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Original poster

Stem cell donor...possibly

27 replies

Lottiethelemming · 31/12/2020 21:24

I name changed because my family know who I am here and I haven't discussed this with them yet.

I registered with Anthony Nolan about 9 years ago. I never thought anything would come of it. I received an email on Wednesday saying I am a potential match for somebody that needed stem cells.

Straight away, I updated my info and replied to the email confirming all sorts.

I'm awaiting another blood test for confirmation purposes.

I'm scared. Scared that covid will delay anything. Scared that I may not be a match after a 2nd test. Scared to go to hospital at this time (I definitely will, I promise).

I can't sleep because somebody out there may need my stem cells. I may be the only match. Whoever it is, I hope it all goes well.

I signed up thinking it was just the right thing to do but now I feel ashamed that I'm worrying so much when so many people out there are suffering.

OP posts:
Lemonpiano · 31/12/2020 21:27

You have nothing to feel ashamed for. Those are normal worries in the circumstances. You have them because you're human.

If you're able to help someone then great, but if you're not that is not your responsibility.

Freddiefox · 31/12/2020 21:30

Don’t feel ashamed,
You are amazing, really hope it works out for you all.

StandardLampski · 31/12/2020 21:33

You are fab! I hope it all goes smoothly. Scary yes but eventually be very proud of yourselfGrin

Letsleepingdogslie8 · 31/12/2020 21:34

My DF had a stem cell transplant so I just want to say thank you so so much. He fortunately had 2 matches, so if you aren’t a match after a 2nd test, please believe that there is someone else and that everything you have done has been so appreciated.

(Teary eyes now) Flowers

Original poster
Lottiethelemming · 31/12/2020 21:40

Thank you all. I've spent the last couple if day in tears.

I never in a million years thought I'd be a match.

I named my youngest after one of the characters in the film Seven Pounds. Will Smith donating without pain relief stayed with my forever. I'm talking utter rubbish now but I can't help but feel like it's meant to be and that I have the ability to help somebody have a good life.

I've obviously been thinking too hard. I just want to do it now. I don't want them to wait. That poor family. I can't stop thinking about them.

OP posts:
Shelby30 · 31/12/2020 21:49

It's amazing that you want to help and despite all the worrying it's causing you.

I'm registered too probably about 7 years ago and I was more of the opinion that I didn't think I'd match now that so long has passed. Thought if I was going to would have been within the first year. Felt like I'm almost not on the list so gd to know it can still happen all these yrs later.

I hope it works out for everyone.

bettybyebye · 31/12/2020 21:53

Thank you. My mum had 2 stem cell transplants that greatly improved her quality of life. It’s totally normal to feel what you are feeling.

ceecee32 · 31/12/2020 21:55

I had a stem cell transplant in Feb after being diagnosed with leukaemia.
I will never forget my consultant saying we can sort this out and that the transplant was a potential cure

My donor was a 23 year old lady from Germany. I find it mind blowing that she would put herself out to help a stranger

Thank you for putting your name on the list I hope it all works out for you. You should be proud of yourself

hopeishere · 31/12/2020 21:58

My husband had a transplant with donor cells this year. Amazing. Hope you're a match.

Deeleycat01 · 31/12/2020 22:08

Just wanted to let you know a couple of points that might help if you are the best match. Most film portrayal of stem cell donation is completed inaccurate. Donors have the choice of two ways of donating their stem cells. The majority of people choose to donate via PBSC which does not involve an operation. It is a process similar to platelet donation and the cells are collected from the blood stream and the donor is free and fine to leave the clinic immediately after the donation.

All donors go onto one of the private clinics Anthony Nolan use to donate so it does not involve visiting a hospital treating Covid cases if this is adding worry to you.

Deeleycat01 · 31/12/2020 22:12

Also please do not worry about the wait if it takes a while. Most hospitals ask Anthony Nolan to look for a potential match before it is actually needed - so that they know there is one available and then can plan the treatment for the patient.

TheDinosaurTrain · 31/12/2020 22:15

No experience, but just wanted to say good on you! I can’t be on the register because I’ve had blood transfusions and I’m alive because of them. So to you and all fellow humans who give blood and stem cells and plasma, thank you!

Bellaphant · 31/12/2020 22:17

Thank you..some lady in America saved my mum's life this time last year (was a closer match than her family!!)

