I’m so intimidated by my gp I’m scared to approach them despite bleeding heavily since beginning of November, any advice?

[Specksofwhiteallaround]

I’ll start by saying I’m currently obese, no denying it and I absolutely get the seriousness of it. I know it’s contributing to my health problems and it’s something I’ve been unsuccessfully dealing with my entire life so I’m not complaining about her bringing it up, I get that it’s her job to do so.

I’ve been having issues with fertility and irratic, heavy periods since my early twenties both when I was thin and varying degrees of overweight but in 2018 the problems ramped up and I had a heavy period that just wouldn’t stop. When I first saw her she did blood work but that was fine apparently, she organised an ultrasound which was fine and was supposed to refer my to my local hospitals gynaecology department although I’ve since learned she failed to do so. I wasn’t offered anything to actually stop the bleeding until it had been going on over two months and it was at the point I couldn’t leave the house I was flooding so often. I only got help when I went back and happened to see a different gp as she was on holiday, he prescribed tranexamic acid which stopped it within two days.

My periods were mostly regular again after that if heavier than normal so I just put up with it and tried to deal with my food issues.

Then this November my period started and just hasn’t stopped again, I requested tranexamic acid and it reduced it massively until I stopped taking it then it came back immediately so I requested a phone appointment. She suggested the pill as long as I had a blood pressure check so I got that done and admittedly it was very high. When she rang back she launched into a long lecture about my weight and that I just needed to sort it out as I was getting too old for this and I was going to end up dead. She also questioned me on whether I’d always been fat and said she assumed my whole family was also obese (they’re not) then said I had to go buy a home blood pressure monitor and submit twice daily recordings of it for a week before agreeing to prescribe the pill.

My issue is I simply didn’t have the money to go out and buy one three days before Christmas and it will have to wait until pay day at the end of January but I was too intimidated to say this. Now the bleeding is if anything worse after starting the pill but I’m too scared to speak to her again about it. I have severe social anxiety so I’m not very assertive and my general anxiety is through the roof with the whole situation. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I'm no medical expert, but magnesium will help with your blood pressure and also with the dermatitis. Its best absorbed through the skin, so try some epsom salts in the bath, or even better apply magnesium oil daily. Make your own to bring costs down- buy natural Zechstein Magnesium Chloride and dissolve it in distilled/boiled water - 1 part MC to 2 parts water.

@HotButteredRumPaPumPum do the Epsom salts sting with dermatitis? I made the mistake of scooping up a handful of Dead Sea salt scrub in the shower after a night of hardly any sleep over the weekend, my poor hand was on fire

Please do see her again she has damaged your self esteem. You need checking and looked after this bleeding cannot continue.hugs

@specksofwhiteallaround I don't know personally. I've never had any negative side effects from using them, but I dont have dermatitis. I do know people with eczema and psoriasis use it to find relief.
Magnesium oil is supposed to be more efficient in terms of absorption. I use this and do get a little bit itchy after using it - it feels like you've been in the sea - that slightly sticky feeling, but I've not put it on broken skin. If you put a spoonful in the bath, it wouldn't be as concentrated in one spot so you shouldn't get a reaction.

Please ask to speak to a different Dr if you don't feel comfortable with your own one. I too am very obese and have been avoiding my GP for some time because he is young and he is someone I used to work with and was so embarrassed he would want to do an internal examination. in some ways Covid has been good because I have spoken to another Dr over the phone who sent me straight for an emergency scan on a two week cancer pathway and I have been seen by Gynae team really quickly. thankfully it is nothing to worry about but I am really kicking myself over how silly I have been to avoid things for so long. Hope you get sorted out soon.

OP please get tested for PCOS again, and if it is negative again ask if you can be treated for it for a while to see if that helps. I have an underactive thyroid that for years didn't show up on blood tests, when it did it was very low, and I am now on a high dose of Levothyroxine. I truly believe that not everyone's body reacts in the same way to things, or that the medical profession just don't know as much about various conditions as they think they do. Maybe your blood tests Don't reflect your levels correctly, maybe you have tiny cysts that are "hidden" in your thickened lining, because all your symptoms point to PCOS, so I do think that you need a second opinion from an expert in this area. Good Luck, OP, you are really suffering, my heart goes out to you xx

You poor thing! That is awful treatment.

PCOS could account for your symptoms so you should be tested again.

