth was minimal so I’d personally not use those as measures of success.

Me! No breast soreness during pregnancy, no engorgement afterwards - I gave away three unopened boxes of breast pads.

I don’t know if it’s linked to PCOS, which I have fairly severely.

I got some colostrum with my first, but she had a tongue tie and I was having to pump exclusively, so I switched to FF. Colostrum just went away and that was it. Never had any feeling of anything else happening.

Second time I went straight to FF and never even had a drop of colostrum. No engorgement or leaking or anything. Maybe a vague itch on one nipple??

My midwife said it was due to lack of stimulation, and to leave my boobs well alone if I wasn't planning to use them! 🤣

YY, I remember the colostrum drying up!

I think it's very difficult to get good BF support in a hospital setting - they're just so busy.

@Timeturnerplease yes, there is a known correlation with reduced milk supply and PCOS. I'm sorry you weren't armed with that information at the right time.