GP appointments - is this widespread or maybe I am being sensitive?!

[Alpa2]

I’ve NC but regular poster. Whenever I’ve called my GP over the last few years, which has been rare maybe once or twice a year, I come off the phone almost shaking, a few times in tears. This is usually from speaking with the receptionist but sometimes the GP when they’re a locum. It’s either very abrupt rude and invasive questions from the receptionist (ie once telling me that my reaction to some tablet wasn’t a gp issue ). Or it’s the actual GP sounding like they couldn’t give a fuck and just find you a pain. I don’t even call unless it’s urgent or needed, I don’t books appointments unnecessarily.

This treatment has caused me to go privately for GP consultations (luckily I get that through work but they can’t deal with anything ongoing due to the nature of the insurance policy, just one off things). I’ve also gone direct to a consultant in the past simply to avoid having to call up the gp surgery and then even if I get through and have an appointment, have to feel like I’m fighting for my right to be seen or referred. Again, I really have not called up about anything and everything so I can’t see it being a case of them thinking I’m a problem patient and mostly I speak to locums so always seems to be a new GP there.

I’m really fed up of it and just wanted to rant really. I had to call them on Tuesday and it was just awful again, when I was allowed to book it in after loads of questioning, I was then speaking to another apparently new GP (to me at least) who got my name wrong (it’s a basic English name) and didn’t ask me to confirm my address and just said she only had 10 minutes before I had even spoken!

I’m not a little princess and I truly understand the pressures, especially now, and I’ve had some wonderful doctors (usually in hospital settings) treat me and family/friends in the past.... but I have begun to feel aggrieved that I am paying huge amounts in tax to find something where I frankly feel like I get treated like shit. It’s a sad state of affairs that it takes 200 quid to have an appointment with a doctor who will provide you with care where you feel at ease and entitled to book an appointment.

Just sad about it really and makes me feel like sometimes people are just terrible unless there’s a financial incentive. Am I being dramatic after a horrible call or is this a widespread feeling?

To fund not find

I never see the same doctor. Have no problems telling anything to the receptionist.

But, I tend to put off seeing docs because of hassle.

Being kind, is there any truth in you being a difficult patient?

Or do you expect disaster and manage to find it?

I have a complex surname which is never right and am always addressed by a long form of my first name which I don't actually have.

I have two chronic conditions btw.

Not at all. My surgery are kind and respectful. I’m often in awe of how kind they are. I genuinely feel very lucky to have a local practice that everyone seems to want to help.

@topcat2014 I suppose maybe I could be...I can’t rule it out but I would find it very odd given I rarely call and when I have it’s never been something that hasn’t been relatively serious at the time (ie severe chest infection where I had to go to hospital straight after and stay in).

So I honestly cannot see how I would be perceived as difficult but then again I don’t have an answer as to why this is the experience I have over and over.

I always speak to different doctors at mine but they re great, I ve had to have 2 phone appointments for me and 1 for my son in the past month and it's been so much easier than seeing someone in person, they completely took my word for it that I was discharged from hospital on a medication without the discharge letter and then I expect to be told as a FTM I was worrying over nothing but they believed my instinct that my son had oral thrush and did a prescription without even needing to see him in person.

Yes, I feel exactly the same and will do anything to avoid seeing the GP. I always come away feeling like I have wasted their time. I've resorted to seeing doctors privately, just because I feel I get treated better (not always the case). It always amazes me how many people go the GP with what seem to me, very minor issues. I just wouldn't put myself through it.

I don’t share your experience at all. The receptionists are very helpful and the doctors always patient, kind and knowledgeable. I have health anxiety and am in constant contact with my surgery and they must despair of me. But I always feel listened to and cared for. If you find your surgery so woeful, why on earth don’t you register with a different one?

@BradleyCooperwillbemine yes I absolutely won’t call unless I feel I have no option. I’ve actually called 111 before now which I probably shouldn’t and also a pharmacist for small issues - they’ve usually much better than GPs anyway and very helpful.