JacobReesMogadishu · 31/12/2020 22:23

I had this happen to me a few years ago. They rang me up in a right flap, saying I had to get to a dr urgently and have bloods taken. Like now! So got the bloods done (loads of bottles). Couriered back to them.

Then they emailed me a few days later saying the person I’d matched with “was no longer in a positive to receive a donation “. I’d like to think they’d recovered/no longer needed it. I’m probably Kidding myself. I was told I must tell them if I move house, change number, etc. That was years ago.

Original poster
Lottiethelemming · 31/12/2020 23:08

One thing that shocked me was how much my personal info changed since I registered. Address, contact number, NOK.

I really do hope I am a match and I've forwarded an email to everybody I know inviting them to get on the register.

Thank you for your messages, I feel a lot calmer now. The test kit should have been here today but 48 hours postage at Christmas is bad enough without Covid.

My lovely sister in law to be is going to come down from London to take my bloods. I don't want to go to our local hospital. It's overrun with cases at the moment.

Does anybody know what happens with work? If all goes well will I have to take annual leave or sick leave? I'm aware that I may be given little notice.

I'm a civil servant if that helps.

OP posts:
Deeleycat01 · 31/12/2020 23:38

If you choose to donate via PBSC then it is just one afternoon in the private clinic so it is usually only one day needed off work. Most employers are usually happy to give the time off freely for this and one of the team at Anthony Nolan could talk to them if needed. It is down to individual employers policy but most are usually very good with this

Deeleycat01 · 31/12/2020 23:40

You do usually have some notice. Normally at least a couple of weeks. If you are chosen as the donor you will have an Anthony Nolan staff member assigned that will take you through everything step by step so that you understand and are informed

viques · 31/12/2020 23:50

Wow, I hope it all goes well for you OP. I don’t suppose many people on here remember the Anthony Nolan story, I remember it vividly. A little boy who needed a bone marrow transplant but at that time there was no register. His mother, an amazing, determined and wholly admirable woman fought, campaigned, nagged, begged, knocked on doors, blew away prejudices, defied the doubters and shouted until people listened in her efforts to find a donor for Anthony and to set up the register.

Worth looking into her story if you don’t know it. RIP Shirley Nolan, a life force of a woman.

Original poster
Lottiethelemming · 01/01/2021 00:21

@viques Happy New Year! To everybody else, a Happy New Year to you all too!

I will definitely be reading about Shirley tonight.

If this year has taught me anything, it's that we really are one. There's been so much division this past year. We really can make the world a better place. Every little kindness goes a long way.

If you believe in God as I do, may your God bless you. If not, may your acts of kindness bring you peace x

OP posts:
Rainbowgravy · 01/01/2021 00:37

I also got the call a few years ago. I went to my Gp to get the additional blood tests done which were all good but, as above, in the end it didn't go ahead. I too hope this was due to a positive reason. I thought it was worth mentioning as I was so sure it was going to happen and wasn't prepared for that. I hope it all goes well for you.

Waveifyouknowme · 01/01/2021 00:44

My son had a chance because of a strangers kindness, doesn't matter what happens the fact you are willing to donate is a ray of hope in a world of sadness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

DramaAlpaca · 01/01/2021 00:46

All I can say is well done you. I am in awe Flowers

BettyCarver · 01/01/2021 01:13

I donated stem cells a few years ago for one of my siblings who had cancer. As someone said, it’s not an operation now, it’s similar to donating blood (though takes quite a bit longer!) PM me if there’s anything you want to know. I felt scared too, but the transplant coordinator was so helpful and knowing you’re doing something truly life saving puts the minor discomfort into perspective. Pm me if you want to ask anything

iVampire · 01/01/2021 01:14

I just want to say thank you

I have a form of leukaemia (does not require transplant at present) and you can have no idea how much the actions of donors mean from the patients pov

In civil service, you should get all of it as sick leave. It’s just possible that they might make the first day count as annual leave (because you weren’t ill) but you’ll be under doctors orders for all the recuperation and that’s sick leave. Any HR dept with a heart and conscience (and adequate budget) grants the whole lot

PurpleMustang · 01/01/2021 01:30

Wow that is amazing and crazy all in one go to get asked. I signed up I dont know who many years ago. Just remember them taking a extra bit one section. But that has got to be 20 plus years ago now. Good point about checking info is up to date. Especially as I no longer give blood, as they struggle to get it out of me. But would do this in a heartbeat if got asked. So strongly believe in this and organ transplants. Good luck and am sure they talk you through everything and you are able to ask all the questions you want beforehand

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