Do you have a friend who could make the appointment with one of the other doctors? Then write a dot point list of your symptoms, and the fact that your problems started before your weight gain, and hand it over to the new doctor. Include on the list that you need a gynae referral and that you can’t afford a monitor.

You should feel confident about never seeing that GP again and you do not need to worry about her opinion.

I am so so sick of shitty gps using being overweight as an excuse to mistreat, not treat, mis dx and generally let (mostly women) patients down!

SHE should be intimidated by YOU because to be perfectly honest it sounds to me as if she's fucked up in failing to do that Gynae referral.

Not just because of the periods issues but because I suspect the Gynae issue may be the reason you are overweight!

Slim family, Age of onset of symptoms, periods and fertility issues, anxiety, facial hair...

ALL points to TEXTBOOK pcos to me!

Complain about her to the practice manager, request a move to another gp within the practice and for the gynae referral to be done ASAP.

If for whatever reason they claim they can't move you to another gp then move practice.

PLEASE find your anger because you have been let down and not received the treatment you should have

I have found that having telephone appointments and therefore the gps not immediately seeing I am overweight has resulted in a much improved service from them.

It's Fucking outrageous the way they blame EVERYTHING On being overweight even conditions that have sod all to do with weight AND waste their precious "10 mins" consultation time on berating patients! Which doesn't bloody work anyway!

Also with pcos normal "diets" tend not to work. I have a few friends with that condition and they follow a very specific diet recommended by their pcos specialists. Even my former ww leader who I am still friends with has a daughter with pcos who follows this diet and ww leader friend admits ww wouldn't work with this specific issue.

Although checked when younger I think you should be checked again. Things can be missed, mistakes made, it happens.

I agree pill isn't treatment it masks. I have endo and was plonked on the pill by idiot and ignorant gps for years before it was properly dx and that only occurred as happenstance!

It's an absolute disgrace what gps get away with

or that the medical profession just don't know as much about various conditions as they think they do.

Ain't that the truth! Ime many of them are utterly fucking clueless!

Seriously op, I know it's really hard but you have to be assertive on this. Do you have anyone in your life who is a good pro active assertive type who could perhaps speak to gp practice for you?

I'm so angry on your behalf I wish I could call for you

Just in case anyone was curious at all, I finally got up the courage today to request a phone call from my gp to discuss the continuing bleeding and was all geared up for confrontation only to hear she’s not back in the surgery until Monday morning and will call me then which was anticlimactic

I’ve since bought a home blood pressure monitor and my blood pressure has been fully within normal limits the last few days. I’ve also managed to drop almost 2kg this week so hopefully she’ll be satisfied with that and start concentrating on the problem I actually went to her for

Thanks again for the kick up the bum and making me realise I don’t have to just put up with her treatment, hopefully I’m a bit closer to getting things sorted.

You need to see another GP. She sounds awful and rude. Not sure if you are obese because of a hormonal imbalance or even depression. Who knows but you do not need that extra stress in your life.

I hope things get better in your life. Big hug.

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Serenschintte she said she’s referred me to the gynaecologists at the hospital again so I need to chase that up as last time she said it would be a long wait so I didn’t really question why I hadn’t heard from them until the problems reared up worse again.
I did have a scan last time and all they found was lining of my uterus was thickened but it was never explained, definitely no cycts or fibroids though.
My period woes started when I was still very slim so I find it hard to believe that my weight is the sole cause, making it worse definitely but I dont think losing weight is going to be the instant fix this gp is implying.[/quote]
@Specksofwhiteallaround sorry to hear what you have been going through. When you speak to the GP on Monday ask for an urgent referral to a gynaecologist. One of the reasons why you get this heavy bleeding is due to the uterus lining being thickened. Any gynaecologist will see you quickly if there is uterine thickening found on a scan. They need to take biopsies of this thickened area to check that everything is alright. I don’t think GPS’s always realise the importance of this. Good luck and let us know how you get on 💐

@MrsT777 The woman doing the scan said it might have been thickened due to my period being about to start, I didn’t really question it at the time as my cycle was all over the place and she could have been correct about that. My gp has supposedly made another referral to see a gynaecologist but I’ve no idea how long it might take which is concerning. I was warned last time it would be a long wait.

The contraceptive pill hasn’t helped at all so I suspect she’s going to push for me to get a coil next which I don’t want so I really need to work on being more assertive so I can just say no.

