Have you ever read a book that changed your life for the better ?

[frumpety]

A self help booked that actually helped or something that got you started down a new path in your career ? Or one that just changed how you view the world ?

I have read many - but the one I read in my early teens was Princess Jean Sasson about how womens lives in Saudi Arabia based on true stories. There were sequels afterwards but that paticular book and the incidents of womens lives have stayed with me and even now I think of the women in that book and what in some cases tragic lives they lived everyday and I am now 50.

I think it made me realise that some people have no choice but to accept their destiny and females ruled by others can lead painful lives and religon and culture are ties for some they can never be released from.

Yes. Feel the Fear in my mid twenties. It's really old fashioned now but I learned two things from it that changed my life forever, and I have taught them to my DC and DH because they are so useful. It's probably very out of date in the way it's written now (not reread it for years) but it's a very practical book.
The two things are: Make a grid of 9 squares and fill each one with a key aspect of life. One has to be Community and I think the rest are up to you - eg Work, Hobbies, Fitness, Family and Friends, Love, Spirituality/Faith, Home etc - you get to choose what the 9 are.

You then work a little every day or every week on improving the quality of each in your life. The Community square relates to contributing toward as your community, so it could be helping a charity or doing litter clean ups or PTA etc. The theory is that if one aspect of your life collapses - you split up with your partner or lose your job etc, then the rest are flourishing and support you. I really noticed this work when DS had a horrendous time at uni during lockdown. he was in total social isolation and spent less that 40 minutes with another live human being some weeks. He got extremely low about it. But he kept up his studies and got brilliant grades, and he kept up his fitness routine and got a really good six pack. I was so so proud of him that he at least had those achievements to look back on during a really bleak time in his life.

The other helpful thing was her idea of Win-Win decisions. When you have a tough decision to make, or if the decision is taken out of your hands, you look at it from a win win position. E.g. A friend got poor A level grades and ended up in clearance at a uni she hated, but she met her husband of 30 years there and got a first. You look for the positives in any route you have to take in life. It really helps.

17 years ago I bought Stop Thinking Start Living (Richard Carlson) after it was recommended by Julian Clary for helping him with his depression. Totally took it on board and it became my philosophy for life. Stopped overthinking and reigned worrying right back.

Thanks to a Mumsnet recommendation I read Brain Over Binge (Kathryn Hanson) in October and not only did it kick my bingeing into touch but it has also helped me control my sugar intake.

Also thanks to a Mumsnetter I read Ailen Carr’s Easy Way to Control Alcohol at the end of October and had my last drink on 3.11.20.I was going off it anyway (didn’t like it’s effects, felt much better without it) and the book gave me the encouragement to go for it.

As a consequence I have lost nearly a stone and feel on top form every day physically. The mental aspects of current lockdown restrictions are harder to deal with but I will use the tools Carlson gave me to come through it.

@LuvMyBoyz - thank you for those recommendations. I like the sound of Stop Thinking Start Living - I overthink a lot! Is it a workbook - does it have exercises to do? I find those books most helpful as you have to actually do what they suggest, not just think about it.

@Labobo Not exercises as such but advice on what you can do. It’s very repetitive to help drive his points home. I found the hardest thing was to recognise I was overthinking/worrying/having negative thoughts. But I stuck at it and it finally came naturally to let thoughts go/replace thoughts with more positive ones/ make a plan to address a situation and move on.

I'm going to reread this book as it helped me 14 years ago with my anxiety and depression which has since slipped back after some life changing events this year.
It really does help change your focus on life for the better.