I think the problem with GPs sadly is you rarely get to see if they’re good at their jobs as they must be bogged down in admin most of the time. It is frustrating though and i was shocked by the professionalism in the private sector - I agree the advice is not much different or necessarily better, though.

@HildegardeCrowe I think I assumed most places were like this. I hadn’t considered moving as I do my best not to go to them much but i think I will move. It can’t be much worse than the battle axe they have on reception.

I feel similar. I don't phone for ages and then might need to phone many times. 3 or 4 of the GP's I regularly speak to are fabulous. Many of the others , including locus, are not that pleasant, jobsworths, or I leave feeling not entirely happy. I've had 2 Gp's apologise to me recently.

We have a receptionist (just the one) who (a) totally refuses to acknowledge that I am a Dr and for two years insisted on changing it back to Mrs (I am also NOT a Mrs!) until instructed to stop doing that by my GP; and (b) asks everyone for full details of their condition before deciding whether they can have an appointment. In the latter case I always politely decline to discuss my health with anyone not medically qualified, whereas being as I am medically qualified I think I know whether I need an appointment or not.

She hates me. I have no idea why they keep her. To be fair, the others are great and so are the medical staff.

Personally, if I felt this way I would be doing one or both of the following. Finding a new GP surgery. Speaking to the practice manager or senior GP about what I was unhappy about.

I get on very well with my GP and the receptionist is great. I hate the nurse though, cold and rude.

Can you change GPs? I suppose it's easier to do so if living in a city.

Are you an anxious person? I ask that because sometimes people find me "difficult" when in fact I'm having an anxious spell and come across as mardy and demanding.

I'm wondering if you're feeling picked on, but in fact everyone is treated the same? Our doctor's receptionists are required to ask what the appointment is about, there's signs up in the reception and a message on the phone before you get put through saying that they have been asked to by the partners and that they are trained to triage. Also that you can ask to go in a seperate room to speak to them for privacy if you want. I presume they have to do this so they can winnow out the people that seem to use it as a social club and want appointments every other day for no particular reason (like some of my relatives )
When you were told that something wasn't a GP issue, was she offering you an appointment with a different sort of person? We have nurse practitioners who can prescribe, one is an ex paramedic, so often you're offered an appointment with them for things that they are able to deal with. A medication reaction would definitely be a nurse practitioner appt at my doctor's, I've had that situation myself.
It's also made very clear on signage that only one issue can be discussed at the appointment, so that the GP can give it the proper attention to diagnose and prescribe. Rather than trying to deal with a laundry list of issues in 10 mins - perhaps they've been struggling with people over running on phone appointments and impacting the following patients and that's why they flagged a time limit at the start? Might be something they say to everyone.
Rudeness is a different kettle of fish, but I wonder if they get your back up with the things above and then you interpret briskness as rudeness?

My only gripe with my GP is that you have to phone on the day for an appointment, which means you can't plan time off work in advance. When you tell them you're at work 30 miles away so no, you can't be there in 15 minutes, they seem completely baffled.

We’ve got great GP’s and practice nurse is good too.
One of the receptionists is lovely.

The other is just plain moody: sometimes she’s fine, other times she’s rude. And patient are ALWAYS assumed to be wrong, regardless of the question. I’m sure she has a hard job, but it’s not worse than the other receptionists role!

@WeeDangerousSpike yes probably briskness in a lot of instances actually. I work in a very pressured job and deal with all sorts of people on a daily basis. Never ever would I speak to someone the way they do, so I guess I’m just not used to it. It makes a mockery of the nhs because I’d rather use the NI payments to pay privately (I know that would mean private costs went up so there’s no solution). It’s just made me cross recently that I feel actually scared to call them! I agree that they don’t understand that someone may have a job and therefore they need, you know, an actual scheduled appointment

I think the poster above is right that I should just move somewhere else.

I'm the same as you OP. The doctors are usually okay but the receptionists are awful. I'm always made to feel like I'm being stupid for phoning, I don't call them often, but they speak with a tone as if to say "what do you expect me to do?" I am very suicidal and at the start of covid they told me my medication wasnt important because of everything else going on! I often come off the phone thinking if I do ever actually end my life, it will be because of them!