Sounds like it could be a fibroid op, I've been there myself. You should be able to ask for norethisterone To stop the bleeding. You can also buy it over the counter but you need to tell them it's to delay your period due to a work event type thing. I was on it for 10 days and it stopped the bleeding within 48 hours.

The doctor told you the truth and the truth hurts. She is doing her job. Sorry it’s not what you wanted to hear.

It’s about time doctors told their patients the reality rather than pussyfooting around.

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@MrsT777 The woman doing the scan said it might have been thickened due to my period being about to start, I didn’t really question it at the time as my cycle was all over the place and she could have been correct about that. My gp has supposedly made another referral to see a gynaecologist but I’ve no idea how long it might take which is concerning. I was warned last time it would be a long wait.

The contraceptive pill hasn’t helped at all so I suspect she’s going to push for me to get a coil next which I don’t want so I really need to work on being more assertive so I can just say no.[/quote]
@Specksofwhiteallaround yes you are correct the thickening can depend on where you are in your cycle. However there is a condition which causes thickening to the uterine wall (this doesn’t change with your cycle) This causes very heavy, long lasting periods. If the referral mentions thickening to the uterine wall then you will get an appointment quickly by the gynaecologist. It’s really important to get this checked out. They will take biopsies of this thickened area to make sure this is alright. When you speak to her mention this and ask that the referral mentions ‘the scan showed thickening to the uterine wall’

Ask for a different GP. This is common, don't worry.
If you need BO monitoring I would expect a 24hour monitor to be arranged in the first instance. GP can arrange that.
If you are buying one, look at Lidl and Argos too. To be honest unless are regularly calibrated then they're all as reliable as the other.
Verify that gynae referral is made, they can ve done online there and then in most GP practices (bear in mind there can be a ridiculous wait) and tell them you're happy to take a short notice cancellation.

BP, not BO🤣

@AnoDeLosMuertos Sorry but I think you’ve missed the point entirely. I assume by telling me the truth you mean she informed me I was obese, I know I’m fat, anyone with eyes can see I’m fat so that’s hardly a shock pronouncement and no it doesn’t hurt to hear it. I don’t want her to pussy foot around but I don’t see why she can’t be a bit more tactful in her approach. I can’t see her aggressively telling someone with anorexia to just sort themselves out and start eating, why does the fact I have longstanding issues with over eating make that acceptable.

If your referring to investigating the high blood pressure reading, that truth didn’t hurt either, I’ve already said she’s doing her job to look into it and I have no problem with that. I do have issue with her expecting me to be able to obtain medical equipment for my home immediately and I do have an issue with her going off on a tangent about that and my weight while barely addressing the problem I actually called about which is making my life a misery.

I mean correct me if you think I’m wrong but as I contacted her about heavy and sustained bleeding I’d have though her job would be to find a way to stop that or at least find out why it’s happening and focus on my weight afterwards, after all I can’t exactly half my weight over night can I?

Get another doctor, even use another practice. I did as I won't put up with that shit.

You need blood tests. Your weight gain could be thyroid, hormones, and your iron levels will be low. Take Ferrous Fumerate.

You also need to find out the cause of the heavy bleeding.

Have you a hospital near you. Look up your local woman's clinic and get a GP appointment with a different GP to get a referral there.

You could ask about a Mirena coil which may help reduce bleeding, as an alternative to the pill. You could also ask if is possible to borrow a BP monitor as I know some practices do this. Covid should not be a reason not to loan one.
Also it might help to keep a food and exercise diary, so that you can demonstrate to your GP the steps you are taking to reduce weight. The GP does sound rather harsh, most people find it very difficult to lose weight and lockdown makes it harder still.

@Redburnett My gp has already mentioned the coil but I don’t want one fitted, I have a very low tolerance for pain and I just know I’ll end up in a situation where getting it removed will be a huge drama.

There was no suggestion of borrowing a blood pressure monitor, she explicitly told me I had to go buy one, do two readings a day and submit this to her. It was just annoying as this was only a week before Christmas and I just didn’t have the money right then. I’ve got one now anyway so obviously will have that info for her soon.

I actually did lose weight using an app in the time since she first suggested it but put it back on over lockdown Now I’m the exact same weight as I was a year ago minus the 2kg I’ve lost this week. The nurse who took my blood pressure said I’d done well considering the problems I have with disordered eating and not being able to get out the house as much

@AnoDeLosMuertos reported as that comment isn't remotely useful in any way!

