I think I'm pregnant and I'm scared

[tigge]

Firstly I just want to say that i don't expect anyone's sympathy here. This is my own doing. But I can't talk to anyone about it.

About 3 weeks ago I drunkenly slept with a close friend. I barely remember it all and we spoke the next day and said we wouldn't let it affect our friendship etc and things have been fine since.

Then, he got in touch to say he didn't want it to be a one time thing and wanted to know how I felt. For many factors I won't go I told him it just wasn't right and he thanked me for my honesty and we've been fine since.

But now I'm late, my breasts are so incredibly tender and tingling and swollen and I cannot stop getting up to pee. I'm going to get a test tomorrow but at the moment I cannot sleep and I am in bits. These were my exact symptoms with my DD who is now 8

None of my friends know about this and they cannot find out, it would change the dynamic completely. I'm worried I could lose friends over this. There is no one close to me I could tell about this without complicating things. I can't talk to my friend and drag him back into this particularly as he has said he has feelings for me. I've been so, so stupid. I'm so scared, I've never done anything like this on my own before. I really hope the test tomorrow will show I've been getting worked up over nothing but I can't sleep and I needed to get my feelings out.

I'm sorry you're going through this op and I'm wishing a negative test on you.

If it's positive would you want to keep the baby? So you have no friends or family who aren't connected to this guy?

I'm assuming you're both single so why do you think you'd lose friends for having consensual sex with a single friend?

Take it one step at a time. Take a test. But depending on ovulation it may not be accurate yet.
Then you need to think of what you want before your friend. As you do have the decision.
Could you co parent. Do you want another child. Could you have an abortion.
There is a lot to think about and I'm sure MN will help what ever u need.

I hope your test result is negative. I can imagine how worried you are but if you do turn out to be pregnant, it's something that can be dealt with quickly as you would be very early in your pregnancy.

Wait and see what the result is. Come back and tell us. You'll find a lot of support here.

All the very best, be thinking of you tomorrow.

Why are you so worried about your friends knowing?

I hope the test is negative, was any contraception used and do you know where you were in your cycle?

We have a mutual best friend with whom we've always sort of been a bit of a 3 with. They lived together previously, we went a way together. That's kind of the reason we became close friends I guess. I think this friend would be upset if he felt that either of us had compromised that.

He is also very aware that his friend often gets let down a lot when it comes to women, and if I was another person who had let him down I'm worried he'd be upset with me for that.

Good luck tomorrow OP, I hope your test is negative.

@Soberfutures I've always wanted another child. But not like this. I left my DDs dad when she was 1 so have been doing this alone for 7 years and I always said that if I were to have another child it wouldn't be like this. I know that sounds stupid as none of these things are ever perfect or predictable but this is so far from what I wanted

@Omeara I honestly don't. I assumed at the time we had used a condom as it's very out of character for me not to consider that but now this has happened I don't think I remember using one. I had been off my period for just over a week but can't remember exactly how long. It's not good at all and I just can't believe I've been so stupid.

Thank you everyone it really does mean a lot

Don’t give yourself a hard time. Hopefully the test will be negative. If it’s not then you still have choices available to you.

I’m sorry you’re so upset and I get it. I hope the test result is what you would wish... would you feel comfortable having an abortion or would you keep a baby?

@FabbyMagic I couldn't keep it. I know a termination would be very difficult for me, as I considered one with DD and couldn't go ahead with it. But this time feels different and I need to consider her, our home, my future.

Wait until Monday, Rachel, it is already Sunday so not long to go.

Please start your own thread about this.

Good luck.

[quote tigge]@FabbyMagic I couldn't keep it. I know a termination would be very difficult for me, as I considered one with DD and couldn't go ahead with it. But this time feels different and I need to consider her, our home, my future. [/quote]
You're absolutely right, most of us would do the same in your circumstances and you already have responsibilities. It will be straightforward at this early stage.

However, let's see what your test result brings first.

I would just wait until you test before worrying yourself further. You probably are just thinking too deep into it though. The amount of times I've had every symptom of pregnancy and convinced myself I'm pregnant is ridiculous (every month). If it is positive then you should definitely speak to him. Good luck Op!

Thanks for all your messages, I was in bits last night and it really did help Have had a couple of hours sleep and feeling a bit more strong and rational. I'll be with DD until later this afternoon and then will do one when she's left for her dads and take it from there.

How did it go OP?

Thanks for asking after me @whisper1991

I didn't get the result I wanted unfortunately and this is now something I'm going to have to cope with. I have, however, plucked up the courage to tell my best friend who is part of the group but is a lot closer to me than she is him, she's gobsmacked but has promised to see me through this and take me wherever I need to go and keep it to herself. This is a very difficult thing for me, but I know in my heart of hearts it's right. With my DD, I knew deep down that despite it not being planned and the issues it would cause that I would bypass those because I wanted to. I don't this time. I feel awful and cold and it's breaking my heart, but I just don't want to do this.

@tigge

Thanks for asking after me *@whisper1991*

I didn't get the result I wanted unfortunately and this is now something I'm going to have to cope with. I have, however, plucked up the courage to tell my best friend who is part of the group but is a lot closer to me than she is him, she's gobsmacked but has promised to see me through this and take me wherever I need to go and keep it to herself. This is a very difficult thing for me, but I know in my heart of hearts it's right. With my DD, I knew deep down that despite it not being planned and the issues it would cause that I would bypass those because I wanted to. I don't this time. I feel awful and cold and it's breaking my heart, but I just don't want to do this.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I have no advice, nothing helpful to say. I just wanted to tell you to follow what your gut is telling you. x

I am so sorry, tigge. I really thought you'd come back and say the test was negative.

You will get over this, you know. Stay strong. I'm glad you have a friend to support you.