DD come back from exH saying "corona virus is a scam"

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

I'm furious - my 8yo DD has come back from exH's and is saying that corona virus is a "Scandemic" and "this country's a joke".

To give context - the reason ex and I split was because of his infidelity but it was hugely going downhill anyway. The man I married was smart and sensitive, and the man I divorced was a sexist, racist conspiracy theorist. This will sound odd but he's been brainwashed by ultra right wing Youtubers and had for some time been whining on about the New World Order, 911 was an inside job, Muslims trying to impose sharia law etc. He became a fan or Trump and Nigel Farage FFS. He would throw a tantrum when I challenged him. So it really doesn't surprise me that he thinks COVID is a "scam".

Anyway I asked DD if she even knows what she's saying means. She said no, but daddy had said it (and in her eyes he is God 🙄)

I usually limit contact to a need-only basis but on this occasion I did text him to ask him what he'd said to her. Anyway he replied he did say it's a scam "because it is". I replied saying oh well then when I had it in August and he had to come down and collect the kids I was obviously faking. So he's broken it down by sending me videos he's watched (🙄) and this is what he believes from what I can see:

1. It's a man made virus that's been put out to the population. People do fall ill
2. This has been done to test compliancy rates
3. It's also something to do with Trump, the election and Bill Gates
4. A one world government and one world currency will follow
5. Some girl in America has died but she's actually alive and it's a huge cover up (?!)
6. Actors are pretending to get vaccines, or something.

I'm gravely concerned that he's telling DD that the pandemic is a scam. I've explained as best I can that her dad is wrong (she's all "but why would he lie", so I've also had to explain that some people are fucking stupid, though I used different words). I could really do with some resources for children her age if anyone can recommend them, to explain how the virus actually works, how it spreads etc. She's a very logical child and I think if she understand the science she will realise her dad is wrong.

No point explaining the virus and why it's not a scam to exH, he's never wrong. Maybe I'm overreacting but I don't actually want her going back when he tells her stuff like this.

I don't think you're overreacting at all op. People like this are dangerous and if he doesn't believe COVID is real he won't be following local guidelines either, will he? Thereby potentially putting your dd and you at risk.

Difficult not react in way to your dd that is negative towards her dad
but if you believe differently to him tell her why
Just don’t use her as a way to score points
It’s her who is in the middle
We’re all entitled to our opinions

He's entitled to his ridiculous opinion but that would suggest to me that he probably isn't following the current guidelines and therefore could put your DD at an increased risk of catching Covid. Would any father actually want that?
I don't know your situation of sharing childcare but I'd be really reluctant to send her to him.

I had to laugh at “Scandemic” OP. Perhaps just try to avoid the topic just listen to your DD and say her dads got mixed up and swiftly change the subject.

Oh don't engage with him. No point. Just ask that he refrains from discussing things that are obviously of an adult nature with her as it confuses and upsets her. And that you want her to have a positive relationship with him, but if he starts to harm her mental health you will have to seek outside guidance over whether contact in its current form is healthy for her.

I've stopped contact for same reason, although my ex has gone further, pulling her mask off, telling her if anyone tries to give her a covid test run away or they will kidnap her plus lots more. My DD is 11 and thinks her dad is a complete idiot but I'm heavily pregnant and don't fancy catching covid a second time from him so its no contact for now until he stops being a weirdo or were all vaccinated, including new baby and both DDs so may be a while!

Number 1 is now common knowledge. It is a lab made virus that came from China.

I would explain to her that some people find it comforting to believe it’s part of a plan rather than a ‘wild’ illness.

@blueangel19

Number 1 is now common knowledge. It is a lab made virus that came from China.

Have you a reference for that?

Found this link for explaining conspiracy theories to kids (in the preschoolers section but applicable to much older as well id say). Id get your stuff all together first then take her through to show her why its bullshit together.

www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/everything-kids/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-conspiracy-theories/

Thats utter crap, blueangel19.

All this is becuae Covid is "getting in his way", causing inconvenience I suspect!

Common knowledge @blueangel19 ? Care to share any credible sources?

OP, not overreacting at all. Your DD is too young to understand or apply reasoning herself, the batshit conspiracy theories can be genuinely damaging.

It almost amuses me how these conspiracy theorists can say with a straight face there is no Covid-19 but it's a man made virus because of a NWO agenda (or whatever they've subscribed to).

Talk with her about how to fact check. Listen to scientists with her like Jonathon Van Tam. Talk about vaccines and how they have been resourced. All the time looking for this evidence not just telling her.

Then move on to how some people seem to find it easier thinking its all some complicated conspiracy. But, like most things is life, the explanation is actually far more straightforward.

Ebverybody needs to take notice of whos is not able to manage this situation like a decent human being, so next time these right wing morons are doing their war fantasist bit or on about 'snowflakes' we can remind them

I suspect she'l trust Drs and scientists? so do as Kez suggests maybe and get some good Tedtalk like videos to show her.

I saw a book in Smyths yesterday explaining covid 19 to children, when I saw it I though it was odd but it may help your daughter understand things I’ll try and find a link ....

www.amazon.co.uk/Coronavirus-Book-Children-about-Covid-19/dp/1839942517?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Here’s a free online version...
nosycrow.com/resource/coronavirus-a-book-for-children-about-covid-19-revised-and-updated-july-2020-edition/

@blueangel19

Number 1 is now common knowledge. It is a lab made virus that came from China.

Rubbish. They did genetics on the virus and it's a natural mutation.

Just knew this thread would bring out the conspiracy theorists.

best not to say anything negative about her idiot father - I would suggest that sometimes people get confused about what it true & what isn't even people we love - sometimes its because they want to ignore things that they don't understand or are frightened by - & than ask her if she has any questions that you can answer about corona virus?

There are some great YouTube videos from hospitals e.g. COV-ED for Kids, Dr Panda, and Ineqe Safeguarding do one probably better for your DD’s age. I’m surprised this hasn’t been covered consistently at school, maybe have a word with the teacher and explain what has happened - it’s important your daughter doesn’t misinform other children. I’m a governor at an international school, and we have lots of science, history, English projects etc. related to COVID so kids are informed. You will also find some good resources to watch with her on why people believe in conspiracy theories, which can help stimulate discussion on this in a way that doesn’t ‘attack’ her dad.

I’d suggest not providing more contact with her father on health grounds.

@blueangel19 do you really believe this or is this irony????
I have been having blistering arguments (on their side not mine - I have tried to write factual answers but I seriously wonder about some peoples reason for promoting inaccurate/fake links etc) on other sites & providing links to journal articles & snopes etc -

Is he taking her out mixing putting her in danger if so id stop contact let him explain it to a court

if not and just ranting try and explain people have different opinions

he doesnt make sense though says its a scam but admit people areill-so whats really his point

"Number 1 is now common knowledge. It is a lab made virus that came from China"
Don't jump on @blueangel19 for this statement, didn't suspicion initially fall on one of the laboratories in or near Wuhan initially? I know I read - probably in the Guardian - that the WHO were concerned about their biosecurity practices.This doesn't undermine the seriousness of the pandemic. One way or another, we are all in a hell of a mess because China did something unethical and unhygienic - most likely in the wet markets.

www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/54910459