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Original poster

I dont think I can do this anymore

19 replies

thimble41 · 04/01/2021 23:40

Sorry i just want to get my thoughts out, im really hurting tonight

I feel completely broken. I dont have a job. I do nothing but cry i cant sleep. I honestly dont think i can keep going much longer im so tired. Im on antidepressants and sedatives for anxiety and nothing helps. The samaritans wont even pick up the phone its almost like a sign, i think im beyond help tbh. im 25 i cant feel like this forever, i just want my mum.

OP posts:
Hailtomyteeth · 04/01/2021 23:50

Keep breathing. If you rest and wait, things get better. I had years curled up in bed, weighted down by depression. Eventually, you feel better. No particular reason. Maybe because you've rested enough.

Is your mum available? Mine died round about the time of my lowest low. That was seven years ago and I've wanted her many times since.

Make your bed cosy and be in it. Just. Let the misery have its time. Think of it as a visitor. All you have to do is keep breathing. I hope you get some rest tonight.

cheeseismydownfall · 04/01/2021 23:51

You poor thing, you sound very low Flowers

I know it doesn't feel that way but you are young and I promise you things won't feel this way forever. This is a truly shit time.

Is your mum still alive? I'm sure a lot of us can relate to that feeling of wanting our mums.

lozjay · 04/01/2021 23:54

Hi 👋 your not alone by the way , all you have to do is look through these threads and you see how much misery everyone's in tonight , this feeling you have right now will pass all those things you love doing you wouldn't be able to do if you wasn't here so please from someone who cares your doing ok to have made it this far x

Original poster
thimble41 · 04/01/2021 23:55

Thank you both, I have curled myself up and trying to not fight it and just let it be. My mum is alive, she is here in the house with me physically, albeit very drunk. She's not the mum I grew up knowing, I think that's who I miss now

OP posts:
1WayOrAnother2 · 04/01/2021 23:59

Hang in there thimble41 - so sorry it is all so hard for you just now.

MargotMoon · 04/01/2021 23:59

I'm sorry you haven't got your mum with you now. Put your arms around yourself and hug, with one hand holding the side of your neck/shoulder. Sounds weird but I read that it is a way of self-comforting and it has worked for me when I've had nobody to hold me.

MargotMoon · 05/01/2021 00:00

Sorry, took too long to write that, just saw your update. Are you safe?

pumpkinpie01 · 05/01/2021 00:03

Aw you do sound really low is your mum getting any help ? It's a really shit time at the moment , but it's gonna get better . How are you spending your days I know there's not a lot to do now but just having a routine and structure to the day can give you a reason to get up in the morning x

AllAboutTheMonet · 05/01/2021 00:06

You my friend, are not beyond help. Snuggle up tonight, cry it out if you need to, no shame in that. I’m sure a fair few of us on here have felt similar feelings.

But please, get in touch with your doctor’s surgery tomorrow morning. If it’s an e-consult, tell them what you told us. You don’t have to feel like this. It will pass, it might take a wee while but you will come out the other side.

This is a truly rubbish time, every thing is topsy turvy and proper shit but everything will be all right. You’ll see. Get some rest pet, and speak to your mum. Flowers

ProfessorSillyStuff · 05/01/2021 00:10

I have been there, at your age, I wanted so badly for it all to just go away. I believed I was weak, believed I needed the approval of others, and I believed I had messed my life up and would never feel happy again or find any success.
I am now a happy mum to two beautiful boys and I have become the toughest lady who doesn't need anybody to be happy. It turned out I had autism and once I started to break away from the people and thoughts that were holding me back nothing could stop me.
I had to learn to love myself first and that I have a unique purpose and viewpoint that are my gifts in life. I decided not to allow others to cause me to waste my life and that nothing would hold me from my purpose and dreams.
You too will have a unique purpose and viewpoint. Please permit yourself a fresh start and detach emotionally from those things and people which are suppressing the real vibrant you!
Because I believe at 25 life is just beginning and you have a lot of light to share with those in even worse circumstances than yourself!

AllAboutTheMonet · 05/01/2021 00:13

Sorry pet, I type so slowly, missed your update. Only speak to your mum when she is fine to listen.

Margot has it with the diy hug. If you have an extra duvet or blanket put that on too, sometimes the extra weight can help to soothe. X

Hailtomyteeth · 05/01/2021 00:20

Oh, it's hard when parents change - you feel the liss and kind of betrayed. Thinking of you.

NoraK · 05/01/2021 00:27

Somebody in your position is never beyond help. You can get through this and you will get past this, I know in the moment it can feel so dark and grey, like there is no light left to look forward to. You will regain your energy, you will feel happy again, you'll have a job you love going to, a family you want to be around or whatever you want your life to be like. I know it's a typical thing to say but we've all got through our worst moments so far, we can keep getting through them.
It's not always like this, please take care of yourself.

Funneth · 05/01/2021 00:58

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Please try to be good to yourself, this situation is immensely hard but you are never alone, I know it feels like you are but you are not alone.

yawnsvillex · 05/01/2021 01:11

OP I am the adult child of an alcoholic DM. (She is 11 years sober now)

I feel every inch of your pain. Listen to PP... they all talk sense.

Maria53 · 05/01/2021 01:48

The Samaritans not picking up isn't a sign - it just means lots of other people are struggling too and/or reduced staff due to this lockdown situation.

I am also the child of an alcoholic who is 3 years sober. I've been where you are. I know how trapped it makes you feel. Did you lose a job as a result of lockdown? It would be good to hear more about that.

Either way you are not alone. We are here to listen. Hugs Flowers

cheeseismydownfall · 05/01/2021 07:56

How are you doing this morning, thimble? I hope you were able to get dome sleep.

Original poster
thimble41 · 05/01/2021 10:04

Thank you all, reading this thread this morning has made me feel so much less alone, I appreciate it so much. I feel better after some sleep, less overwhelmed. I am waiting for a call from my GP so hopefully they can offer something. I am out of work due to covid yes...although I only graduated last year so havent actually got my foot on the ladder career wise was just doing a filler job until i worked out what on earth i wanted to do (still no idea).

Will try to keep my head up things will be better one day. Thank you again

OP posts:
cheeseismydownfall · 05/01/2021 11:07

I'm really glad you are feeling a bit better today. I hope your GP is able to provide you with some support.

This is a truly awful time for young people in terms of employment and although I am sure it seems impossibly hard please try to remember that this is not a reflection of you and what you have to offer. So many people are struggling to establish themselves in a career and you are sadly far, far from alone in this.

Night times are always the worst, when all of our worries feel overwhelming. I find audiobooks really helpful at these times to help me switch off. There are lots of free ones on the BBC Sounds app. I never fail to me comforted by Pride & Prejudice Smile.

Do come back if you are feeling bad again, good luck to you.

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