Would you feel hurt by this?

[CostaDelCovid]

Ok here goes nothing....

I had sworn off ever posting a thread on here again due to how people can be these days if you're not 100% perfect! The point of your thread often ends up totally lost. However I really want opinions on this...

(Name changed before anyone assumes I'm new!)

Due to my long term health issues, I'm prescribed Steroids and have limited mobility (although not in need of a wheelchair) and therefore can't do much exercise. As a result, I'm quite overweight. I think I carry it as well as I could and still have a womanly shape but that's by the by. Point is - I'm fat but not overly self conscious about it.

One of my close friends has been going to Slimming World and doing really well. She, in my opinion, didn't need to lose any weight to begin with as she's only size 8-10 (she's mentioned her size herself, I haven't just guessed!) but I realise it's all about how you feel, what you're happy with and I presumed perhaps she has baby weight which affects her confidence? I was fully supportive anyway. Whether she needed to in my opinion is not important, losing weight is still an achievement.
Good on her!

Fast forward to this evening, she's posted one of those "This is why I joined Slimming World" posts with before & after pics. (The before picture is apparently a size 10)

She say's "When I look at the first picture, I feel disgusted...." followed by the usual praise for Slimming World etc which of course is irrelevant.

Disgusted?

Now, I realise she's talking about her own body here and she can feel how she feels without the need to justify it to anyone. However if you know that your friend is much bigger (especially when it's due to severe health issues) would you really post a statement like that? Where you're calling your size 10 body "Disgusting?"

Like I said - Feel however the heck you like about your own body. But if you wouldn't SAY it in front of your overweight friends out of, I dunno, common decency/empathy, then why post it???

I promise I'm not a snowflake. Not a 'professionally offended' type either but I must admit this one cut a bit deep. Does my friend think I'M disgusting???

Totally get it op. I have a size 10 friend who regularly calls herself fat and disgusting to her friends, including me at a size 14 and another friend who is about 16-18. Yes she has low self esteem and a few issues but it is greatly insensitive and insulting and she is bright enough to realise that if she thought about it, she just doesn’t. I appreciate that we are allowed to feel unhappy about our bodies sometimes although we shouldn’t in my view, but this kind of thing is insensitive and hurtful

I mean if she was unhappy at her previous size it's a personal opinion. She shouldn't have to keep her mouth shut because you're overweight.

Completely agree with somewhatbored who has put it excellently

@20viona

I mean if she was unhappy at her previous size it's a personal opinion. She shouldn't have to keep her mouth shut because you're overweight.

I don’t think that’s the point. Yes she’s of course allowed to be unhappy with her body but to say “my size 10 body was fat and disgusting” surely says”I find your size 16 body fat and disgusting” She would be better off saying “I didn’t feel fit and healthy and toned and couldn’t fit in my clothes as I’d put on weight, I feel so much better now I’ve lost some weight”

Clearly @SomewhatBored has nailed it.

Would the people saying there’s no issue really post about themselves looking ‘disgusting’ at a size 10, and not pause for a half a second to consider how blatantly needy flattery fishing that sounds.

I get it, OP. She most likely does NOT think you are disgusting, though. She sounds too self-absorbed for that.

But it's body shaming, pure and simple. Doesn't matter if it is her own body.

I wish women (and yes, it's mostly women) would STFU about how much they hate their bodies. And I hope they don't have daughters who can hear them.