If you had a colicky baby, are they happy now? Advice and reassurance please

[Reflectiononus]

As a caveat to the below - rationally I know this is probably extremely normal; I've read loads on it and everything says that. But emotionally I'm very tired and worried and need a little reassurance and advice

I have a beautiful five and a half week old DD. She's feeding brilliantly and seemed to be born latched (which is a real relief after difficulty I had with DC1) with plenty of wet and dirty nappies etc and gaining weight nicely. I know how lucky we are on that front

She seemed fairly alert for a newborn and looked about interestedly before sleeping normal newborn amounts although always preferred to be held which I expected as being totally normal. She was awake for example in pram looking around happily for twenty mins or so every time I took her out with DC1

Since about week 3 though she's seemed very unhappy in virtually all her waking time though we have a few windows of interest and I think she's flashed a little smile a few times. I can settle her provided she is held upright or in sling which she loves (brilliant as I can get on with stuff with DC1)

She will not be laid down at all now in crib or pram, and will scream for the entire duration of any time she's in car seat. I'm getting maybe 2 hours sleep average total per night which I can only achieve by simulating holding her by lying next to the Next 2 Me holding one hand under her head and the other under her bum. There's no pillow or duvet next to her and I can't roll onto her so it seems fairly safe, I don't think cosleeping would achieve anything more. Tried white noise and swaddling etc and know it's just a phase to work through

My DH can't settle her at all and he was great with DC1, he is competent and helpful but she screams inconsolably for the duration of time he has her unless I get her to sleep first

I think she has silent reflux and also wind, have tried cot tilting, hold upright for 30 mins after feed and also burp her carefully, tried infant gaviscon and have a GP appointment this week

The main thing is though she seems so miserable whenever she isn't asleep in the sling and I know it's probably normal with leaps etc and she's so young but I'm worried she's going to be unhappy for all her life. I know that sounds ridiculous, I remember DC1 being very fussy too and also waking whenever laid down but she is so cheerful, content and active now

Any tips to help her are really appreciated but also reassurance that it doesn't mean she'll be unhappy forever! I worry that I've struggled a bit in pregnancy as got BFP just before lockdown one and gave birth in the second and wonder if all of that has impacted her slightly

Ps DH is helping on sleep front, he's taken afternoon off so I can sleep now. I'm just describing the nights for context

My reflux baby is now 8 years old and is the happiest little being ever!

That's so nice to hear! Bumping post nap as feeling very strange and a bit low

My DS became extremely colicky, had a tongue tie (only clipped at 4 months) and an undiagnosed dairy allergy. He was NOT a happy baby to begin with. But by 6months, his temperament massively improved. He became very happy and loves to laugh. He is 2 now and the stress of the newborn days has long gone.
I am now pregnant with DC2. But for the first few months of DS1's life, I had resigned myself to just stopping at 1 child as I thought motherhood just wasn't for me. Oh how things have changed.

Oh bless you, I really feel for you OP. It's a rubbish phase, and I can well remember those evenings of DS1 screaming and screaming. It feels like it will never end, but I promise you it will! DS1 turned out to be a great sleeper - very energetic, but a very chilled out (older) baby and toddler. He's 8 years old now and currently curled up on the sofa watching a programme about fishing. There is light at the end of the tunnel! It feels hard now because it is, but it will get better, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you're struggling.

My 3 month old had very similar symptoms. Would scream for hours on end if laid down but much happier picked up or in a sling. Dr gave us infant gaviscon and recommended we raise the head of his Moses basket up slightly and those things seemed to work a charm. Im very careful about how often I pick him up and move him about as I think maybe all the movement brings his stomach acid up or something idk. Good news is he got a lot better! Many family members suggested my baby had colic but it seems to be gone now. I'm sure you'll find something that works for you.

Thank you. I feel quite prepared to get through newborn phase but just want to her to be happy and not so distressed all the time, I can't imagine her being a contended baby and don't know what to do

It's really hard seeing your baby screaming and screaming and not knowing how to make them happy, but lots of babies do go through this phase. Nobody really knows why. (And you've got a GP appointment to rule out anything else, so that's good.) I promise you it's not a sign she'll be unhappy for the rest if her life! (By about 6 weeks you'll start to get smiles, and that's when it all starts to feel a bit easier!)