How to become more optimistic?

[IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece]

A friend has just told me she finds it difficult to talk to me about things because of how unoptimistic I am, which was incredibly hard to hear and something I want to take on board immediately and change.

I have no idea where to start so I’d love some ideas on how to literally start being more positive and any books/podcasts as a good starting point.

TIA

I am a firm believer that one should never attribute to conspiracy what can be adequately explained as a cock up.

I genuinely find this means I am less pessimistic about everything because there’s less sense of personal injustice to me.

Hi OP, I have a similar natural reaction to pretty much all information. I naturally fear the worst and catastrophise. It's not a trait about myself I like at all and I've been actively trying to change it but the last year hasn't helped.

In my case I know that it comes from my need to be very prepared - I prefer to have planned for the worst outcome, as then if it happens I already know what to do, and if it doesn't then that's great. BUT I'm trying to focus on the fact that what I consider to be the likely worst outcome rarely actually happens anyway, so it's not actually a useful strategy.

It's very hard as I often find that things so simply go wrong. Even if not in the way I expect. So it does feel a bit like confirmation bias

About what are you not optimistic? Your friend might just be projecting her own need to stay upbeat, why do you need to change? I'm listening to a book called 12 (13?) Things Mentally Resililient (Strong?) People Don't Do. I think it pretty much covers the whole skill of staying upbeat.

Can you give examples of things people say and how you respond?