If you know an adult with LD, how do they spend their days?

[TravellingSpoon]

Posting in chat for traffic.

Have had the double whammy of DLA renewal and annual review come at once and having a bit of a wobble, thinking about DS's future.

So, if you have a family member or friend with LD, what do they do during the day?

I work with adults with learning disabilities and high support needs who are mostly non verbal.

In normal times, we go swimming, to the zoo, discos, meals out, beach trips, shopping, other days out depending on their interests. We facilitate holidays too.

At the moment we are doing jigsaws, Lego, lots of singing and dancing, playing with sensory toys, baking, pamper sessions, arts and crafts, walks, trips to drive through takeaways.

I know 3: one is early 20s and goes to a specialist college and mainly does dance lessons and watches tiktok

One is mid-30s: lives at home, had jobs on and off, enjoys gaming

One was none verbal as child now does desk job at police.

So very varied!

jamesfailedmarshmallows
“Golden does this apply to everyone with an EHCP?”

Nope, only those with more severe needs. But all should get ‘adulthood’ planning.

A neighbour's son is in his late 20s with LD, including ASD. Until last year he has always worked - in a care home first and then in a cafe. He's active in the local church and has a good social life via his family. I know another woman in her 60s now who has LD. She works in the local supermarket - has for years, helps at the church creche and also seems to have a full life. Both of them needed to be taught very thoroughly how to do basic things but now do them well - better than those of us who forget sometimes or just wing it.

@GlitterSandcastle

It depends on the scale, surely? My uncle lived with a sister until he died and was barely capable of speech, let alone a job or anything like that. My brother has autism and he's married with children. My husband has ADHD and pretty severe dyslexia and some sensory issues and he's obviously married with kids and has had two rather distinguished careers. My friend's daughter will never be able to do anything without full care.

It does depend on the scale, you are right. But ASD and ADHD are not learning disabilities.

My son has ASD and LD, he is in a specialist setting and will need support for his whole life. He wont ever be able to live independently. His future and what he will do with it, and be able to do with it, scares me more than anything in the world.

We are lucky that we live in a major city, and I know there is lots going on, so I am hopeful that he will find something he enjoys. I just get really worried about his future in general.

And yes, he does have an EHCP so I am hoping once he reaches 19, and has to leave his current school, he will be able to go to a specialist college for 2 years which buys me some time.

Older relative, early 60's, lives with his brother (brother is 65+) and sil. Normally day centre 3 days per week, respite for a week around every 8 weeks. He does the normal old person stuff, they go for coffee, walks, shopping, gardening. Right now it's just staying at home and is harder for them as no respite and the person can be hard work particularly if he's got something on his mind.

I think there are a lot of misunderstandings flying around here - as @TravellingSpoon has said, ADHD and ASD are not Learning Disabilities (although they can occur together with an LD). It is also common for people to think specific learning difficulties (for example dyslexia or illiteracy) are the same as a Learning Disability, when they aren't.

To answer your main question - I have met adults with a learning disability who are in healthy relationships, who have a job or supported work placement, who enjoy living with a flatmate(s) or supported by support workers, who go to college, who like to go to music classes, theatre, cinema, bowling, art, the pub, evening clubs etc. Id say the key is to find your son a living setting and activities that meet his needs, and to continue helping him develop his abilities and activities.

In my area (small town) there are some flat shares with 24 hour carers that seem to work well. The ones I know are young men and they seem to attend the gym regularly (pre covid), and go out walking in the countryside.

@TravellingSpoon

We are lucky that we live in a major city, and I know there is lots going on, so I am hopeful that he will find something he enjoys. I just get really worried about his future in general.

Just to give you a bit of encouragement after a stressful transitions I feel really positive and know that my DS ( severe physical & LDs non verbal) is happy in his adult provision. They are so lovely with him ( Thankyou all you care workers) and every day is varied and well thought out. It’s hard leaving school after 19 years it’s like leaving your family but just to let you know, it can be ok on the other side of transitions.

Yes - in his late thirties with autism and learning disabilities. He has his own flat with 24hr live in support from a team of 1-2-1 workers. He does a mix of part time jobs and work placements. They give structure, some independence and sense of purpose. He does a variety of social activities and is very close to his family. He has a good life and is happy despite the stresses and challenges of Covid. He is much loved by everyone who knows him.

tbh, watching videos & playing computer games. Cuddles with his main carer (mum). He's got early onset dementia and increasingly wheelchair dependent. Very few outings during pandemic.

EHC plan he is also entitled to continued education till he’s 25

Not really
You find it means 3 years of college taken uo to agd 25
Diesnt usually mean seven years from 18 to 25.
In prsctice means leavd school at 18 or 19 thrmen 3 more years maximjm in education
But life beyond is ok
Supported living in community is ok even with complex needs needi ng two to one etc
Dont underestimate
My ds cannot live alone but lives with support away from parents and has grown in independence..more fun with great support workers.

