Feeling shit about my parenting now I'm home schooling

[Deinosavros]

Does anyone else feel like this?

Last lockdown I was working so my kids (10 and 8) went to school (I'm an NHS HCP). This time around I'm on maternity leave so I'm home schooling instead whilst looking after my 3 month old.

My kids don't seem to be able to do a single thing without my input. They can't access their learning platform, they don't seem to be able to navigate it once logged in (it's fairly straightforward). My eldest (now 11) hasn't got a clue how to use her Outlook, even to check for new emails from her teachers. My 8 year old can't read a single question set by her teacher without looking to me to explain it to her. Her reading comprehension is basically non existent.

I feel like I've failed them. It never occurred to me that I need to teach them basic IT skills. My youngest's grasp of maths, in particular her times tables, is awful. Which I don't understand because she spends so much time on the Times Tables rockstars learning platform she loves. I've let everything slide and assumed the school would teach them everything.

I'm currently hiding in the living room breastfeeding the baby to see if my presence is making them more dependent, but they just keep coming through asking the most basic of questions. I haven't let on to the children how I feel, I don't want to destroy their confidence so I've been so patient, but inside I just want to cry at how much I've let them down. And now I feel like I'm drowning in responsibility between them and the baby who has been basically ignored the past couple of days in order to focus on basic school work.

Oh mine do this (age 8 and 6) often they CAN do things and think for themselves but they just go into shutdown mode. It’s so frustrating!
They’re not like it at school and the more I get cross the more they shut off from things and appear more incapable. So this lockdown I’ve hardly bothered. Just done the basics with them and done more of the things I know they love.

OP you are definitely not alone and I’m a teacher!

DCs aged 12 and 14 are actually better this lockdown than the first when our house was constantly in a state of high tension.
The reason for this is the introduction of live lessons where they are held accountable for their attendance. I take my hat off to all the teachers at their school for adapting to this new approach.

Nothing beats face to face teaching —and having the house to myself—though so roll on March.

You need to tell him it's the law and they have to learn there.

Op it sounds like your 8 year old could do with extra help. Can you afford a tutor for a bit to give her a boost?

I'd get some learning books like cpg or Carol voderman and go through the basics with her but get the 6 to 7 ones first

Can she read well? If not go back to basics with her eg flash cards for hfw.
Make her read even one page everyday.
Use bribes, negotiating, screen time.. Money, sweets, anything to get her going.. Re the tables maybe she does know them but was confused by the way they were asked.

If you can simply get a tutor to go through the basics it would be a massive help to sort her out now.

BTW my dd can't do anything independently either and I'm hoping to work on this with her, I've ordered some age specific books on reading comprehension a few years behind actually to build up her confidence with easy things then too work up.

All these things are skills and if they don't naturally do it as some dc do, they just need to be taught and practice.

Thank you all again for the support and sorry to hear so many people are experiencing the same.

Today has been slightly better for DD1 at least. She's been able to access her learning and managed to sort her emails out. I felt awful by the end of the day though, she did school work from 9-5 and still didn't finish it all! It's not that she had masses to do, but it was a slow process accessing and completing everything.

DD2 unfortunately has continued to struggle (but has given it a good go). We have ended up hiring a private tutor to go through maths with both DC today, which was a bit of a godsend. Again I feel a little guilty because I wasn't a huge advocate of private tutoring, but given they're not getting actual face to face teaching at the moment I've let go of my principles a bit!