Nightmares/night terrors - what can I do

[Greensleeves90]

Not the most exciting topic for NYE but having just been up to comfort my 9 year old with yet another sleeping shouting match, I’m at my wits end. For the last few years (always a terrible sleeper generally), she has suffered daily with night terrors that consist of shouting/screaming, and occasionally sleepwalking out of bed. These can be any time of night and also very early morning. Subsequently, waking everyone up in a very distressing way! I’m sure it’s not good for her either even though she has no recollection of any of it. Can anyone give any advice, experience? I thought at 9 she would be growing out of it by now but it is getting worse and worse and is really impacting everyone else’s sleep patterns. Thank you!

Hopeful bump...

A long shot but is the room too warm?

We noticed that Ds would have them occasionally- usually when he got too hot

I'm 38 and get night terrors almost and rarely remember them, they are definitely more stressful for people hearing you go through them.

I occasionally remember feeling sad or scared. I maybe feel a bit tired after an unsettled night too.

My ds used to get terrors as a toddler/pre schooler.
His were around 10 every night.
So I used to sort of half wake him. About 9:45.
Enough to make him stir and turn over. But not be awake. If that makes sense?
It moved him out of a deeper sleep phase.

@MyNameHasBeenTaken

My ds used to get terrors as a toddler/pre schooler. His were around 10 every night. So I used to sort of half wake him. About 9:45. Enough to make him stir and turn over. But not be awake. If that makes sense? It moved him out of a deeper sleep phase.

Absolutely this. My grandson had them so we used to shake him awake, not enough to wake him up properly, just enough to get him to open his eyes and stir a bit but not wake up properly. He used to have them about 11/12 at night, so we used to wake him an hour before. We did that for a week and it seems to have stopped.

Thanks for the replies. The room is definitely not too warm as I know this make things worse, so we have heating off in there etc. I even bought a special mattress to see if that would help (temperature and comfort).
Interesting about the stirring before it starts. I could try this but it’s so random! It can be 10pm, 2am even 530am. I could try stirring her slightly beginning of the night to see if that changes sleep patterns.

My son used to get them frequently as a young child; much less often now that he’s nearly 11.

I noticed they were more common when he was very tired or physically exhausted, and strangely, if he’d had a lot of cheese in his evening meal!

Cheese! Somehow that rings a bell about cheese and nightmares

Not sure where I heard it

@GnarlyOldGoatDude

My son used to get them frequently as a young child; much less often now that he’s nearly 11.

I noticed they were more common when he was very tired or physically exhausted, and strangely, if he’d had a lot of cheese in his evening meal!

I have cut right back on dairy for her and it made no difference. I try and get her to bed at a decent time as well. Feel like I have tried everything, maybe just need to accept it (and soundproof her room...)

Try waking her 2 hours after she's gone to sleep, they're in a deep sleep then. Do it again before you go to sleep yourself, see how that goes?

Does she sleep on her back? I get them still sometimes, but only if I’m sleeping on my back and I’ve got too hot.

My DS gets these and they see to be connected with anxiety for him, only gets them before school days, never in the holidays. Trying to sort out what's making him anxious seems to help.

I will give the turning over/stirring thing a go. She sleeps on her back yes @LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 but not sure how I could stop this..might ask her to try and fall asleep on her side.
@Silkiechickscat - anxiety definitely doesn’t help. We have diaries etc where she can write things down, we talk a lot before bed and she has worry dolls under her pillows. Some of what she shouts out is regarding friends or things that have happened so I know a lot plays on her mind at night.

Sleeping on your back gives you nightmares. It's a thing. I always wake up terrified if I sleep on my back

My son gets these and for a long time we would try and wake him up/rouse him but it didn't help at all.
I have since changed tack completely and have had great success in talking to him in his ear in a really calming voice as if I'm doing hypnosis on him and he will just lie back down and go to sleep! I say things like, 'You are feeling really tired and really sleepy. It's time to lie back down, put your head on the pillow and go to sleep. You feel completely safe and really sleepy...everything is alright, mummy's here, time to go to sleep...'
Might be a good idea to get her some sleep hypnosis tracks to listen to anyway when she goes to sleep. Very relaxing and very effective.

Interesting, I’ve recently started getting these after years of insomnia I’m now sleeping deep enough to get terrors. I always have my electric blanket on before bed, maybe it’s the heat!
Will follow this with interest

I have to prop myself up into a semi sitting position and I use D shaped microfleece covered cushions .

Like this www.amazon.co.uk/D-Design-Lumbar-Roll-Memory-Cushion/dp/B07JFJKX24/ref=sr_1_56?dchild=1&keywords=d-roll+cushion&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1609534688&sr=8-56

you can get cheaper ones ,I get mine from Lidls when they have them . They are v comfy and stop me slipping .

My son gets these, he's always had them if the room is too dark and he's now 11. We've put a blue night light in his room, bought from amazon. Any other colour doesn't work. He's worse in a new bed (holidays are fun) or if he's coming down with something.

Ah yes, night terrors in a hotel room where you sound like you are murdering your child

Ds is almost 18 and still gets them mainly when he is over tired or over anxious about stuff. They have got less frequent we think.

I wouldn't recommend the worry dolls or talking as they are going to bed as stuff may play on her mind. I wonder if a meditation app whilst she is drifting off to sleep would help? A calm soothing voice.

Also a sleep app to record when she is in a deep sleep and when the night terrors occur to see if there is a pattern. Ds found it fascinating to hear himself talking or shouting on the app as he has no recollection of any of it. You can choose not to play this to her if you think it would make her more anxious.

Obviously this would require a phone to be left next to her bed but it can be locked. The sleep app would be the most useful I think. Sometimes what seems random can actually be a pattern with their sleep.

My 9 year old is slowly growing out of her night terrors. There are still two triggers for her:

1. Being too hot
2. Not emptying her bladder completely before going to bed.

In fact even in the deepest night terrors she used to allow us to take her to the loo for a wee. That always seems to knock it on the head.

My ds had them frequently at her age. He's a teen now and has them maybe once a month?

The good thing is that he never remembers them

Oh yes, the being too hot too! I forgot that as a trigger for my son as well.