I have 2 cousins (siblings) with learning disabilities, the more severely affected cousin lived in supported housing and did lots of crafts/sewing and visited her family regularly. My other cousin struggled at school but worked in the family business after (kitchen porter/assistant chef), got married and has 2 DC now.

This has made me feel so much happier about my daughters future x

I support a young lady with autism. She has her own flat and is supported by 1 carer 24/7. She probably leads a more active life than me tbh (pre covid). Does work experience on a farm, visits cafes and restaurants, goes swimming weekly, carriage riding weekly, has music therapy sessions, goes on walks, attends gateway club and all the associated activities. At Christmas time she usually goes to 2/3 meal out and dancing events hosted by local organisations. She seems happy

My two friends both have adult children with LD. One lives at home still and does volunteer work at a animal sanctuary and a cafe run by a charity. The other lives independently in a supported living house and has a full timetable of clubs, hobbies and volunteer working. At my local Tesco there is a young man with Down's Syndrome who seems to do a full allotment of shifts and who can tell you where any item is in the store.

My uncle has quite severe cerebral palsy. He can’t live independently. He’s lived with various of his siblings (including my mother) over the years. When he lived with us he went To work with my dad (trades). Last I knew he was living with another sister and he would get up, get his breakfast and lunch ready and get the bus to a centre where he made crafts etc.. to sell. He was quite good at mosaics. There was talk of getting him into supervised living as all the siblings are
Getting on and he is the youngest. Not sure if that’s happened but I know my aunt who has him was moving away a large distance from the rest of the family and wanted him to have some stability where he was.

I manage a charity shop and we have 3 volunteers with LD - they all make a fantastic contribution to the charity and are very valued members of the team. Their learning difficulties are relatively 'mild'' and they are able to come to work independently but in another charity shop in our town the volunteers with LD have carers who work with them.

@Ragwort

I manage a charity shop and we have 3 volunteers with LD - they all make a fantastic contribution to the charity and are very valued members of the team. Their learning difficulties are relatively 'mild'' and they are able to come to work independently but in another charity shop in our town the volunteers with LD have carers who work with them.

It can take time to work out the right roles / placements. Just like everyone, people with LDs will have their own individuals preferences and challenges. My relative tried working in charity shops. He took care of the videos section but they suddenly realised it wouldn’t work out whe. He objected to them being sold it took quite a bit of experimentation and creative thinking - until will settled on the mix of jobs and placements he does today. It was worth it though.

Definitely. Sometimes it just needs some creative thinking, my sister needs a lot of support:cant read, deal with money or travel independently so couldnt work the till or deal with customers, but she is great at untangling jewellery, pre covid she worked upstairs a couple of afternoons a week with an older lady volunteer who she loved, they had tea and biscuits, chatted and it felt really meaningful for my sister. It was something that she did for her and she was proud to be able to say she had a job. She had a couple of seizures there and they really looked after her before my dad could get there.

Agree with all the other posts that it completely depends on capacity. DH's uncle has intellectual disabilities and is a hospital porter, he can get himself to and from work on the bus but can't drive or manage his own money as he falls for every scam (his sisters have shared control over his finances, taking over from their mother when she died). His life is very routine and he is ok as long as nothing changes as he can't deal with it. He must have a wonderful and very supportive team at work because he's been there for decades and loves his job. He is the happiest person I know, can chat all day about banalities and says the same pleasant things over and over but isn't able to hold an in-depth conversation as he quickly gets out of his depth and will just repeat the same stock phrases again like "lovely, lovely" "happy to hear that" or "well it stands to reason".

He is such a wonderful person and I hope he brings sunshine to the people he pushes around in beds and wheelchairs at the hospital.

I think if he didn't have family support it would be ok once everything was set up for him but be very tough when things changed or went wrong - he would have to have some kind of appointed guardian or social worker to support him.

I’m just wondering if there’s a self advocacy organisation near you that you could link up with?

They often have friendship groups activity hubs, etc

As well as being the voice of the people with LD and autism.

This is something that has been on my mind a bit recently too. DS who has autism is 16 next month and should have been doing his GCSE's this year (he goes to a mainstream school)

It feels safe in school. He has an EHCP and we have regular meetings with the school about his development and the help that is provided. His current school doesn't have a 6th form and even though he will get the grades he also doesn't want to stay on. I have no idea what the future (which is coming ever closer) will bring for him.

Right now I really don't know if he'll live with us well into adulthood, go to supported accommodation or live independantly. I can't picture him getting married, but I suppose you never know.