I did have a very judgy doctor once. It was when I was a teenager and my first boyfriend had given me an STI. She made a comment that I had been sleeping around and when I told her he was the only person I had been with she then commented that he must've been sleeping around. He had only been with one person before me so it was just very unfortunate circumstances, but I couldn't believe how judgemental she was about it.

I must be lucky with mine. All the staff are usually great, even this year. I don't love the phone appointments, but understand why they do it. I might need to wait longer to see/talk to a doctor of my choosing, but it's pretty much always been possible. (Obviously if it's an emergency I'll just talk to whoever's first available; luckily don't have any reason to avoid any of the doctors in my surgery.)

I just booked an appointment this week for something not super urgent. asking to talk to the GP I usually do if possible. The receptionist asked if I minded telling the reason, or if it was personal, and when I said it was for mental health, she made sure I was really ok to wait for the week until the appt with this particular one, or if I needed to speak to someone more urgently. And this was on a day when I knew they were several staff members down due to illness and self-isolation, so they must have been busy.

@Moondust001 that sounds frustrating. Also rather insulting isn’t it. Not difficult to address you as DR.

@SelfIcellation I can get anxious and I think I’ve built this up. But I mean in any other situation calling a dentist or the gym or the bank I seem to manage fine, and I have a job where I manage lots of people and deal with the public daily and I never feel that sick anxious feeling like I do calling the GP!

@CatRamsey I’m sorry, that sounds awful. Your call was just as important as any other. I had a similar incident at the start of covid and I remember coming off the call thinking fuck if that woman is speaking to all people like that I’m sure many will feel every worse and be in more danger than when they called!

Surprised laughter to the idea above that receptionists can triage. How about you’re not made to discuss your medial history with someone not medically trained, thanks!!

This is all standard lm afraid but not right. My surgery has gone from bad to worse, l think they think the pandemic means they can do what they want. Which is very little. I have little faith in my GP as they can’t even read basic blood test results, she said they were fine. I checked and they weren’t, they weren’t in normal range. The receptionist normally have a massive attitude problem and think they have been to medical school, amusing as l have a degree in nursing and lm a qualified nurse so more qualified than them

I have some incredibly rare once only seen in a gp lifetime. It makes having my conditions very difficult. Even my specialist only has me who has this condition.

This makes it really hard for a GP to treat me. However it’s taken years. I basically ring my drs and tell them what I need and they give it to me. For example. Every single infection needs an antibiotics. Otherwise I end up in ICU. Every new dr doesn’t realise this and it usually ends up with me being blue lighted to hospital. Then they tend to get it.

It’s really hard. But you’ve got to push through it

Shaking and crying from speaking to a receptionist? No, of course that isn’t a usual experience. Trying a new surgery might be a good start.

@InTheseUncertainTimes wow that certainly wouldn’t happen at this place!! They truly don’t care. One hung up on me once a year or so ago for quite literally no apparent reason. It was quite odd.

If it was the same GP and the same receptionist I'd be suggesting that maybe you change surgeries, but the fact it's a number of different people does rather suggest it might be you - sorry.

I wonder if the issue is that you expect the doctor to be very sympathetic, allow you plenty of time to talk, and make you feel very reassured, whereas the reality of an NHS appointment is that the doctor is going to be very matter of fact, expect you to get straight to the point and then diagnose and move you on. You'll get more of this "fluffiness" in a paid for private appointment which tends to be longer, which might well be why you prefer it. I suspect your expectations might be too high.

exactly the same for me, OP
i m in a village - cannot go elsewhere

i avoid them as much as possible - i always leave in tears or close to tears. Every visit triggers anxiety attacks before AND after. I work in a big big city hospital so health is not an alien field of practice to me.

The type of "care" i ve received for increasing menstrual flooding and clots was "it's a woman problem, it happens a lot". For my (still untreated anxiety) "maybe you should stop working full time".

God awful. The way they talk to the older people is even worst. No respect and infantilising.