This is NOT the ops gp doing their job at all quite the opposite! They're using ops weight to excuse their being a shit gp who's done sod all to achieve a correct dx and treatment and ignoring the FACT that ops weight may well be at least partly a symptom rather than just a cause.

@Redburnett mirena coil like the pill IS NOT a treatment it's a masking solution. Women are being fobbed off all the time on such matters and many others medically. Medical misogyny is a major issue globally and certainly in the Uk.

Not identifying the true cause and potentially even missing fatal illnesses - which does and is happening - because patients are given "treatments" which merely mask symptoms is a disgrace and frankly medical negligence.

In addition there are major issues with the mirena (and not other brands of hormonal coil btw which do exist) being pushed on patients and those patients many of them if this coil causes them to have more problems rather than less are having obstacles put in their way to having the damn things removed, women are having to threaten to do it themselves etc it's a hidden major scandal frankly much as the we had happen with the vaginal mesh scandal (which was barely reported!).

Patients reporting problems with the coil instead of having the coil that is the cause removed are being prescribed other medications on top of that to deal with the side effects etc in short women's suffering is considered unimportant and even to be expected.

I've been warned by a gynaecologist NOT to ever have a coil due to the state of my reproductive organs due to endo, this is clearly in my medical records and STILL many gps try and push me into having one

Why? There are financial incentives for them to do so!

My dd who is almost 20, hasn't been sexually active for very long, hasn't had any children yet and who doesn't have major issues with her periods but occasionally has long or heavy and painful ones when she has even in passing mentioned this has also had the "hard sell" on the mirena which is again completely contraindicated with her medical history. She also tells me that almost all her female friends even those with perfectly normal periods and merely wanting to organised contraception that suits them have also experienced the "hard sell" on mirena.

I am sadly fairly sure that within the next 5-10 years we will discover that this product has caused serious harm to my dds generation in terms of fertility and reproductive health as its being foisted on them.

Op good luck with Monday, stand your ground and get the dx and CORRECT treatment and support that you need.

@Graphista I’m already refusing the coil because personally I know I’ll end up having serious problems with having it in and out (low tolerance for pain has already lead to a lifelong needle phobia that I’ve only recently overcome) but after reading your reply it definitely doesn’t sound like an option I’d be happy to pursue.

On the plus side I had my phone call from her today and it was like talking to a different Dr, it was actually a bit unsettling

I explained I was calling as I’m still bleeding and she’s immediately given me a new prescription for the tranexamic acid and come up with a plan to use a higher dose of progesterone to hopefully stop it then maintain it with the pill afterwards. She brought up the gynaecologist referral unprompted and said she will ask the receptionist to chase that up as I’ve not heard from them. She’s also scheduled another appointment for more blood tests. She didn’t mention my weight once but was happy with my blood pressure results when I gave those to her.
No idea what’s prompted the change, perhaps I’m wasn’t the only one who wasn’t happy with her approach and someone more confident had words lol

Graphista please stop fearmongering about the mirena coil, and OP please ignore what she is saying, I’m a GP and I can assure you there is no financial incentive to promote the mirena (we live in the UK not the US, this would actually be illegal in the NHS, trust me I’m barely allowed to accept a pen from a drug company these days....). The reason a mirena is often recommended is simply because it works, and works to the extent that many hysterectomies are avoided compared to “the old days”. A hysterectomy is a major operation with significant risks including death and so it makes sense for us to recommend this to our patients. Nobody is being “fobbed off” with one (I have one myself for pelvic pain from endometriosis and it has been a miracle cure for me), and it’s not the risk to people’s fertility that has been implied here. It’s really unhelpful for everyone to constantly assume that doctors are acting in bad faith instead of in the best interests of our patients. It would be nice to see a bit less doctor bashing around here, everyone will miss the NHS when it’s gone (still could be worse, at least I’m not a teacher).

OP, I do agree that you need to see a gynaecologist especially if there was a thickened lining on your ultrasound scan (although yes it could simply have been taken at the wrong moment in your cycle), and your GP certainly sounds like she has been overly tactless and blunt when dealing with your case. Having said that, it’s true to say that a high BMI in itself can cause dysfunctional heavy bleeding but I think you sound like a reasonable person who understands that. I’m sorry you’ve been spoken to the way you have been and I’m impressed that you persisted with the same doctor and have been able to have a constructive conversation to work out the best way forward, but please don’t feel bad to ask to speak to a different GP in the future if this problem recurs.